(Apr 12, 2007) I completely forgot to say that this story has been written many months ago... Or maybe not so many, but it's been done, so there is really no point in suggesting anything. :p
As you might have guessed, this story has nothing to do with Buffy, except for the title, which I thought was funny.
And one more thing: I don't publish non-fanfiction works on Internet. So don't complain about the lyrics not being "original".
I think that any original "lyrics" wouldn't make sense, since no one can guess what the melody is. And it's rather convenient for readers to be able to listen to these songs in their collections, rather than "read poetry". :P

Notes: Response to a challenge at Portkey. Basically, "a HP version of the Buffy Musical episode" (NOT literally, geez!). :) Not HBP compliant, takes place on 7th Year.
Important: The songs will not be sang completely, some of the songs I've picked were too long and it's just not fair to put so many lines of lyrics. So don't be confused if a song "ends" before time. Some songs might appear completely, though.
Also, I never think my readers are dumb, so I don't bother with disclaimers.

Chapter 1: Harry's Way!

April's Fools. A day to enjoy setting pranks on people and watching their reactions. For Hermione, however, it was a horrible day. A day to avoid all sorts of terrible magic things!

She knew it was today. The bushy haired girl opened her eyes and touched her face throughly. "Two eyes, a nose, a mouth, two ears... My voice is normal, smooth skin. No irregularities," she mused quietly. She sat up and looked at the rest of her body. Everything was fine. No tentacles, spikes or more digits than usual. Her bed was fine as well.

She opened the beg hanging and looked around. Yup, it was the girls' dorm. Normal-looking girls getting up, dressing up or still sleeping. Most stared cautiously as Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil decided to take the risk and get out of the room. They all sighed in relief when no bucket fell on the girls' heads or something similar.

Maybe the boys forgot what day is today? she wondered as she got up and got her uniform from her trunk.

Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley had not received aid from the Weasley twins that year. They were very concerned. Fred and George had talked about closing their shop after a prank on their mother got out of hand, and they even said they'd come to Hogwarts to finish their seventh year!

The raven-haired and the redhead had believed it was a joke, until a letter from Arthur Weasley to Ron and his younger sister, Ginny, mentioned that Mrs Weasley would be in bed for a long time until she recovered from the twins' prank.

April's Fools day wouldn't be the same from that year on. It was pitiful. After all, Harry Potter had finally defeated Lord Voldemort a week before, and could have enjoyed that day with all sorts of jokes on his friends and (especially) some of the nagging fans.

As Harry, Hermione and Ron walked towards the Great Hall for breakfast, they literally bumped into their Potions professor. The double-spy scowled at them. "Ten points from Gryffindor, for not looking where you're going!" he snapped as he made to walk to the Staff Table.

Harry felt his anger building up. "Why must you keep doing that? You weren't paying attention neither!" he called out. Some of the students who were already eating breakfast turned to look at him. Ron and Hermione stared wide-eyed at him.

Snape turned around and glared at the young man. "Did you just question a professor, Potter?"

"No," Harry said almost in a growl. "I questioned you." There was a collective gasp, and the small door on the far end of the Great Hall opened as the professors walked to their table, seemingly unaware of the spectacle near the Gryffindor table.

Suddenly, music started playing out of the blue. Harry stood on the bench where he usually sat and looked down at the Potions Master. "You think you're special," he started singing, much to the astonishment of everyone. "You do.

I can see it in your eyes

I can see it when you laugh at me

Look down on me

You walk around on me."

Snape's eyes widened in shock and fury, as Harry continued singing. "Just one more fight

About your leadership

And I will straight up

Leave your shit," at that point everyone gasped at the curse word, and the famous Gryffindor was so caught up in the song he wasn't even aware of it. "Cause I've had enough of this

And now I'm pissed

Yeah

This time I'm 'a let it all come out

This time I'm 'a stand up and shout

I'm 'a do things my way

It's my way

My way, or the highway

Just one more fight

About a lot of things

And I will give up everything

To be on my own again

Free again

Yeah

This time I'm 'a let it all come out

This time I'm 'a stand up and shout

I'm 'a do things my way

It's my way

My way, or the highway." The rock song ended and Harry blinked at everyone, too stunned to do anything else. Slowly, he got down from the table and ran out of the Great Hall. Hermione and Ron ran after him, leaving behind a perplexed Snape.

"What the bloody hell was that, mate?" Ron asked his friend when they found him sitting near the lake, behind the castle. "I've never seen Snape looking so... so... speechless!" he laughed.

Hermione scowled at him. Her expression changed to one of gentleness as she looked at Harry. "Are you all right?"

The green-eyed boy looked at her incredulously. "Didn't you see what happened there? I basically told him off. In front of everyone! If I don't get expelled, Snape won't give me a break for the rest of the term."

"I'm sure there's a logical explanation for... what happened there," Hermione said calmly. "Clearly you didn't meant for it to happen. Someone must've cursed you, probably as a joke or something like that." She wrinkled her nose at the thought. "If I ever find the person..."

Ron smirked. "Well, let's go back inside, Harry. Sulking won't solve a thing." The other two turned to him with looks of admiration and awe. "What? What did I do?"

Harry looked at Hermione. "Did he just say something mature?"

"Now I think he is the one cursed!" she said in mock surprise.

Ron sighed and shook his head, pretending to look hurt. "You guys have little faith in me," he said as he walked away. "Come on, Grumpy and Brainy!" He ran away when they started chasing him with their wands out.

As the three of them walked back to the Great Hall, they heard some music and a small crowd surrounding two boys and a girl. They all looked like Fourth or Fifth Years. One of the boys seemed to be singing to the girl, and the other boy seemed to be a back-up singer. The girl was as red as a tomato.

"You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel," the lead boy sang.

"Do it again now," the other boy said.

"You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals

So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."

"Gettin' horny now."

Harry, Hermione and Ron rushed away from there, taken aback by the rather suggestive movements of the boys' hips. The crowd obviously enjoyed the show, though, and they all clapped in the rhythm of the music.

Notes: I know, wtf? I spent all night listening to my collection of songs (I usually don't like more than two or three from a same artist). I've found a lot of good songs for this story. A lot of characters will have a chance at singing. So this story is very well crazy, as some people will pop up (with some lame reason) and sing their heads off. Dead characters, though: Cedric and Sirius. Sorry. :P