Chapter 2

They strolled towards the river comfortable in the silence of each other's company. Hermione unconsciously smiled as they neared the path called Lover's Lane. She glanced towards Harry but he was deep in thought. She sighed.

“Harry, I was scared about the potion from the start. I mean the dangerous side-effects were obvious especially the temporary invisibility. And God, I don't want you to live so vicariously. The fact that you take on someone else's appearances changes your perspective. I don't want that to happen. I mean, if you continue to use the potion, you could just disappear one day. Just disa-”

“Five years later and I can still hear his screams,” he said interrupting her.

She was sitting on a hard, cold bench facing the river. She couldn't see his facial expressions as he leaned over the rails separating the river from the platform above. Hermione moved to join him.

“Five years later and his screams are more piercing than any other.”

“You used to fight with him so much especially in Sixth Year. Everyone thought you two were going to end up together. Even I did. Well, I sort of didn't like thinking about it,” he said chuckling taking hold of her hand once more.

She smiled. “You were too dense to see the signs to the contrary,” she said.

He laughed and continued. “Then in Seventh Year, everything changed,” he said as he slowly fingered shapes into her palm. He seemed unable to let go of her hand.

“And then he was gone,” he continued, “He was the brother I never had. I looked up to him. Sometimes, I was even jealous of him. He had everything I didn't. I just felt so broken down after the anniversary of his death.”

He said this all smoothly. His voice unchanging. But Hermione knew he was suppressing his emotions.

“Harry, I know. I know. I miss him too. He was my friend as much as yours. But I am not going to start hiding because of the entire stir the media is creating,” she said looking into his eyes.

“Look, Harry, I don't want you to separate yourself from me like this. I miss you.” She finally admitted.

`Maybe it's time,' she thought taking in the somber London view. He had proposed here.

“Harry, I need to tell you something.”

“Hmmm…”

“Gosh, I don't know how to say this. Hermione Granger, speechless! Where is the bloody press when you need them?” she said nervously.

“Hermione, are you okay? Is something wrong?” he said suddenly worried.

“Damn it, I don't know why I keep on crying,” she said withdrawing her hand from his in frustration wiping her tears away, “The waterworks just won't stop.”

“Hermy, what's the matter? Look I know I'm being an arse ending the engagement and everything but I thoug -”

“I get the nightmares too.”

Harry was shocked. His mouth hung open for a minute. It all made sense. Hermione's frequent insomnia. Her showing up in his Muggle London apartment in the middle of the night. He thought it had everything to do with his leaving. But he had never been more acutely aware of her lack of presence. She had always been there for him.

They had shared an apartment after the War. Separate rooms, of course. But they were in love. They had announced their engagement. However, everything had gone wrong after Ron's death anniversary. So he had tried to separate himself from her in the excuse of a potion. But in all these years, she had never told him about the nightmares. He would have done anything to take away the pain.

She looked at him teary-eyed. “It started right after the War. At first, I thought it would eventually go away and it wasn't that bad. But now it's getting worse. I'm so afraid. I keep on seeing you fall into the Veil before the Final Battle and fearing you won't return. And sometimes, I hear Ron uttering his last words: `Take care of him, Hermione'. And I wake up. Dammit, ” she said finally fiercely staring at him.

It was 2 A.M. He had a long day ahead of him. He was barely awake. However, someone was furiously knocking on the door. Reluctantly getting up from bed, Harry opened the door.

She was wet. It had been raining the whole day.

“Hermione, are you ok?”

She cried in his arms that night. She wouldn't tell him what was wrong. They had not seen each other for a week. This was the longest time they had been separated since The War.

Harry felt angry and upset. “Why didn't you tell me this before?” he said kissing the top of her forehead.

She was beautiful with her large brown eyes and pouty lips. She was modest & plain. She never wore make-up. She didn't need any false reassurances about her appearance.

“How could I? You left after you started using the potion because of the invisibility effects. And the mood swings. But you seemed happy. Even if it was away from me. ”

He took the potion Slughorn suggested. It was one of his bad days. He called in sick. She had come home & found him transformed crouching on the floor holding his head. He seemed to be fading in & out of his physical body.

She rushed towards him asking:

“Harry, is something wrong?”

He looked up at her. His dark eyes bored into her being. They contained an unusual stirring madness. She had never been more afraid. She gripped her wand tightly.

“Accio Potion!” she whispered.

She walked closer. She gripped his wrist and felt the powerful magic coursing through his veins. On impulse, she kissed him. Hard and demanding.

Soon, she felt his arms encircle her waist. When they broke apart, his eyes had turned its normal emerald shade. She withdrew from him silently pleading that he take the antidote of the Transformation potion.

He gulped it down cringing from its bittersweet taste.

She realized she had been shaking with fear the whole time. The next day, he moved out.

Gently, Harry cupped the sides of Hermione's face. “Don't say that, Hermione. I thought I was protecting you from everything by moving away, for God's sake. It was an excuse - even the Transformation potion - all of it was a bloody excuse.”

“Harry, I don't need protecting. I just want you to be there. I hate the distance that the media and especially the potion have put between us. I know you have the chance of a lifetime. You can be out of your skin. You can be whoever you want to be. But I don't want you to be anyone else. ”

“Harry, what would I have done if something had gone wrong with you? You're risking your life by using that potion. Can't you see how much I love you?” she cried her knees begging to give way under her.

He smiled and brought her closer to him. She leaned her weight on him.

“I want you to come back. Promise me you'll never drink the potion again.”

“I can't say No, now, can I Hermy?”

“I guess you can't… But you might as well say it anyway,” she remarked playfully.

“Yes.”

Hermione hugged him fiercely knocking the wind out of him.

“I guess I should return this to you then,” he said removing a chain from his neck that he had hidden under his sweater.

Harry watched as Hermione's eyes lit up. The emerald ring on the thin gold necklace shimmered.

“You carry it around with you?”

“Yes to the glee of all the men in the Auror Department.”

Slowly, he unclasped the chain removing the ring. He then placed the ring on her fourth finger.

“Your hand looked remarkably bare without it,” he said kissing her knuckles.

Harry remembered when Hermione found out that they had accepted her as an intern at St. Mungo's. At about the same time, he was allowed into Auror training. They had odd working hours but they rejoiced in the different atmosphere. They were not fighting anymore or searching for Horcruxes, they were joining the normal world albeit without Ron, a casualty of the war.

At first, both Harry and Hermione were afraid of their budding feelings for each other as they tried to put their past behind including Ron's death. Each doubted that one returned the other's feelings. But living in the same apartment just brought them closer. They were undoubtedly in love. They soon announced their engagement. But old classmates remembered the `sexual tension' between Hermione & Ron only too well. Soon, ol' Rita Skeeter emerged from retirement.

“Hermione, I want to say that I'm sorry. I should never have taken the Transformation potion. I didn't realize how much I was using the potion as a defense mechanism. After all the media craziness started, I just wanted to escape.”

“I am a haunted man, Hermione. I always will be. I was afraid after we announced our engagement. I wanted to protect you from the press and their implications. And then of all things, I started to think that maybe they were right. Maybe I was the first runner-up. The convenient choice. The consolatory prize once Ron had gone.”

“Harry, you always knew that was not true.”

“I thought maybe I could just forget everything. Start all over again.”

“But I'm a stupid man. I didn't realize that one fundamental piece was missing in my equation. You,” he said pausing. “Can you ever forgive me for being such a head case?”

“I guess if you buy me all the books that I want,” she said lightly clearing the tension from the air, “And you'll probably have to move back in to do all of my cooking.”

“I would never leave you alone in the kitchen anyway,” he said kissing her passionately whole on the mouth. She had no time to protest.