Disclaimer: Same as first four chapters…

A/N: There you go. Hurray!

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Draco’s Quiz

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1. What time did you get up this morning?
 

How would I bloody know? Do you think I have clocks in my room? I hate clocks. I do everything on my own time, which is, whenever I bloody please. So sod off!

2. Diamonds or Pearls?


Did Ginny put you up to this? Blasted hag! You think she’d be satisfied with the name Malfoy. Does she not understand how important the name Malfoy is? She was raised from the dirt that is Weasley to the grandeur of Malfoy, and yet she wants more baubles?

Wonderful. I love it when my witch is greedy. We aren’t rich for nothing.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

Steel Magnolias. Such a poignant tale of love, family loyalty and community kinship in a Southern American town…

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK I SAW? 
 

4. What is your favorite T. V. show?

Granger…you watch those shows too? Aren’t you just a little strumpet.


7. Favorite cuisine?

Food? What are you talking about? Do you think I eat? I’m a Malfoy. I don’t eat. How else do you think I retain my perfectly spectral beauty, my fair skin, the luminescent sheen of my hair and eyes…the wonderfully boyish figure that the slash writers love to write about. Yes, I know all about you, dreaming up different scenarios to have Potter pressed up against me likes some tart. As if I were that easy. 
 

8. What foods do you dislike?

All kinds. Food revolts me.

9. What is your favorite crisps flavor?

 You know, I helped Fred and George develop their crisps…

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment?

All the soundtracks to the Lord of the Rings films. I’ve always wanted to be an elf. I’m good looking enough.
 
11. What kind of car do you drive?

Oh god do not mention that worthless piece of Muggle rubbish to me. They’re destroying the environment with those things. How much stupider can they be? Of course, they do have a much more limited cranial capacity…

12. Favorite sandwich?

I once had this dream where Ginny and I were naked in bed together. The bed was covered in silvery satin sheets…and then Potter burst into the room. He was wearing those Diesel jeans…

Look at you slashers just drooling over that last paragraph. You disgust me.
 

13. What characteristic do you despise?

Courage. Loyalty. Kindness. Fairness. Whatever else the dratted hat had to say about Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs. Ravenclaws are allright.

Ginny is a closet Slytherin, so she’s beside the point…


14. Favorite item of clothing?

Potter does look good in those jeans, doesn’t he? I think I’ll slit his throat for that.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you
go?

Somewhere far away from Granger. She’s been badgering my wife for weeks about this absurd wedding…so Potter finally managed the stones to ask Granger? Such a pity, Potter. I had contemplated leaving Ginny and giving into my secret homosexual desires with you.

Look at the slash girls twitch.

16. What color is your bathroom?

Green and silver. What else did you expect, moron?

 
17. Favorite brand of clothing?

T’adore, by Madame Maxine. Those lingerie sets work great, Weasley. I’m surprised Luna is brave enough to let herself get mauled by you, you big, overgrown, worthless maggot.

And if anyone so much as mentions those Diesel jeans again, I swear…

18. Where would you retire to?

Anywhere that is far away from Granger and her exhausting anal-retentiveness. I’d like my wife back, Granger! You don’t own her! I do.

19. What was your most memorable birthday?

What do you mean? All my birthdays have been memorable. In fact, I think my birthday should be made into some sort of feast day. Why shouldn’t everyone worship the day that this handsome piece of male ass was brought into the world? I am the epitome of perfection and everyone should fall on their knees and pray to the heavens for me!

20. Favorite sport to watch?

I love to watch Gladiatorial sports. I often go back in time glut myself on the blood, guts, and glory…those emperors had it right, I say.

21. Furthest Place you are sending this?

To my father in Azkaban most likely. I hope he remembers who I am. Last time he kept calling me “Simon” and muttering lyrics to Duran Duran songs…

Hmmm…I wonder who this one SexySeverus@Hogwarts.net character is…


22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you?

My wife. She probably won’t check her email for months, what with Granger being up her arse all the time.

Granger, that used to be MY spot. Give it back!

24. Goal you have for yourself?

Right now I’m sitting in an Internet café in Muggle London. I come here from time to time to silently mock the idiot Muggles that go about their pathetic lives without magic or money. The lot of them disgust me…

Today I’ve decided to torture them for their stupidity. I narrowed my torture down to one idiot looking bloke sipping at his tea like some retarded version of Neville Longbottom, so you know this one’s got it coming to him. I’ve been using my wand to make his teacup go empty whenever the waiter turns around to serve others. The idiot Muggle waves about frantically, and when the waiter does return, the teacup is full again, only to empty itself again when the waiter turns away. The Muggle looks completely freaked out…he just took out a Rosary it appears. My goal is to freak him out so much he’ll commit suicide, right here, in front of everyone. Bastard git!

25. When is your birthday?

Unless you’re going to send me something really expensive I don’t think it bloody matters to you.

26. When is your Anniversary?

An Anniversary requires I have a wife. I have no wife. Granger’s stolen her.

27. Are you a morning person or a night person?

 I’m whatever I want to be, you little shit.

28. What is your shoe size?


This knowledge would scare the living daylights out of you. You’d wonder, is it really that BIG…does it really fit inside?

Of course I’m talking about my foot and shoe, you disgusting little perv. What were you thinking of?

29. Pets?

I have a magical menagerie in the west are of the lawns at Malfoy Manner. I never really liked animals, I just wanted them because they were exotic and expensive and made all my friends jealous. That, and I enjoyed watching them grow up in a gilded cage…just like me.

30. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us?

The Muggle is looking at his butter knife with an interested look. I think he might just do it…

31. What did you want to be when you were little?

Emancipated.

 
32. How are you today?

Bloody wonderful. What else would I be? I’m rich and a Malfoy. Be jealous you pathetic arses!

33. What is your favorite flower?

I hate flowers. I asked Ginny to stop wearing that disgusting perfume of hers. I prefer it when she smells like me.

34. What is a date on the calendar are you looking forward to?

 The day I finally get my wife back.

35. Where is the furthest you have ever been from home?

I have no bloody clue about that. When Snape hid me for that spell after sixth year, I had the strangest feeling that I was in the Ottoman Empire…

*snorts*

Potter and Weasley are such retards.

38. A small thing you really enjoy?

 Torturing the Muggles. Do it! Do it! You know you want to kill yourself…

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