My Stupid Mouth

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. One-shot based on “My Stupid Mouth” by John Mayer.

By: Glitterfairyxoxo

Rated: PG

A/N: Rather short and silly. Enjoy.

~

“My stupid mouth

Has got me in trouble

I said too much again

To a date over dinner yesterday

And I could see

She was offended

She said, `Well, anyway…'

Just dying for a subject change…”

~

Harry wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers. He was currently sitting across from Hermione at one of the fancy restaurants in Diagon Alley wondering just what the hell he'd asked Hermione on his second official date with her. He's was in quite the dilemma now, if he thought about it hard enough, but right at that very moment, Harry's mind was berating his stupid mouth.

Being best friends with your girlfriend was actually much more complicated than it seemed. Harry knew everything about Hermione, except that one stupid question that had slipped through his stupid mouth.

“Are you a virgin?” he'd asked her.

Good Lord and Merlin, what was he supposed to do now? Hermione had tried to change the subject, but ended up biting her lip and looking out the window while her fingers twiddled with a paper napkin on the table. He watched her cautiously, his hands nervously reaching out for the salt and pepper shakers.

What Harry really needed was a filter in his head, that way, all the stupidity could be cleared in his brain before something like this happened again.

It wasn't his fault, though. At least, Harry didn't think it was. Hermione just had to wear that low-cut shirt and smile prettily, and his brain would fry. Then he'd say a bunch of crap before his mind caught up with his mouth. Just like now.

He watched her cautiously as their food was delivered to the table. Hermione gazed up at the waitress, not really seeing her, thanked her, and then looked down at her plate. Harry did the same and realized then just how quickly his hunger had run away with his mouth.

The least he could do was apologize, right?

“Look, Hermione, I—”

“I am.”

Harry's head snapped up. “What?” he asked, even though he heard her. He didn't understand though.

“I'm a virgin.”

She looked up, meeting his rather shocked gaze, and smiled that sweet, shy smile that drove Harry crazy.

“Well, err, all right then,” Harry said, and he grinned.

Maybe having a stupid mouth wasn't such a bad thing.

Finis