Fading Regrets

Author Name: MythX
Author e-mail: k3nny@paradise.net.nz
Category: Action/Adventure, Romance
Keywords: Harry/Hermione, Voldemort, death, love
Spoilers: All four
Rating: PG13
Summary: In a world plagued with Terrorism, Harry Potter triumphs over evil once again, but at a terrible price. He knew this moment would come, and is prepared to die to stop his enemy. Hermione Granger is in the middle of a content relationship with Ron Weasley, with just one regret: That she didn’t choose Harry. After what seems like Harry’s final act, is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Will he come back, smashing the wizard world’s philosophy about death? Will Hermione ever get to tell Harry how much he means to her?
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers include but are not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

 Chapter 5:

Life soon settled back into its normal gist at Hogwarts, but it soon became apparent that Harry was wasting his time – he was more powerful than the teachers, and knew magic far beyond the levels an ordinary wizard is expected to know in his lifetime, let alone required to pass the NEWTs. The fact that Harry had been this powerful before, but had been hiding it, was a big surprise to everyone. He was given special permission by Dumbledore to attend classes as he pleased so that he could make a full recovery before his Order of Merlin Ceremony.

Harry ended up attending most classes anyway – which Hermione was extremely thankful for, and insisted on telling him so every chance she got. Deep down, Hermione didn’t want to be left friendless, as her break-up with Ron had turned Ron rather bitter towards her. Still, Harry maintained a friendship with both of them, but Hermione could only compare Harry and Ron’s friendship to trying to balance on a seesaw – Ron seemed to believe Harry was responsible for Hermione breaking up their relationship.

One Friday afternoon, three weeks before Christmas, Hermione was sitting in the common room, when Harry approached to continue what was becoming even more of a challenge to him Voldemort. Trying to get Ron and Hermione back together. Hermione knew that he tried and tried, but always had no luck. Ron claimed that ‘Hermione had ended it, she can apologize’, and Hermione had insisted that ‘it was over’.

Despite all that he had on his plate, he still wouldn’t relent from his task of trying to make his friends happy. Hermione knew that he felt responsible for it, and, although Hermione wouldn’t tell him so, he was. If Harry didn’t exist, Hermione would probably be sitting in Ron’s arms right now, but she wasn’t. Why? Because she knew there were better arms, and they belonged to Harry Potter.

Hermione knew that Harry longed to see her happy, and he didn’t let his personal feelings clot his emotions. She still remembered a promise she had made Harry’s dead body – to give him the friendship and love she had kept from him. There was one thing Hermione knew to keep, and that was a promise made to the dead.

“Hermione, please make up with Ron! You know how much I hate seeing you two unhappy.” Harry said with a genuinely sad face, and a raspy voice – He had just returned from Quidditch practice, no doubt.

Hermione gave him a firm hug – a greeting that she had given him every time she saw him since his recovery – and she treated every hug like it would be their last.

Hermione sighed, “Harry, you know I don’t want to, please respect my wishes.”

And that was how most conversations on the topic of Ron usually ended, as Harry certainly did respect her wishes.

Hermione was also pleased to have a very interesting chat with Harry about a week later – with just two weeks to go before the Ceremony.

“So, all ready for the big day?” Hermione asked, smirking at Harry as he lay down on the couch, finally having managed to weasel his way out of talking with the younger students of Gryffindor.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he said, sighing and leaning back to let his back mould into the comfortable common room chair.

“You realise you’re the youngest person to every receive the award? And the second person in history to ever receive it?”

Harry groaned. The thought clearly hadn’t crossed his mind.

“Being such as prestigious award, you no doubt have to say a speech?” Hermione asked, expecting to catch him out again.

She was to be disappointed though, as he nodded, and tapped his head, “I’ve got it all planned out. I’ll just make sure there isn’t anything I’ve overlooked. I’m off to see Dumbledore.”

Harry then disappeared – something Hermione had never really got used to, as he apparated around the school at his leisure.

He then reappeared looking rather horror-stricken. “I’ve got to take a date. Why can’t wizards that save the world be single?” He said, still cringing at the thought.

Hermione’s heart gave a leap, but she decided to play it cool, and snickered, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say Mr ‘Save the world’ is scared of asking a girl to a dance.”

Harry glared at her, “It wasn’t in my job description,” he said lamely, looking as though he would rather die than ask a girl to attend with him.

“Everyone knew that there would be a dance. Why did someone forget to tell me about this?” Harry asked Hermione pointedly.

“Don’t you turn this around on me, buster! Your stuck with it.”

Harry still looked as though he had sampled Snape’s Christmas pudding, but chose not to reply.

Suddenly, Harry’s eyes begun to sparkle like Dumbledore’s, did. Hermione, who had always wished that she could do that, decided it must be a powerful-wizard thing.

“Well at least you could make up with Ron and asking him to go with you…” Harry said pleadingly, trailing off.

“Harry,” Hermione warned, “I don’t want to go with him and you know it. Anyway, Ron’s bound to have asked Lavender by now, so please drop it.”

Harry’s twinkle dimmed considerably.

“Would you like to go with me?” Harry asked hopefully, causing Hermione’s heart to leap, before reluctantly adding “As friends of course. After all that you did for me while I was, err, dead, I want this to be my way of saying thank you,” Hermione blushed, she didn’t know that Harry was aware of how much time she had spent with him.

Harry caught sight of the blush, and added, “You don’t think I would miss that would you? I can remember you being there while I was conscious, and Madame Pomfrey was happy to tell me that you were there in every moment of your spare time while I was dead.”

Hermione was still disappointed, she had been hoping that Harry would ask her to go as more than friends, she couldn’t lie to herself anymore – she felt exactly the same way about him as he had two years ago, but she couldn’t help but worry that he no longer returned her feelings.

Harry misread her silence, and said, with a quaver in his voice,  “You don’t have to of course. I didn’t mean to offend you, Hermione”.

“Harry, you great dolt, of course I’ll go with you!” Hermione replied, with a grin.

***************

The ceremony in which Harry would receive his Order of Merlin 1st class award had finally approached. The Great hall had been magically expanded to fit an enormous crowd, and not a single student had gone away for the holidays. Seeing an award of this nature being awarded was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and, much to Harry’s disappointment, the event was to be the most publicized in magical history. Being in the middle of winter, the outside air was chilly, and snow had coated the Hogwarts grounds, giving Hogwarts a warm and fluffy look. But even the weather seemed to be paying respect to Harry, as it didn’t show any signs of storms, and the arrival of the many guests went smoothly.

Dumbledore stood in the grand foyer ushering the thousands of local and international guests into the Great Hall – many that he had not seen himself since he was awarded the Order of Merlin, all those years before. It was an internationally recognized award, one that was awarded all over the world. Guests came from far and wide to represent their ministries. All ministries throughout the world had to give their consent if the Order of Merlin 1st class was to be awarded, and because of this, Harry was only the 2nd person ever to receive it. There were many different levels, but none as important as this one.

On the stage were 15 comfortable seats, where the various Ministers of Magic were to be seated. These 15 people were the most powerful people in the world – they had control of their various countries or continents. Security for the event was through the roof, but no one was ever really aware of the location of Hogwarts anyway, so it was the ideal place to hold the event.

On the stage there was also two more seats, separated slightly aware from the rest. This, Hermione supposed, was where Harry and Dumbledore would be seated.

For dinner, the great hall had been set up with hundreds of round tables, with 6 chairs placed around each. Small tags had be been placed on the table in front of every seat with the name of the person who was to sit there. At the door Students ushered the guests towards their seats.

A main table had been erected down in front of the stage. It looked far more prestigious that it normally did at school dinners. It was long, and could seat about 50 people. The various Ministers of Magic were placed at this table, along with Harry, Dumbledore, various other highly prestigious people, and people that Harry had invited. Naturally, this meant that the entire Weasley family was sitting there, and so was Harry’s date Hermione.

Once everyone had finally been seated dinner begun, and Harry found himself without the chance to speak with to the Weasleys or Hermione, as the various Ministers and other important guests had kept him in conversation the whole time. He had given a particularly large number of ‘sorry’ glances to Hermione, but she had been fine with it, and talked happily with Ginny and Dumbledore the whole time. Mr Weasley seemed to be getting on just fine with the various other guests, and Mrs Weasley was in a nice conversation with some of the wives. The ministers had all been very nice and kind in their conversations, and had treated him with a great deal of respect. Harry had been thankful that they didn’t push him around like a child, and he had even enjoyed some of the conversation.

The topics ranged from dark arts to Quidditch, and Harry found that he had been offered a place in basically every national Quidditch side present, not to mention jobs in all of the ministries. He had kindly said he would think about it.

“Surely you must of thought about your future though, Harry?” The Bulgarian Minister of Magic had prompted.

“Well, leading up to my encounter with Voldemort-“ Much to Harry’s anger, they all flinched, “I had my future made up, but since then, everything has changed.”

“Ahh,” said Fudge wisely, who still happened to be the Minister of Magic for the continent, “always planning on Quidditch were you? Now you’re thinking about something to use your power?”

 “No…” Harry replied kindly, “Before that evening, I had thought I was going to die.”

A silence fell over their conversation as the ministers realized what he was getting at. Harry finally had the chance to join the conversation with the Weasleys, but Dumbledore called an end to dinner at that very moment.

The Ministers, Dumbledore and Harry soon made their way up onto the stage. Dumbledore stood at the podium that had been erected, and invited Hermione up onto the stage to sit in the vacant chair next to Harry.

Hermione stared in awe at the thousands of people looking at them on the stage. Harry looked completely oblivious. Not a nerve showing on his face.

Professor Dumbledore soon begun with his introduction, speaking into the microphone that had been placed on top of the podium, beaming at the audience.

“Welcome, everyone, to this marvelous occasion. I never thought I would be given the honour of presenting an Order of Merlin 1st class in my lifetime, but I believe that this award today couldn’t be more deserved. I had never seen an act of such courage before I saw Harry Potter embrace death in the name of saving the lives of others, and bring the downfall of the Dark Lord.

“Personally, I can say that Harry sacrificing himself was my biggest fear leading up to that occasion, as I saw him risk his life in the name of others on many occasions throughout his earlier years at Hogwarts. Saving the Philosopher’s Stone, and finding, entering, and destroying the Basilisk that inhabited the Chamber of secrets – which saved a student’s live and stopped school closure, are two of his accomplishments from his first and second years alone.”

His speech then went on to outline more of Harry’s time at Hogwarts. Hermione chanced a sideways glance at Harry during the speech, and saw that his face was calm and composed, as though he was being read a fairy tale. She knew that he didn’t like the overwhelming attention, but he bore with it.

“Without further ado, I would like to present Mr Harry Potter with the Order of Merlin first class.”

The Thousands in attendance stood and clapped as Harry shook hands with each and every Minister of Magic, and finally Dumbledore. The applause went on much, much longer, as he stood there, surveying the crowd. Millions of wizards at home were listening to this very broadcast as well, as it went live around the world. In neighboring countries, today had been a holiday, so that people could sit at home and listen to it on the radio, or watch it through their fireplaces.

Hermione felt proud of Harry as he stood there with a calm, kind and thankful expression on his face. She was not just proud of what he had achieved, but of how composed he was able to keep himself. It was one of the many qualities she had admired in Harry at a young age, and a quality that was very rare. Harry turned to her, amidst the strong applause, and gave a small nod in recognition. Hermione, who was still very scared as she looked out into the faces of thousands, gave him a small nod in return.

Harry soon raised a hand to silence the crowd, as it appeared that the applauding would go on all night if he didn’t. The clapping sound slowly died down, until it was silence fell as people watched the young wizard in center stage.

“I’m sure you are all used to far wiser wizards and witches accepting such a prestigious award, so for my lack of wisdom, I apologize in advance.” Harry begun.

“I have been asked, by many people, why I did what I did. What drove a person to give his own life for the lives of others? And I answer this question very simply. When I was a boy, I lived with an Aunt and Uncle who insisted that I was the lowest of the low. They told me I would never become anything. That could very well have been true, had it not been for the enchanting magical community.”

Many people were either crying or looking scandalized at what they had been told about Harry’s upbringing. Hermione felt the same way. How could someone with such a pure heart be told such horrible thing.

 “I do not always have fond memories of the wizarding world, but I can assure you, that the memories all have special qualities to them. I would never trade them for anything, because of the uniqueness that they each have. Two of what I would consider special qualities in my life, are my best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. Without them, my life would be a very boring and unattractive thing. Without them, I could go as far as saying my life wouldn’t be worth living.

“So in answer to the question that so many have asked, why did I do it? I did it because I felt it was my turn to give something to the magical world, and I felt compelled to secure the future of my friends. Better one person die than thousands or millions of others.”

Harry had to move a tear out of his eye when he finished that, and so did most people in the audience. It certainly had been a night full of surprises.

“I would like to think that my own sacrifice – however unsuccessful the actual sacrificial part may have been, can influence people’s choices between good and evil. When I fought with Voldemort in my first year, he told me something that made me think. ‘There is no such thing as good and evil, just power and those who wish to seek it’. This of course is not true, but it got me thinking. The line between good and evil has not been drawn. Good and Evil, are ultimately decided by us at the end of the day. So I urge all of you to think of the consequences of every one of your actions before you make them. Think of what you are doing: Is it good, or is it bad? Are you doing something that you shouldn’t be doing? – If everyone did this, then the world really can move forwards after the times of Voldemort. There is one thing that I hate more than someone who has chosen to live a life of evil, and that is an evil person who could have been a good person. Thank you all.”

Amongst a thundering applause, he then walked over and sat down by Hermione, who squeezed his hand reassuringly and kissed him on the cheek.

When the applause had finally died down – some 5 minutes later, Dumbledore asked everyone to stand, and then clicked his fingers, and the tables all disappeared. Around the edge of the room now stood tables and chairs for people to sit at, but the main focus was to be the dance that would take place.

Harry was asked to lead it, which he did uncertainly, but found Hermione to be a very talented dancer. She held him firmly and tightly, and they danced happily to the wonderful music. The evening had gone well. Hermione really wished she had some idea of Harry’s feelings for her, because after this evening, she was struggling to hold herself back from kissing him like there was no tomorrow. She felt proud of Harry, and could honestly say that she had fallen in love with him.

Hermione had never thought someone would ever give their own life for her, but Harry had, without hesitation.

Hermione watched Harry very carefully, and she could still feel all eyes on her as they danced the opening song. Before long though, she found herself entranced in his eyes, and found that Harry seemed equally as captured with hers. She could see deep into his emerald green eyes, and they seemed to go on forever. All she could make out was her face reflecting straight back.

The two neared, and two entities merged into one. A kiss that had been years in the making finally took place, and thousands of people were there to witness it. Hermione pulled Harry closer, willing him to share her body. Hermione didn’t have to ask Harry any questions. The kiss answered them all.