Title: Fading Regrets

Author Name: MythX
Author e-mail: k3nny@paradise.net.nz
Category: Action/Adventure, Romance
Keywords: Harry/Hermione, Voldemort, death, love
Spoilers: All four
Rating: PG13
Summary: In a world plagued with Terrorism, Harry Potter triumphs over evil once again, but at a terrible price. He knew this moment would come, and is prepared to die to stop his enemy. Hermione Granger is in the middle of a content relationship with Ron Weasley, with just one regret: That she didn’t choose Harry. After what seems like Harry’s final act, is there any light at the end of the tunnel? Will he come back, smashing the wizard world’s philosophy about death? Will Hermione ever get to tell Harry how much he means to her?
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by J.K. Rowling, various publishers include but are not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Chapter 2: 

After the summer from hell Hermione Granger was finally returning to Hogwarts. This was a day she had been dreading since that fateful day at the end of last term. Today was the day she would pay her last respects to Harry Potter. Her parents had asked her if it was her friend Harry Potter that had stopped the terrorist attacks – apparently the muggle Television stations had been informed. Hermione had run out of the room crying, and her parents had pursued her, and eventually discovered what had happened. Her mother had cried with her when she told her about him.

Her holiday had been a time of reflection. Anything in her life that was worth remembering involved Harry – his smiling face was the warmth in every dark moment. All her adventures had always focused around him. The time she spent with Ron suddenly looked boring, even wasted in comparison.

The thought that struck her most painfully was actually the truth. Harry had never known much love – certainly the Dursley household had never shown him an overwhelming amount. The only love his life ever saw was the love he received when he was in the wizardry world. It was this, Hermione realised, which made him use everything he had – every little glitter of power. He gave his life for what he considered his family – the people who cared about him. Hermione had loved him so dearly that she had thought that starting a relationship would destroy that love. How stupid she had been. Over the past 2 years she doubted Harry saw any love at all. He certainly had not been around her or Ron – they had been too busy with each other to notice. Harry had been on the edge, by himself. Hermione hadn’t given his welfare a second thought – she had been deliberately pushing all thoughts of Harry out of her head so that she could focus on Ron.

As she walked up the grand steps of Hogwarts she, like so many others, had tears forming in her eyes. The one thing that stopped her from breaking down was the thought of Harry saying, “Don’t cry. I don’t have any regrets.” She may not have known him well around the time that he died, but she had the odd conversation now and then, and she knew that this was exactly what he would say. Whenever he had seen her he had asked her how she and Ron were going. She knew he cared about him. Ron knew as well. If he hurt her, Harry would kill him.

Harry had respected her decision to be with Ron – he had taken the rejection in his stride - just as he took death.

What shocked Hermione most was that Harry didn’t hesitate at all during that battle – he knew he would die, but he was prepared to embrace it when it happened. He hadn’t been in the wrong place at the wrong time when a curse came his way. No, he chose to give his life, and he did it with as much hesitation as one may have in choosing whether to breathe or not.

Hermione walked into the great hall to a very sober hall, exactly the way she had left it the year before. The sacrifice was fresh on everyone’s mind – and the trauma was still not relenting. Everybody present knew that his or her life would have met an abrupt ending had it not been for Harry’s intervening.

Dumbledore stood to address the students. It appeared a faint twinkle was in his eyes, and a small smile crept onto his lips.

“Students, I’m sure the incident at the conclusion of last term is still very fresh in all your minds, and I am certain you all are feeling in the debt of Harry Potter” He paused, surveying them. “I don’t want to get anybody’s’ hopes high, but Mr Potter has fiant traces of his magical energy returning. The chances of his recovery are, well… I don’t know what to make of his chances. Textbook wise, there should be no chance of him recovering, but I certainly wouldn’t write him off. No one has ever recovered from doing what he did – but then again, no one has ever successfully done that before, so I don’t know what to make of it. No magic can cure his injuries, and it is certain that if he does make a return, he will be in a very bad condition. All that I ask, is that you keep Mr Potter’s recovery on your mind.”

A stunned silence fell over the Great Hall. Without warning, a Slytherin student begun to start a slow, constant clap. Others soon joined in, before a deafening clapping sound filled the hall. This show of support showed just how unified the school was on this one issue. If Harry were here he would be angry at the attention – but he would be very proud of the school for standing united on something – even the Slytherins.

****************

It was three days after that opening feast, and Hermione found herself in the Hogwarts Infirmary yet again. She had settled into a pattern – in every spare moment of her time she came and sat next to the limp figure of Harry Potter. He didn’t talk, he didn’t move, he didn’t even breathe, but despite all this, Madame Pomfrey said that he was doing jus fine.

Hermione had her doubts, but she did not voice her opinion. In fact, she sat at his side and held his hand, cooing gently to him. All that had to happen was for magic in Harry’s veins to return – that was what Dumbledore said. No one really had any idea what was going to happen of course, no one had ever managed to void him or herself of all magic before. The startling fact was that Harry’s magic was returning, out of nothing. It was like someone was pouring it into his veins again. Even if his magic returned, there was the small problem of his heart not beating. Apparently though, the returning magic should restore his beat – since there was technically nothing wrong with him at all.

At that moment he was totally and utterly dead, and his comeback would totally and utterly revolutionise the way wizards look at death – more attention that he no doubt would not want.

Still, it was hope, and that was the one thing that Hermione Granger needed. Ron had only been to see Harry once, and that was to ‘pay his last respects’ as he called it. He honestly believed Harry was gone for good. Hermione would not give up so easily though. She knew that if anyone were going to defy the laws of magic, it would be Harry. Coming out of her trance-like state, she tightened her grip on his cold hand and studied his face. Magic, thought unable to help him, was able to stop the degrading of a corpse. He looked just as he did on the fateful moment. A moment she remembered in far more detail that she would like.

Harry was, on paper, still the head boy of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. No one was going to deduct the name from him when there was still the possibility that he would pull through.

Some seven days later, Harry’s physical state had not changed, but beyond the skin his magical power was still regrouping. Hermione was at his side, having ran the whole way from Potions with her usual determination.

While she whispered gently to him reassuring things, someone else chose that moment to visit. Security on Harry was very tight – students that had not known him were only allowed to visit once a week if they chose at a certain time. It was not that time now.

Hermione turned to see who had arrived, to reveal the face of Ronald Weasley. Hermione almost had to strain her mind to remember him – she had spent so much time with Harry that so much as talking to her boyfriend of two years had been a rare occurrence indeed.

“Hermione?” Ron asked, getting her attention.

“What is it Ron?” She said, sounding agitated at being interrupted.

“You have to let him go. He’s gone now. I mean its not like he’s me or something. You weren’t even that close to him before it happened.”

Hermione looked at him with a very powerful scowl. She was shocked that he could say something so heartless about his best friend.

“I deserve to see you more,” He bravely continued. “You’re my girlfriend, remember?”

“I’m not giving up on him! He is and always will be my best friend – he wouldn’t give up on me,” She said defiantly, before adding “And I don’t care if this time is wasted. I love him.”

Ron was outraged at this – to him it was a simple decision, all she had to do was let him go. He decided to change tact.

“I hate to do this Hermione, but its me or him – he’s taking up too much of your time. It doesn’t leave any time for me.” Ron said, feeling that this would clinch it – she would submit.

Hermione couldn’t believe what she was hearing. How could he be so insensitive? Is this the person I have loved for the last two years, she asked herself? And how unfair was this question – she was being asked to choose between someone on their deathbed, and her boyfriend. To the ordinary person this may seem like an easy question to answer – but not to Hermione. But, she found that the answer was surprisingly simple: Ron did nothing but take, yet Harry gave his life.

“Well I guess this is goodbye then Ron. It was good while it lasted.” Hermione said softly.

Ron’s posture changed very abruptly. His eyes were suddenly wide, his shoulder’s dropped, and he bought a hand to his face. It could be easily said that Ron had not been expecting that answer.

“No no, Hermione, I didn’t mean it… I was just joking!” He said, trying to mend the situation. He had been intending to propose at the end of the school year, and everyone had expected it.

Hermione would have none of this, however. She had made her mind up. She was through with Ron and his high expectations of her. Harry had always cared for her – he had definitely proved that. She knew that Ron would at least hesitate before saving her life, let alone knowing that he would die in the process.

Ron walked out very angrily muttering darkly “She didn’t mean that, she didn’t mean that”. But, as Hermione was only too happy to confirm in the days and weeks that followed, she certainly did mean that.