Chapter 1: Emotionally Confused

It was the first of September. Harry Potter was sitting so quietly in the back of the Hogwarts express, in an empty compartment, absentmindedly staring out of the big glass window. Although his apperence had changed over the summer, he was still the same old Harry. His pale skin had tanned over the summer, from all those long days spent laboring in the sun out in the garden. His hair was still as messy as ever, but it seemed to stand up a bit more today. Those brilliant bottle green eyes were still the same, but with more depth, having seen more then their share, and finally his lightning bolt scar...

"Ah, good old scar!" Harry thought to himself, running his fingertips blindly over his forehead. He was sixteen , but he didn't feel it...

The compartment door opened suddenly, jerking Harry quickly out of his thoughts. He looked up to see none other then...

"Hermione!" He said aloud, standing up and embracing her.

"Hey Harry!" She smiled, slightly shocked at his enthusiasm, kissing him softly on the cheek. But this time something happened that had never happened before.

"Harry's blushing!" She thought, feeling his cheek get hotter under her lips. She quickly pulled away, feeling slightly embarrassed herself.

"So, how are you?" Harry stumbled over the words, looking long and hard into Hermione's deep brown eyes, which shone in the dim-lit compartment. "God, she's beautiful," he thought, sighing deeply.

Hermione began to get worried, but then relaxed, looking at his blazing green eyes.

"What's wrong with me?" Harry suddenly thought, snapping out of a trance. His gaze went from loving to friendly. "Did you have a good summer?" He asked her, not voicing how he really felt.

"I had a wonderful summer, I went to Paris!" She said enthusiastically. "So much history, so much beautiful scenery!" Hermione continued with her story, giving Harry details of just what she did in Paris.

Harry tuned her out slightly, his thoughts running wild. She's your FRIEND Harry! Pull yourself together! But he couldn't, it was too hard! He found himself staring at her every chance he got.

Ron arrived, sliding open the door to a silently worried Hermione and a dazed Harry.

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late... Ginny blamed me for losing her favorite pair of earrings, how silly is that!?! I don't even wear earrings!” He went on with his story, sitting down next to Harry, who made no sign of recognition towards him.

“I’m talking to a bloody brick wall!” Ron sighed, while tapping Harry’s shoulder quite hard.

“Ouch! What was that for?!” Harry turned to Ron, slightly surprised, for he hadn’t quite noticed him come in.

“Oh, don’t mind me, I’ve only been talking to you for the last TEN minutes!” Ron said, slightly annoyed, as his ears turned a light shade of red.

“Harry, are you okay?” Hermione hummed, looking up at him with her brilliant glassy eyes.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine...” He trailed off, knowing Hermione wouldn’t believe him, considering how clever she was, and how well she knew him.

But she let it go, and stared out of the window. Her new favorite past-time, apart from looking into Harry’s eyes. “He’s so tall, and handsome.” She thought, smiling to herself. “Wait... What am I thinking?”

The rest of the train ride was uneventful. Ron talked the most, for Harry and Hermione kept getting half way through a sentence, then suddenly going silent. They got off the train at Hogsmeade Station, Ron and Hermione helping Hagrid call the first years.

It was their sixth year at Hogwarts and Harry had a feeling that he wouldn’t have time for anything but quidditch and homework. Harry met up with Ron and Hermione at the carriages.

"Um, I’m going to get a carriage with Seamus and Dean! See you there!” Ron ran off before Harry and Hermione could protest.

“Um, shall we take this one then?” Harry asked her in a very posh accent, offering her his hand to help her up. She giggled and took his hand, hopping up into the carriage.

“So, um, how are you and Krum?” Said Harry, once they were both inside.

“Oh, he's nice but we’re just friends,” her face began to turn scarlet.

“Really?” Harry raised his eyebrow in a sarcastic way, making Hermione giggle again.

“It’s true! We’re friends.”

“Who do you like then?”

She wanted to say "You," so bad, but settled on a different answer. “Um, if I told you, you would laugh!” she gave a relieved sigh.

"Hmmm, can I guess?” Said Harry, not having the faintest clue.

"Sure...” Hermione got slightly worried.

“Okay, what’s the first letter of his name?” Harry was dying to know.

“H,” Hermione tensed... “Was that too much of a give a way?” She asked herself in her head.

“Um, Harold Limmen? Henry Williams? Oh this is hard! What year is he in?” Harry said, not willing to guess every guy with the letter ‘H’ in his name.

“He's in our year," she blushed a deeper red. "In our house."

"A Gryffindor, eh?" Harry smiled as he made Hermione giggle, yet again. "Okay, um...M-m-m-me?" Harry stuttered.

Suddenly the door flung open. They had arrived.

"What did you say Harry?" Said Hermione, looking curiously puzzled.

"Oh nothing, tell you later," Harry couldn't even believe he let himself think, even for a second, that Hermione Granger would like him.

They went up the steps, side by side and through the beautiful, yet heavy, great oak doors. They came into the entrance hall and into another set of doors into the Great Hall.

"I want to see the sorting hat ceremony!" Said Ron popping up behind them, making them jump.

* * *

Harry got up the next morning, not remembering how he had gotten back up to Gryffindor tower after the feast, because he was so sleepy the night before. He yawned, stretched and pulled back the curtains on his four poster bed, the sun pouring through the window and blinding his already poor vision. Harry reached for his glasses, sliding them over his eyes. He immediately turned away from the window, everything coming into clearer focus.

After he dressed, he ran downstairs to find Hermione sitting in an armchair by the dead fire, looking at a small notebook.

"Oh! What's that!?" Said Harry slyly behind her.

Hermione jumped, she hadn't seen Harry coming. "Oh, nothing," she tried closing the book, but he was too quick for her. He grabbed it from her, dangling it over her head in triumph.

"It's a diary!" Harry gasped, now he could find out who she liked! He opened it, turning to a random page. "July the thirty-first, oh, my birthday!"

"Please Harry, don't!" Hermione warned, her face red from embaressment. For she had written about how much she really liked and missed Harry in that entry!

"Hmmm, blah, blah, blah, boring... Oh! Wait, here's something!" Harry read on, having spotted his name, when suddenly Hermione snatched it from him.

"Oh come on! That's not fair!" Harry whined, like a little five-year-old. He gave her a pleading look, one she almost couldn't ignore.

"I'm sorry Harry, but it's personal!" Hermione said, a relieved note in her voice.

Harry narrowed his eyes playfully at her, "I'll read it soon, don't you worry!" He chuckled, poking her in the shoulder softly.

"Oh, I'm not so sure about that!" Hermione laughed nervously, tucking the diary under her arm. "Give me a second, I just have to run this up my room and get my bag." She added, giving him a backwards glance and then jogging up the girl's staircase.

Harry watched her jog up the stairs and smiled stupidly at her. She was so beautiful, and she didn't even know it. Her carefree nature, and her kind ways, were so intriging to Harry.

In no time at all, Hermione was descending the stairs gracefully, watching Harry all the while, "Are you ready to go?"

Harry cleared his throat before he spoke, trying hard to think of something intelligent to say. "Yes, yes I am. Do you want me to carry those for you?" He offered to carry the books that wouldn't fit in her bag, as he slung his own over his shoulder.

"If-if you want," She stuttered, a small smile dancing across her face, "You look like you've got a lot to be carrying yourself, are you sure?" She asked, giving him a questioning look.

"Of course I'm sure!" He said smilingly, "Otherwise, I wouldn't be asking. Here..." He said, outstretching his hand, waiting for her to hand him her books. She did so, and both of them made their way out of the common room, in search for Ron.

* * *


They found Ron a few minutes later, and all of them headed down to their first class of the day, Transfiguration.

Today's lesson was really very appealing to Harry, he was too busy watching Hermione. The stroke of her quill, the way she held it in her hand. The bounce of her soft curls whenever she gracefully flipped them back over her shoulder, if they creeped too close to her line of vision. Oh how Harry longed to be the quill she held in her hand, or the book she was pouring over. He sat there, a dazed expression plastered over her face.

"Mr. Potter, what is the incantation used to change a wooden object into metal?" The question was shot in Harry's direction so fast that his head snapped in Professor McGonagall's direction, and his neck cracked in the process. Harry winced painfully as a dull 'pop' was heard, his hand connecting quickly with the back of his neck. He rubbed the spot soothingly, not losing his eye contact with McGonagall.

"I don't know, Professor," He croaked.

"Five points from Gryffindor for Potter's lack of attention!" But just then, Hermione's hand shot up in the air.

"Please, Professor, I know the answer," She said politely.

"Alright, I will give you a chance to regain your points. What is it?" Professor McGonagall said dully, looking at Hermione intently.

"The incantation used to change an wooden object into medal is, Meta Metolsa! This spell was usually used during a battle in the early eighteen-hundreds, to change a wooden sheild into a metal one strong enough to deflect most spells." Hermione recited as if she was reading it from the book.

"Well done Ms. Granger! Five points to Gryffindor for giving me the incantation, and five more for the background history!" McGonagall caught Hermione's eye and gave her one of those rare smiles before continuing with her lesson.

Harry grinned at Hermione, giving her a look of gratitude. "Thank you!" He mouthed in her direction.

"Your welcome," She mouthed back, turning back to her notes and continuing to take them down.

Once the lesson ended, Harry gathered his things and got up from the desk he shared with Ron. He slung his bag over his back and made his way for the door. Upon leaving the classroom, he felt a hand pull him back slightly by the shoulder. He turned around, and saw Ron standing behind him.

"Hey, Ron." Harry said cheerily, as they made their way down the stairs together.

"Harry?" Ron looked at him curiously, "I have a question..."

"Shoot."

"Do you like Hermione?" He asked.

Harry almost missed the last few steps on the staircase. Had he been that obvious? Was there something written across his forehead?

"Wha-what makes you think that?" He stuttered.

"It's extremely obvious, mate!" Ron said, slapping Harry on the back, "Anyway, you were staring at her pretty hard today, as if she had sprouted another head, or something. It was quite strange actually..." Ron trailed off, furrowing his brow.

"Was I that bad?" Harry looked quite shocked, he thought he had been pretty subtle about what was going on in his head.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Ron looked at him in slight sympathy.

Harry sighed in frustration, "What am I supposed to do, huh?! How do I tell her, how do I go about all of that? What if she doesn't feel the same?" Harry asked, looking back at Ron, as they made their way to Herbology.

"I don't know... But you've got to find a way to tell her, before it's too late! I heard Terry Boot bragging about how he was going to ask her out by the end of the week!" Ron said, warning in his eyes.

This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. He had until the end of the week to confess his feelings to her, because he couldn't even begin to imagine her spending the rest of her life - or at least the rest of her time at Hogwarts - with someone like Terry Boot.

* * *

       A week passed and still, Hermione was none the wiser about his feelings. She had turned Terry Boot down only a few days before, and because of this, Harry was glad.

The morning was quite uneventful, the trio had double classes of Herbology with the Hufflepuffs and then Potions with the Slytherins. Then of course, the bell rang, and the whole class of Gryffindors scrambled for the Great Hall in a big group.

The trio made their way to the Great Hall, as well, found an empty place along the Gryffindor table and sat down.

“Harry, can I talk to you for a moment, In the library? I need you to help me find a book,” Hermione said suddenly, grinning at her brilliant idea, and winking in Harry’s direction. Harry got the picture, rather quickly.

“Uh, yeah, let's go do that!” He trailed off, getting up suddenly. Hermione followed suit.

“But you guys just sat down! You haven’t had any lunch! I seriously doubt that Harry needs to help you find anything in the library, Hermione! You know the place better then he does! Wait --!” But it was no use, Ron sighed as he saw them walking across the great hall, through the doors and out of sight.

Ron continued eating his lunch, when he heard footsteps and felt a presence behind him. He looked up, his mouth full of food, which he swallowed quickly, feeling suddenly embarrassed. It was Parvati Patil standing behind him. He always kind of had a thing for her, and was too shy to admit it to anyone.

“Hey Ron! How are you?” She pointed to the vacant seat beside him, “Is this seat taken?”

Ron shook his head. “N-n-n-o,” he stuttered as he watched her sit down beside him.

“I was wondering Ron, if you could teach me how to fly? I think your very good and I want to try out for the Gryffindor quidditch team this year...” She trailed off, blushing slightly. Using an excuse like this was stupid, but it was what Padma had said to do. To be honest, her sister did have many guys chasing after her, so Parvati tried to follow her example as best she could.

“Um,” Ron couldn’t quite think of the proper words at that moment. He opened his mouth, his lips forming the words, but no sound came out.

“Huh?” Parvati looked bewildered, trying to lean towards him to possibly hear him better.

“I mean... Hem, hem... I would love to teach you!” He cleared his throat, blushing a deep red.

“Great,” she smiled broadly at his crimson face...

* * *

“Hemi - where?!” Harry was so helplessly lost. He had no idea of why she wanted to go to the library, they hadn’t gotten any homework, and surely she didn’t really want him to look for a book!

Down a row of bookcases, in between two more, down another corridor. The twists and turns blurred in Harry’s mind as Hermione had a firm grip on his hand, leading him through this maze of bookcases. Then finally, they stopped. They were between two dark and forgotten bookcases, on the other end of the library.

"I have him here, now how do I tell him?" She thought, biting down hard on her lip, her back turned to Harry.

This feeling was eating at her insides, and she had to tell him now, before it was too late.

Every time she looked at him, everything about him tempted her to do something about this feeling she had. His messy jet black hair, his glazed eyes. Even his lips were beckoning to her.

“Why did you bring me here, Hermione? What’s going on?” Harry said curiously. He had no idea why they had to be this deep in the library. “We won’t find what your looking for this far out,” Harry added absolutely puzzled. He was becoming quite nervous, being completely alone with her.

“He looks so cute when he's clueless!” She thought, dreamily gazing at him. "Harry, there's something I have to tell you..." she trailed off, not know quite how to put her thoughts into words.

“Okay, tell me.” Harry shrugged, the curious look lingering on his handsome face.

"I don't know if there's any easy way to say this." Hermione gulped. "But - I..."

"Come on, Hermione. You can tell me, spit it out."

"Harry," Hermione paused, taking a deep breath. "I like you."

“I like you too...” Said Harry, trailing off, still looking slightly puzzled. Harry had already known this, this wasn't much of a shock. Of course she liked him as a friend, otherwise, they wouldn't be friends in the first place. This really was diminishing his courage to tell her how he felt. Had she really come all the way down there to tell him that?

“No Harry!” She moaned softly, in slight frustration, turning around and slowly walking towards him. “I really, really like you...” She trailed off, giving him this passionate look. She stared deep into his brilliant green eyes, that seemed to trap the essence of confusion behind their glassy walls.

“Er - Um,” Harry didn’t know what to say. He was completely put on the spot. Hermione was much too close now, he was being backed into the bookcase. She had a kind of hungry glint in her eye.

Harry had never seen her like this. It made him slightly nervous and passionate at the same time. He wanted to reach his hand out and touch her, but at the same time he wanted to stay withdrawn from her. His mind was going absolutely crazy, as his thoughts blended into one, 'Kiss her, damnit!' his head screamed.

Without thinking, he leaned in and did the only thing his body would allow him to do: he kissed, passionately. But she was prepared for this, and instead of pulling back she egged him on, kissing him deeply and letting her tongue explore the inside of his mouth.

Harry was taken aback by her passion. He gave in so completely, so willingly to this feeling. They spent hours there, making out in between two bookcases.

After awhile of tiring themselves out, they began to reminisce.

"Remember the time in third year when you slapped Draco?" he said laughingly, kissing the tip of her nose. "I don't think anyone expected you to do that!"

They were sitting on the ground now, Hermione sitting turned towards Harry, and holding onto him around the waist.

"I didn't really plan to do that myself... It just happened! How can anyone possibly be that infuriating?!" She asked, screwing up her petite face in anger.

Harry chuckled at her, "I don't know, maybe we'll have to ask him sometime!" He joked.

"I must say, out of everything that happened, I will never forget the look of triumph on your face!" Hermione hit him playfully on the arm.

"Remember the scared look on his?" They paused, looking at eachother, then burst into identical fits of laughter.

Was this what it felt like to spend time with a beautiful girl, and not feel awkward? If so, Harry could definately get used to this...

* * *

Harry and Hermione returned to the common room hours later. They looked messy and dazed. Harry had cherry-flavoured lipgloss on his neck, lips and cheeks, and he had mascara near his eye. Hermione had messy hair, ruffled clothes and smelled of Harry's colonge. They came through the portrait hole laughing loudly, for everyone to hear.

"Harry! Stop!" Hermione said through giggles. Harry was tickling her around the middle.

"Hmmm, NO!" Harry said, tickling her faster, making her shriek with laughter, even more.

Harry had a sudden idea, "Do you want to get some dinner?" Harry asked, letting go over her as they sat down on the couch.

"No, unless you really want to?" Hermione gave him a pleading look as if she wanted him to stay with her.

Despite the grumbling of Harry's stomach, he told her he would stay, seeing the the look in her eyes. She smiled up at him, embracing him tightly as if she never wanted to let him go.

Harry sat down in the armchair near the fire, patting his lap as indication for Hermione to sit there. She sat down on his lap, giggling giddily.

"Santa?" She mimicked a toddlers voice, "I wanna pony, and a bike, and, and..." She kissed his forehead.

"How about me instead?" Harry's sly smile spread across his face.

"Oh, and a Harry Potter! I have to have one of those!" She smiled at him, catching onto the joke.

"Hemione, does this mean we're going out now? You know like boyfriend and girlfriend?" He looked up at her, a new light in his eyes.

She could see that he wanted her so, just by one glance. It was breath taking, and she almost couldn't reply.

"No." She said simply, trying to keep a straight face.

"No?" Harry's face fell slightly.

"I'm kidding!" She burst into giggles as Harry smiled broadly. She loved everything about him. His jet black hair, his breath taking eyes, his wonderful smile. Hermione Granger sighed, knowing that out of all of the decisions she had made in her life that she was unsure of, this definately was the right one.

* * *