Epilogue: Blissful Ignorance

She never really did find out what happened to her, though for a long time she read every spell book she could get her hands on, going so far as skiving off classes and sleep in her pursuit of the truth. Fortunately, he was there to stop her before she destroyed herself. He made it his personal mission to ensure that every bit of homework was completed each night, and she made it to each and every class on time. I still don’t know how he managed to do it all, especially with her fighting him the entire way. I guess it just goes to show that he’s a stronger person than I am- when it comes to her, anyway.

There are still times when it hits her, whatever it is. She’s never actually told me as much, but it isn’t hard to figure out, even for someone as simple as yours truly. She gets this look in her eye- this dazed, lost sort of look one sees on a young child when they become separated from their parents at the zoo- and then he’s by her side in an instant. Talking softly and rubbing her back in slow circles as she leans into him, he’s there for her, there to chase whatever it is away. They always disappear then, retreating to a private world that no one can hinder or spoil.

Tonight they’re just relaxing, right beside me, watching the fire burn in our cozy two bedroom flat. She’s laying in his lap, curled up like a kitten, a peaceful smile on her face. He’s watching her sleep as he strokes her hair, his eyes so grateful to have such a treasure. I think it’s what he’s been waiting for, all these years. I think it’s exactly what he’s needed.

He never told me what happened between him and, well, you know (after all these years, there are some of us who still haven’t found the courage to say his name) that night, and I doubt he ever will. I’m sort of glad in a sense, because he came back changed that day. His eyes have been a bit colder ever since; Merlin knows he’s never looked at me the same again. I don’t think he’s told her, either, however- she watches him sometimes, just sits and watches, and all I can think is that she’s waiting for something, anything, to come out.

Blimey, maybe he has – told her, that is – but I feel a bit more satisfied thinking he hasn’t.  I am his best friend, after all. You’d think he’d confide in me, wouldn’t you?

In case you’re wondering, You-Know-Who didn’t die that night. I don’t know exactly what transpired, but he disappeared for a long, long time. In the end it was us who found him, cowering in a cave with his supporters. A team of Aurors surrounded the cave, but only one man walked in. When it was finished, after a brilliant light show and intolerable screams, only one man walked out. Can you guess who it was? Well, I’ll give you a hint: he’s sitting by the fireplace, not an arms length away from me, the love of his life resting contently in his lap.

It’s funny, but we always thought it would come down to the three of us in that final battle. She and I ended up watching from the sidelines. I’m sort of relieved, though. Later, when they carried the bodies out one by one, the white sheet covering Antonin Dolohov’s body slipped off; I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as horrifying as the look that was permanently etched on his face- the last look he’d ever wear.

I’m staring at them again; I hope he doesn’t notice. Sometimes I think he does, and just lets me stare because he knows I’d never do anything to hurt what they have. His eyes flicker for a second in my direction, before returning to watch her chest rise and fall as she lies there, her arms wrapped around one of his legs. She looks so safe, so calm. He’s a much stronger man than I; I’m glad she has someone like him to protect her.

And as for me? There never was any spell, just more of You-Know-Who’s trickery. He took advantage of the way I felt for her to get to my best mate. If there was one- a spell- then it is just as strong today as it was the first day it hit me, and it must have been she who cast it- for I’ve been under that same spell since the first day I met her.

I just handle myself better now.

I’ve always loved her. Watching her fall into the hands of another has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Did you expect me to react any differently? Did you expect me to hoot and holler and give them a sending off party? That’s just not my way. I’ve never been very good with these ‘emotions’ things, after all.

Thinking back on it, I know it’s for the best. They complete each other in a way I could never hope to. It’s amazing, really, how with just a simple word or a touch of the hand they can comfort each other so well. I’ll never tell them, either – how I feel. Just as they’ve allowed me this blissful ignorance I’ll always hide this little monster that lurks inside of me. They deserve to be happy, and that’s why I watch over them so carefully.

If I can’t have her, I’ll protect what she has, even if it means my sanity.

I still have that piece of scrap parchment- the one that caused such a commotion between us. It’s tucked neatly away, underneath my unmentionables, where I know it’s perfectly safe. Neither one of them is daft enough to rifle through that particular drawer, I’ll assure you. I pull it out and read it sometimes, wondering when the bloody hell he might tell me what it means – or even if she’ll be the one to clue me in.

But then again, ignorance is bliss, I think, as I watch him brush a strand of hair away from her face, glowing gently from the firelight as she lay in his lap.

Isn’t it?