Although interesting at first, the two alternating story arcs get a bit confusing during the second part, when they run together. It is not clear at first if the scene away from the party where the two just talk is before the (first) sex scene or after. I would suggest one of these two solutions: either a sentence to link the meeting of the two 'couples' to the talk scene, or make a very clear statement like "after so many months" in the physical part at the end of said talk scene.

Apart from that I really like your story very much. Cheers!

This is making me grow to hate Ronmione!! Frankly, the two of them seem ridiculous together now that Harry and Hermione have been so superbly sexy with one another.

Awe now that was cute even adoreable I loved it. A great first fic especially starting off in R big up to you for that. Why can't the other story be this open or progressive.

Excellent little ficlet. I enjoy the passion, the romance, the confused feelings and of course, the brash idiocy of our favorite (ugh) redhead.

md

Come on there HAS to be more to this the confronatation the aftermath and how will they live on from it!

PLEEEEASE!

Well done. My heart ached at all the right places.

Very Nice....a tad bit confusing at first, but it was good. I guess there wouldn't be a story without Harry being clueless!! But, you just want to yell at him sometimes....to wake up and see what is right in front of him!!

The story was a good read. Really.

However the Hermione I know is good at reading Harry\'s mind. Even if she somehow wasn\'t that good and was being average gf, how come could she have not told the difference between the acting of being emotionally distant and being just nervous about something? I mean, she had to at least ask what was wrong with him more than once, right? And before she became very frustrated, wouldn\'t Harry want to explain to her properly before giving her up just like that especially when he thought he would propose her?

They\'re not strangers who fell in love at first sight on trips and were to elope. They have been best friends since forever before they were lovers. That\'s why I feel odd and tad bit unreal about their misunderstanding. Especially Harry\'s. I mean, she didn\'t say no to his proposal. She just said no to go to Sydney with him for, how long? six months. It was not like he was moving forever then she didn\'t flinch. Honestly, if my boyfriend left me because I didn\'t want to follow whereever he travel and then he went to sleep around degrading himself, I don\'t think I would trusted in his love and personality whether he was to propose or not. The misunderstanding wouldn\'t be just a misunderstanding. It would just be one of the signs that we just arn\'t meant to be. Cause it\'s very possible he would repeat that rather than have a conversation and try to explain whenever we fought and get each other wrong.

I liked it. It seem that the drama was breaking out. I'm glad that Harry and Hermione were together at the end though. I thought it was bad that they had to hide their relationship. It seem a different twist that Hermione would want to hide their relationship. Keep Writing.

This is a very good story I hope you write more stories about this paring or at lease a sequel

that was awesome for your first story. i could see the imagery perfectly in my mind, it was brilliant!!!

i really like this but i think you should expand on it more

we readers want to know what happens when H/Hr tell C/R about thier love!

really well done for your first run through fanfiction. it seems like you\'ve got loads of potential, look forward to seeing more material from you! hopefully soon

Congratulations Amy!

I told you, you had some talent that was definitely worth sharing and it looks like about everyone agrees. Don't let anyone discourage you from writing the characters you want to write!

I'm telling you, you have a future in writing and I'm positive people will love your work to come

Oliver

you got me there with the "I was going out of my bloody mind, trying to find a proper way to propose to you" thingy! that was sooo sweet.. yeah well, it was sweet for me.. heheh!