Harry85Signed | Chapter : 1 | Date : 08/06/08
Well, considering it's your first fic ever, it's not bad at all.   |
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Old ChuckUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 07/06/08
This is a clever idea but written in very stilted format. It seems that you are trying to use very formal English to clarify a concept which applies to a situation wherein... I mean that writing a short story should be fairly simple. Churchill said that the best understood writing is in simple declarative sentences. I must read more of your work to see how it grows with your skill.
Thank you, Old Chuck |
Author Feedback: I was trying to emulate an influence from Shakespeare in this story, that is, employ a style akin to his writing, even if it ended up being a really, really pale imitation...Churchill indeed said that, and he is right to an extent, but he is a politician...it's his job to be as curt as possible 
Thanks for reading and reviewing.  |
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Orli_LuvaSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 07/06/08
Ooh you said you were going to post this.... 
and it is not horrible!!honestly putting yourself down...
It was really sweet - i liked it 
Kind of hard to read though, seen as its all in one block, but never mind
Love Jo x x x
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Author Feedback: I did...it was a wonder I even found it.
I'm glad you liked it, but I'm still convinced this story is pure bullcrap.
Thanks for reviewing. |
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usha88Signed | Chapter : 1 | Date : 07/06/08
Well that was interesting. It was one big paragraph and sorta hard to read. Well, a very good start. |
Author Feedback: Umm, yeah, the paragraph issue has been brought up before...I intentionally haven't edited this story since I wrote it...this is the first draft.
Glad you like it, but it will remain a oneshot. |
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Wouldn't have noticed it was your first fic if you didn't point it out . You know how you said this was inspired by English class? I know that exact feeling |
Author Feedback: Hm, then you know what I'm talking about. 
I'm glad you liked the story. |
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Very well written. One of your better pieces. Though the fact that it is all one long paragraph is intimadating, and confussing. More than once I found myself reading the wrong line. If you could sperate it into several paragraphs that would be wonderful.
Great job. Keep up the good writing.
---Sirius |
Author Feedback: Wow, you actually like the story? I'd have never believed it...
This was the only draft I wrote, and it hasn't even been edited...
Still, I'm glad you enjoyed it. |
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