Harry's saying that he had only one girl that he comes even close to deserving is not exactly a compliment to Hermione. Saying that you *don't* deserve her but adore her anyway is a much better way of paying a compliment.

I would think a contented man would know that :-)

You are off to a great start with this challenge. I don't think it'll be that close to the other story as you have started down a completely different path. Great job.

OK, it looks like it will be safe enough to read then, knowing that you thought the whole Snape/Lily thing was wrong on so many levels.

Keeping Remus a turned lycan is fine. It still fits in. I would like to see how you explain why he is mutated and different from other lycans. Like why he is prematurely aging instead of regenerating and seeming to be young all the time and why he can't heal up minor cuts and slashes and why he has scars on his face when a 'typical' lycan would be able to 'fix' that minor skin problem w/in one night of regeneration or less.

It should be interesting to see that.

Excellent start to what promises to be a wonderful tale. Don't compare yourself to Harry85's story, you are head and shoulders above that author both in style and substance. The fact that you are concerned your story may be to similar says alot for you. I hate to disrepect others since this is all non-professional writing , but you have so much more promise . I really enjoy your stories keep it up...

I wasn't trying to guilt trip anything really. I just was saying I was trying to make a challenge that didn't have any of books 6 and 7 stuff in it. It is really hard to find fanfics w/o books 6 and 7 stuff in them and to have to pick out the stuff from them and toss it aside to get to the rest of what is left in a story is sorta like having to get the pickles off of a hamburger, which was ordered w/o pickles but they always mess the order up before eating it... gets kinda messy and frustrating sometimes. I was hoping for a nice clean book 6 and 7 free story so I would not end up with mustard and catsup all over my fingers...*smiles slightly* Really though, it is getting harder for me to sift through stories now. I've been over tired lately and sleep deprivation makes it so I don't have patience to do it so I've just started skipping fanfics that have book 6 and 7 on the headers or make mention to things of those books being in them to save time. I've been trying to stick to AU fanfics, Crossovers, Timetravel ones that are safe *some aren't* and old stories that only have books 1 to 5 on the headers.

Bill and Fluer's thing did sorta start in book 4 so that could be ok. Fluer did say at the end of book 4 that she was going to take a job in England to improve her English and in book 5 there was stuff mentioned about Bill giving her 'private' English lessons so that relationship can be pointed back to the first 5 books. That part does not bother me.

I was hoping how Remus was made would have been changed, or at least the names of the characters and the how and why it was done would be changed...

I just didn't want any history that had Snape and Harry's mom linked like in the book 6 *shudders in disgust* Snape's history should be totally different from book 6. Like if book 6 didn't exist at all. And it should show why he has to act like he hates Harry in order not to compromise his cover as an agent of the Order in front of students with ties to the Dark Side. Even the stuff in book 5 can be used that he only was put off of Harry because he looked so much like his father and there was a transference of the anger he had towards James for being a bully towards him when he had to put up with abuse at home too during the summer and hated that he got bullied at school too.

That is how I always read the Snape character from books 1 to 5. That he doesn't really hate Harry himself. But he could be disappointed that Harry does not apply himself or take things more seriously when the responsiblity he faces is so great and the defeat of Voldemort rests on the shoulders of a boy he knows should be smart because he had smart parents. Snape doesn't seem to like slackers and Harry's attitude doesn't help. Snape wants to see more respect and application of the brain he knows Harry's got. That is why he is so hard on Harry I always thought.

He knows what Harry is up against. Snape knows that Dumbledore leaves Harry in the dark all the time but Snape wants Harry to be ready.

That is what I thought book 6 was supposed to be... if it had followed logic from books 1 to 5.

That didn't happen *sighs* that was why I made the challenge to redo the mistakes from books 6 and 7. To ignore those books and pick up from the end of book 5 and have the story go right.

That's one of the big reasons I hoped not to see any of the stuff from those books, I wanted to ignore they existed at all. That's all. *shrugs*

Argh, my break time is up again...*sighs* my reason for sleep deprivation is calling me again...

excellent start!!! i can not wait to read the next chapters. please update soon!!!

This first chapter is very good please update soon when you can

As I said when I first reviewed the story by Harry85 in answer to the challenge; you are one brave writer to attempt such a complicated set of parameters. Having repeated that particular honorific, I think you have made a good start and seemingly we have already managed to get Hermone and Harry to accept their mutual feelings, without the whole 'I don't think he/she feels the same' nonsense.

I like your style of writing and you are already on my list from previous stories (I like the spear); mainly because I appreciate well-written and grammatical fiction be it fan or otherwise.Of course the fact that your spelling tends to follow the OED as opposed to some nameless volume from across the pond also helps:-)

Bene scribat, et tibi grates ago, bona fortuna ob fabella - probe! FS

Really nice start. Don't worry about possible similarities, I know they will be elicited by the challenge requirements.

How disappointing then.... it has things in it that I was trying to avoid... no book 6 or 7 stuff at all... *sighs*



I know how Harry85's turned out and it was good and all compliant for the challenge. It was very good.

I'll need to check out what gi88 has planned for it.

if it has book 6 parts in it, I won't be finishing the rest. But good luck with the rest....I am sure it will be fine, but not my cup of tea now... *sighs*

Nice I love it when Harry and Hermione kissed this a good chapter.
I hope you continue it.
it's nice I enjoyed it veary much.
Please keep it up.
I am looking forword to the next chapter.
But till then so long.
Tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha that's all folks!

Not a bad start but only one oopsie that goes against challenge rules... the name of a character from book 6 made it into the first chapter Fenrir. But that can always be fixed later I guess.

There isn't going to be anymore book 6 stuff is there? *worried*

Good so far I can't wait and see what differences you make from harry85's story (which is amazing) but I love this challenge anyways so it doesn't matter this one will be awesome too

Good stuff. Rushed in parts, but good. I'm pretty sure that our beloved couple would not rush into things the way you have them doing....but then again, maybe they would, after Hermione was healed enough.

Anyway - I'll keep reading

Regards,

the_scribbler