AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 22/03/08
Woah. I really hope it went that (fast) way in canon...... |
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I really liked this despite it being so short. However, as a fellow writer, I would submit that you try an alternative route in writing this story. I think it would even more interesting if you tried rewriting in the "detached" way that you describe in Hermione's narration from the being. Show the reader, don't tell us. I really loved the few lines of dialogue in that, between H&H, it was all extremely ambiguous. If you hadn't have told us, I could see a great version of this as in a movie, where an ambiguously written portrayal of the action might leave room for more interpretation and work on the reader's part, but it would be worth it.
Keep up the great work!
H&H4EVA
Hermione Rae |
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papermaskSigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 15/03/08
This was short, yet very powerful. I liked it a lot. Great work.  |
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gti88Signed | Chapter : 2 | Date : 15/03/08
Interesting story...can't say I've read one like it before. It's written well, but it also underscores the connection between Harry and Hermione in an excellent way...can't say it's mind-blowing, but it is a solid story never-the-less. |
Author Feedback: Thanks...I'm trying out a new style so I appreciate the imput. |
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Hana-xoxoSigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 14/03/08
Wow! That was a beautiful ending!! Absolutely adored the fact that they don't need any words to convey their feelings! You caught the characters really well with their interactions absolutely lovely! I adored that other chapter too! Stories like these don't need to many words to capture the lovely essence of it all! A very enjoyabble and cute read! Loved it! It was a great read!!
 
xoxo
Hana |
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Hana-xoxoSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 14/03/08
Aww! This is so lovely I absolutely adore it! You caught the emotions and everything so well! It was really touching
xoxo
Hana |
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Harry85Signed | Chapter : 2 | Date : 14/03/08
Aww, sweet. Although, Hermione driving him jealous with a date of her own is a bit of a clichè...  |
Author Feedback: Yeah, I know it is but I've always operated under the idea that Hermione has been in love with Harry since school but she won't say anything about it and in this story she's decided to try and move on and the idea of her dating someone that's not Ron shocks Harry into realizing his feelings...
I really appreciate your review! Thanks so much! |
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yay. this is the sort of story i would find at livejoural. very wonderful. i liked it a lot. :]
it sort of reminds me of this other author...but this sort of style is the one that makes me believe in love.  |
Author Feedback: Aww thanks! I'm trying out a new style (I always feel too wordy)...so I really appreciate the responses I'm getting!
Thanks so much! |
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holw cow? this little chapter has got me on edge. and when she thinks if it wasn't so platonic, she would think she was the other girl. *dies* so true. onto the next. |
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