Nice start, but sadly, from the moment Ron enter the shop, it spirals downward.
Too fast, so direct and easy to be even unrealistic.
Ciao!

WHAT??!!! Ithough Hermione was all sad about the break up. Seriously, that was one of the most unexpected things ever. You should have let it flow naturally. It could have been 2 chapters. One about the breakup and the other about H/Hr.
Not Hermione: I\'m so sad I broke up with Ron. I Luurrvvee you, Harry
Despite the ending, it was pretty good

simply...amazing....

it was a really great story and i didn't expect that the story would go that way...i was really very surprised...very, very surprised.

the "i love you" and "i love you too"...

it was the best..the very best...most amazing really

i also loved how hermione dumped ron just as he was proposing!! the best really--next to best actually

great story...but one question...why did harry suddenly had a change of heart??

really weird.

amazed,
mow09

*chuckle* Yeah, I can see how finding the right one makes life lots more exciting. Ron's timing, as usual, is excreable and he's going to suffer for it. He obviously was totally unobservent and unaware and it's going to hurt him for a while. I rather suspect that Molly Weasley's going to cause him more headaches as all her plans *really* go up in smoke, esp. if/when Harry & Hermione marry. Her reaction to *just* the announcement of same should be "entertaining", to say the least and I suspect Ginny's won't be much better.

woop woop nice one! go back in time and correct DH for us

the whole hermione confessing her love thing was a little sudden but it was cute, this story really seems like it could be stretched out a bit more, like maybe a chapter concerning hermione getting a new job that she likes better and then giving her boss a piece of her mind and then maybe a talk with ron about why he proposed but what you've done was lovely and i really liked it, well done

Now. I believe that you had such a great thing going on, all the descriptions and mixed feelings of confusion and being bored, but you completely ruined it by just making Hermione say out of the blue say she loves Harry. I am very sure that you, as a great writer, could have added more leading up to the point and some mixed emotions at the beginning. After all, a girl doesn't cry over her boyfriend who she had been going out with for a while, and then just announce she is in love with a guy (even if the guy is Harry) that she hasn't seen in forever.

Now, I'm definitely not trying to flame, but I thought a bit of criticizing could do some good.

For the most part, this was a cute story.


,
Molly

That was all really rather fast. Which is a shame, because you could have thrashed out quite a good story. As it stands, I feel that I've read a verbal tornado, and I didn't have time to feel anything for anybody.

Aw...that was really sweet and i loved it. I hope that you keep writing and I'm very sorry to hear about your family tragedies. Sometimes I feel like I need to just write when those things happen to me. Ya know? Like get it all out

I liked it, although I don't think Ron would be so stupid to propose to her when he himself knows their relationship is dull. And, you could have elaborated more on their date and them getting together, you know.

What a cute story! It might have happened just a tiny bit too fast, though. But, other than that, it was adorable!

i liked the plot, but it was way too rushed for a one shot.. i mean everything happened in like 3 hours... ???

Hi there, nice story, maybe a little quick on the plot. Assuming from your biography I tend ti beleive that you are a citizen of this big county just across the pond. I also seems so as some expressions seem to be definitley American. How can go Hermione on a "date" with Ron, when she is his girlfriend? Over here you go on a "date" with someone to (hopefully) become boy/girlfriend. After you have achieved this goal, you do not go on "dates" anymore, you just do thing together. What else would be the meaning of having a boy- or girlfriend? We "go out" with someone, we do not "date" someone (this is a US-only expression). Also Hermione realized that Harry had feelings for her, because he asked her out. In Europe you can ask somebody out, just because you like that person, especially since H/Hr have known each other for 10 years. When living in the US we found this American dating-business a little shocking, if not to say very complicated for foreigners. Maybe hint for your future writing.

if everything was once exciting too, and i quote - "she had been ecstatic. She was thrilled to work at a wizarding shop filled with the oldest and rarest of all magical artifacts, and a variety of ancient volumes and manuscripts. She had been so exuberant, in fact, that she had offered to work all seven days a week, since she was completely convinced that she would never get tired of working there."
and she became bored, would the same thing happen again?

this was a very good little one shot and i realy enjoyed it!and i hope everything is better in your personel life,i lost my mother a year ago last christmas and then my sister last thanksgiving,so i know a little something about family tragedy and i know it takes time to heal! please keep up with the great stories! hannibalking5!