i completely agree with you harry just wouldn't put a blanket over hermione and go. he would comfort her

i completely agree with you harry just wouldn't put a blanket over hermione and go. he would comfort her

you have more sense than jk ! as if ron/hermione or harry/ginny would make a good couple! Harmony forever

Great start I am glad to see you did not have them pussy footing aounrd and got to it. I am very couriouse to see what hepans when Ron tries to destroy the hortecrux and the Tom changes into Harry and hermione and convince Ron that what Trom is saying is the truth. I hope you don't go down the old path of Ron being a jerk and hurting both harry and Hermione. Killer start na dkeep going!

First I liked your story, so please don't think I am trying to flame you. I just agree with gak, who probably said it better than I could have. Take time with the rest of your story. I am going to mark it so I can keep up with it. Thanks for posting.

I think you have a very good base for what could be a terrific story. The scene felt rushed, disjointed in areas, probably because your characters seemed to just jump forward with little development. I think if you slowed down the story, allowing time for Hermione to grieve at Ron's departure, a few hours or days would due, then give a little more of an explanation why Harry and Hermione would sleep together. I like the idea of them not wanting to die virgins but perhaps having them discussing their fears about dying, the war, etc., and then ending with them admitting they didn't want to die virgins. The love scene had all the bones but none of the flesh. Again, take a little time here and add a little more to make it flow smoother.

As I said, you have the potential for a really great story. Your bits and pieces are solid, your storyline entertaining but it just needs a little more work. I see your talent peaking through.

I hope to see more of your stories.

What the hell?
They're two friends and they just go "Hey, I think I wanna shag you" and then "Yeah, I wanna shag you too, let's do it".

More build-up is a must in a story like this, sorry.

good writing. although if i may be completely honest, i can't see harry and hermione having sex three seconds after ron left. and that "have you ever mad love" question came completely out of the blue.

too much too quickly...

That's pretty much all i can say...

I do like that you're taking the initiative and writing something about the aftermath of Ron.

Kudos.

Well, it's nice. Although, I think they went too quickly from being hurt by Ron's departure to having sex.