Very nice story, I was a little surprised by Hermione but she's a death eater so XD

I just discovered this story and I really like it. It's a change to the usual Harry Potter stories.

LoL... SO...ARE YOU??? Funny...attracted to a death eather... the diary of hp... LoL...excuse me... i was momentarily out of my mind...

that was just evil of you how could you do that i hope that you continue soon here cause i want to know what he says to her.

I read that note at the end and though "Ha! That's what I like about starting a story late... more chapters!" ... then I noticed that I'd already caught up. Damn.



I'm enjoying this story very much. I really like the idea of this challenge, and you're taking a fine swing at it.

As I was reading this chapter, Alice Cooper's Poison came on my playlist. It seemed very appropriate. I may have to put that on a loop when reading any of the stories from this challenge

I have one small criticism - you occasionally use words oddly. The only specific example that comes to mind is where you used "hardly" to mean "in a hard way." I'm sure you know that "hardly" means 'almost never' almost all the time in English. I know that they way you used it is technically correct, but even most dictionaries don't list the definition you were using. It's out of use. Even though I knew the alternate meaning (and if I didn't, I could have guessed) it jarred me from the flow of the story, breaking the illusion. If you'd used "harshly" or "with a hard note in his voice" or some other way of saying what you wanted the flow would not have been broken.


Anyway, thank you so much for sharing this story with us, and keep up the great work!

Of course the cliff is there but the story is intriguing. What needs the most attention is the spelling. One problem is what I call the spell check syndrome; you get to expecting the program to warn you about the spelling of a word, and it works - pretty well unless you have a homonym (or nearly). For example, there, they're, and their are often exchanged and this distracts people like me from the sense of the piece. One problem I noticed in the first two chapters was confusing "alley," a byway, and "ally," a supporter. My advice is that you should find a beta who is better than you at a particular deficiency. Some people have problems with dangling modifiers or clauses or some other grammatical snag. Others get tangled up with tenses or plurals. Whatever problem you have should be what you look for in an editor. Writing is hard enough to do without having to consult a dictionary or writing handbook as you go.
Whatever you do, keep writing. Your talent will grow and you'll find it to be a needed outlet for mothering. My wife was greatly talented in mothering but she would have headed for the asylum if she could not have taught calculus to bright students also. We shared the housework and most of the parenting.
More, please... Old Chuck

Great chapter! I like the story so far. Can't wait to see the next chapter. Keep up the good work.

jeez, she catches on fast! ! ! ! ! lol
that was a good chapter

may harry and hermione prosper

um.. this is lame.. i mean its completely rushed, i reaaaally dont see hermione ever acting like that, even a death eater hermione..

The characters are very well written, especially Ginny and Hermione. If I were your beta however (no pun intended as I know that mistakes are very common and hard to catch if you are close to your work), I would give this chapter a second revision, starting with the tenses. You have a mix betweenn past and present that doesn't make sense, the contractions do not have their apostrophe, and the usual commas (or periods depending on the concept) after a dialogue line that go before, the "Harry said", "Ron said" part are not there. Your plot makes up for it though, just a suggestion. Congrats on your second pregnancy and good luck with school work.

I can't stop laughing. Lol. The idea of harry doing is best to seduce a girl, while he don't have any clues at what to do is so funny. Great chapter !! ^^

I think you have all the characters right. It's easy with those on the Light side, but Hermione strikes me as acting exactly the way she would if she was as fiercely devoted to LV as she is in canon to her Boys, house-elves, etc. It is interesting to see how her character develops - will she turn away from being a Death Eater? - as this a completely different Hermione Granger we see here.

Oh, and congratulations!

It was perfect, I really liked it, I love to hate Ginny when she behaves like a spoiled brat, I love when authors make her like that! Can't wait to see what happens next and congrats for your baby!
See ya!

Haha, that last sentence is priceless. So funny. I can just imagine Harry's face, so update soon to let me see if I'm right.

noooooo how could you end it there!!!! omg i really like this story!!! update soon please!!