Nice chapter. It definitely shows their shock over losing Ron, though I don't know if they'd exactly have made it to the hugging point before Hermione realized her shirt was missing. =/ She probably would have noticed it right after she woke up.
"They weren't okay. But Harry was okay. She was okay."
That contradicts itself a bit. How can they be okay and not okay at the same time? Also, I doubt they'd be laughing and having a good time that quickly after Ron died. I realize that they're still in shock some, and haven't fully processed that he's not coming back, but obvious they've processed enough to be upset and crying about it. I don't think they'd be capable of laughing that soon after.
Like I said, nice work and I look forward to more soon! 
xx RavenclawGenius |
Author Feedback: LOL i didn't even realise i wrote that wow! sorry bout that. I think when i wrote it i was trying to say that they weren't okay yet but physically? i guess they were okay. I dont know lol i really don't know why i wrote that.
In all honesty they probably wouldn't have made it that far but the point i was trying to get across was that Hermione cared more for him than for herself as she didn't care what was up with her she only wanted to take care of Harry before anything else.
The laughter was my own way to lighten the story a bit as everything i've written so far was a bit depressing. I sort of wanted to ease the story into a bit more of romance instead of angst. Anyway sorry for the mistakes i promise to do better next chapter!  Keep reviewing please you're my best one so far. - Gilksey |
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yohoSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 30/01/08
I just see portkey do not like my german keyboard. Always when I type an inverted comma you see this: '
Excuse |
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yohoSigned | Chapter : 3 | Date : 30/01/08
Some notions for a title:
Life is What You Make It
or
The Given Living
(Ron has made a great gift to Hermione: her life. For him she’s now bound to make the best of it)
Don’t know, if the second title is accurately translated form German to English. In German it means: Das geschenkte Leben
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teganiiSigned | Chapter : 3 | Date : 30/01/08
I would hope Harry wouldn't walk away. Wouldn't that just be confirming that Hermione was right, that she would get him killed if he stuck around?
Ok, I was hesitant to do this but I'll through my two cents in for a title: "If You Leave". Can be taken for many meanings and characters, including Ron. Anyhoo.... That's my feeble attempt. Good luck with the title hunt.
As always, nice update and, Thanks!
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Harry85Signed | Chapter : 3 | Date : 30/01/08
Powerful chapter, albeit short. But who am I to complain? I write short chapters too, at least most of the time, so, where's the problem?  |
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PJSigned | Chapter : 3 | Date : 30/01/08
Even though it sorta feels like half the chapter is missing, it is still very good.
I can totally relate to old computer issues. So, I just will have to be happy with the short but very good chapters.
For a title, since you are asking for ideas but, this may be weird so just ignore it if it doesn't fit the story in later parts, it is a little hard to tell with short chapters but how about: "Until Death Do Us Part" Because Harry and Hermione are bound to eachother and only death would force them apart?
Again, if it doesn't work with future plot, it won't upset me if you don't use it or even like it. Just an idea, in case you do like it.
Looking forward to seeing more when your computers decide to be a little bit more cooperative with you 
PJ |
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Harry85Signed | Chapter : 2 | Date : 28/01/08
Whoa...sad chappie here! But it was well written and beautiful too  |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 28/01/08
good good good i really love this fic so far keep up the good work. i love it. |
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yohoSigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 27/01/08
First please excuse my dreadful English. I\'m German an I\'m used to read texts in English. But written communication is just a different kettle of fish.
However forward to your story: I like it.
And because I\'m a fanfiction-author myself (in Germany) I know about the significance of reviews for an author. More than ever for a beginner.
I like your story, because you give Harry and Hermione a great depth. Other than the most fanfiction authors admit to these characters.
And I like that they act like adults for example when Harry pulls Hermiones shirt up. There\'s no time for shamefacedness und only sappy teens wood put up a fuss about that.
I’m looking forward to future chapters. And thank you for this story.
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Author Feedback: Hey! I really wanted to thank you! Your reveiw was amazing and so encouraging! I'm really glad you like it and I'm hoping beyond hope that i don't disappoint you in later chapters! Honeslty what you said means a lot and just thanks!!  - Gilksey |
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teganiiSigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 27/01/08
Hmmm... This has some merits to it. I like to see Harry with some powers beyond second years spells. Let's see where you take this.
Thanks for sharing your story. |
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PJSigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 27/01/08
Good start to what looks like will be a good story.
I will be interested in seeing how you develop it further.
PJ |
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Sad chapter.  You've done really well on this so far, but I've just got one question. If this is just after the battle finished, why are there whispers and stares when Hermione's injured? It would make sense that because it's a battle there WOULD be injuries, yeah? Other than that, great job, and I look forward to reading more. I'm wondering how you're going to progress the two of them from friends to more than that.
xx RavenclawGenius |
Author Feedback: hey thanks again for the reveiw! they aren't whispering because of her injuries they're wondering what's going on with the battle, cause all the kids were supposed to be in their common rooms and have no idea whats going on in the great hall. lol but yeah i'm pretty eager to get them together too! anyway g2g ! thanks again! |
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Harry85Signed | Chapter : 1 | Date : 26/01/08
Sorry, forgot to add it to my chapter alert list, I'll do it now! |
Author Feedback: OMG! lol thank you so much! I love your stories and it means so much to me that you like my story! thanks and i hope you like my later chapters |
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Harry85Signed | Chapter : 1 | Date : 26/01/08
Nice start. I just don't really like that outburst of power Harry had. I mean...I can understand he being upset by ron's death. However, I don't think such a show is realistic. The words he shouted, yes, the sparks and such, not really.
As for the title, not knowing the details of what they will go through I'm not sure I can be of help... |
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this was a really sad sad story, but i think that you did a wonderful job of setting up future chapters... as for a title... i'm not really sure as i'm not very good at thinking of thm either ha ha |
Author Feedback: lmao thanks ! |
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