WOW! I'm clutching my stomach and laughing like a hyena here! Viopathartic strikes again! Great chapter! it was so fun to read this cliched and stupid version of what happens in EVERY affair fic. Teen Drama!!! Drunk, abusive and having affairs husband but she still stays because she loves Harry!!! More like she's completely and utterly delusional. Harry, the resident sslut! That was by far THE BEST LINE!!! And I loved their convo...
"Why didn't you just talk to me?"

"Ron."

"So?"

"He fancied you."

"So?"

"He's my best friend."

"So?"

I mean, how more funny could it get? But it did! Chocolate ice-cream eyes! Eye reader! Gimme a break.
And its been 25, not 5 years. I laughed so lloud that my parents rushed in my room to see what was wrong! Well, I'm going to go read the next chappie... See you!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!

I hope you don't mind me starting my review with so many ha's... Coz that's exactly what I am doing right now!!! You are HILARIOUS! Awesome! And it's all so true! I mean, I've read about 50 fics with similar plots and reading this chapter (the previous one was great as well, I was gonna review the whole thing in the last chapter but this page was too good to leave!) but this one takes the cake! And yes, I know its a parody!
MICHAEL JACKSON!!!! Heir of Billy Jones! Powers, hot bod, you got everything! This is undoubtedly one of the best parodies I've ever read and I haven't even read the next 2 chapters yet! So I'll just go and read them and you, do reply to my review (it's a bit long, I hope you don't mind...)

OK I reviewed. There.

I WANT MY MARS BAR!!! GIVE IT TO ME!!! PRONTO!

lol lovely ending. Again, burst out laughing and my mum had to come in to tell me to shut the hell up, people are sleeping, damnit!

lol Anyways, loved the hilarity, and I completely agree with you on the ridiculous aspects that are the Harry Potter fanfiction world. Cheers!

yeah, affair-fics always just make me totally depressed, its worse than the fics where one or both of them die. Totally depressing and the idea of Hermione and Ron being married is just gross.

"His heart was shattered and could not be fixed with a simple Reparo" This line made me seriously burst out laughing! My mum had to come in my room and ask what I was snorting about lol!

Yeah, I still do not understand why the supposed "smartest and cleverest witch of the age" goes after the guy who insults her and makes her cry and displays characteristics of an unloyal jackass..... hmmm... the only plausible explanation is that JK was on crack...

lol! Hilarious as usual (by the way, I totally call Venus!) This chapter reminds me of a fic I read that was fine, except for the fact that the author wrote about how on Harry's 16th birthday or something, he got his eyesight back, and how when Hermione looked into his spectacle-free eyes, she fell madly in love. ick. lol Anyhow, I really liked the chapter. lol, oh Michael Jackson, you used to be popular, now you're a subject of humour... tsk tsk.

LOL - I've read a lot of fanfictions too, and yeah, there are some crazily stupid ones out there. I hate the Mary Sue's!!! With a passion!! I once read a fanfiction about two years ago that had a whole new character inserted into the plot - of course, it was a female character, who won over the heart of "The Slytherin Prince" or something or other. Might've been the Ice King or some such shite as that. Ugh, soon as I halfway read the first chapter I almost hurled. This was hilarious, by the way, lol, I thouroughly enjoyed it. I;ve always believed that the Harry Potter series and fanfictions should be written with a fair degree of eloquence and feeling, and from the fics of yours that I have read so far, I think that you do an extremely good job of it. Keep writing, and I'll definitely read it! Cheers!

That was funny, and I agree, this is the kind of stuff I usually turn the other way and walk away from when I see it, completely throws both characters OOC.

Since I do want Mars and any possible green men residing there, I'll review.
It was kinda funny, really, but I tend to compare any parody I read with those of Citygirl~ on fanfiction.net and there's really no competition.

Still, good job, made me crack up a bit.

Niiiiiiiice!!!!I loved it!!! LOL,you\'re freaking awesome at this and no,I got shot by the FBI!!!!!

I love it! I also loved it when you said you\'ll give us....um.....mars,and a car!oh!and A cookie!

Because this was an awesome chapter, I'm putting down all of the funny comments that I loved, and you can see how much I love your story!

-Nineteen Fucking Years Later-
*Oh YEAH!

-Along the way, they passed a vomiting homeless drunk, a robbery being investigated at the local bar, and a gaggle of almost bare prostitutes lined up against the wall facing the train station. One of the girls called out a name that sounded suspiciously like "Ginny" and asked whether or not she was coming back to her old job. "Ginny" ignored the woman. It was a fine, fine morning in London.-
*We always knew Ginny was no virgin...

-"It won't be long, and you'll be going too," Harry told her.

"Two years," sniffed Lily. "I want to go now!"-
*Spoilt brat!

-"Hey, fuck off, little girl. I want that too because you're so goddamn annoying!"-
*Harry can definitely outbitch his own daughter.

-"Harry, you're gonna mess up my makeup!" she whined, coyly blushing. She immediately reached for a mirror from her purse and checked her face.

"Don't worry, honey; it doesn't make you any prettier."-
*And yet he married her.

-"Parked all right, then?" Ron asked Harry. "I did. Hermione didn't believe I could pass a Muggle driving test, did you? She thought I'd have to Confund the examiner."-
*You did, Ron. Sneaky of you - what kind of character are you, cheating whenever you can?

-"No, I didn't," said Hermione almost with a straight face. She turned away from her husband, muttering, "I thought you'd have to kill him."-
*I wouldn't put it past him..

-"As a matter of fact, I did Confund him…and made sure he'd never have children again," Ron whispered to Harry, as together they lifted Albus's trunk and owl onto the train.-
*I KNEW IT!
**No posterity = WIN!

-"Teddy's back there," he said breathlessly, pointing back over his shoulder into the billowing clouds of steam. "Just seen him! And guess what's he doing? Shagging Victoire!"-
*I bet James secretly wanted in...

-"Our Teddy! Teddy Lupin, you bastards! Shagging our Victorie! Our cousin! Isn't that almost incest? And I asked Teddy what he was doing—"

"You interrupted them?" Ginny petulantly said. "You are so, like, oh my god, like Ron—"

"B-but—" James stuttered, wondering why the adults were so nonchalant about shagging. "They're—"

"James, it's a natural part of life. Get used to it," said his mother.-
*Teddy swearing = DOUBLE WIN!
**Ginny ditzy is awesomely stupid...

-Harry tapped Ron on the shoulder. "Ron...is that Luna blowing kisses at you?"

Ron turned his head and indeed, the younger blond witch was wearing a seductive dress and casually waving and kissing the air across the street from them.

"Uh...no."

"Hey, is that Luna with a child?"

"She has a kid!"

Indeed, Luna was also holding the hand of a small red-headed child with freckles and blue eyes. He looked suspiciously like Ronald Weasley.

"And Ron," Harry began, "is that Luna holding a sign to you?"

Ron turned his head and indeed, she was holding up a huge sign with print that he could not read.

"Uh, no..."

"Hey, Ron, is Luna holding up a sign that says 'I'm having another one of Ron's babies! AFFAIR, AFFAIR, AFFAIR?"

"No…"-
***THIS TAKES THE CAKE!

(But I'm not done yet)

-"Okay," Hermione and Harry said in unison. Obviously, he wasn't lying.-
*NO, REALLY?

-Ron waved happily after them, not dwelling on the fact that Harry never really liked books and that he had slapped Hermione's behind as they were walking away.-
*Honestly Ron, you're so dense.

-So yeah, all was not well because Ron soon found out about Hermione and Harry's lust/love driven affair and yelled, kicked, and yes, screamed. He also became the next Dark Lord.
*I thought Ron was having an affair with Luna?

-But after, he got a bit tired and retired from his position as Mr. Evil. He settled down with the ever-so dreamy Luna. Their daughter, Emily, eventually fell in love with Harry and Hermione's eleventh son Bibbity Bobbity Boo Potter.
*Now THAT makes a great OBHWF story!

ANOTHER WIN CHAPTER! Especially at the ending!

-It was obvious Harry was suffering; he was wearing black.-
WIN!

-"So?"

Harry mentally groaned. Damn. He should have thought of that.-
DOUBLE WIN!

-Well, your feelings didn't really matter back then. Besides having a rift between one guy and his best mate over a female caused much more drama," Harry stated matter-of-factly. He looked around before leaning in and whispering, "I heard a lot of girls dig the drama."-
TSK TSK!

-"I've shagged Parvati, Lavender, Cho, Ginny, Hannah, and Padma...in fact, I may be the father of their babies. But they don't matter! I always knew I was in love with you, Hermione," Harry confessed, looking into her brown chocolate ice cream eyes. Yumm...

Hermione saw the love in his eyes because she was an expert eye-reader. She believed him.

"What do we do?"

Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair. DEAD SEXY. "Well, there's not other option...let's just have an affair."

"Okay!"-
TAKES THE CAKE!

This was so crazy funny! I was shocked, and the confession song was hilarious! I know the song, but I just don't know how that had gotten into Harry's skull that Hermione fancied him.

The ending was WIN!

-"I thought you sounded like Crookshanks and a bull frog having their way, but it aroused me anyway," Harry said, his voice low and husky like a sexy beast.

"I'm so glad we have contraceptive charms. Then we can have sex all night long without having to worry about getting pregnant unlike the Americans across the pond."

Hermione laughed, "Ha, losers."

And they continued with their lovemaking because that's what two people in love do all the time—lovemake.-

TAKES THE CAKE!

LMAO! I was trying SO HARD to not crack up during this! the ironic (or just plain funny) thing is that when writing I do my best to try avoiding the things from each chapter. for instance, harry suddenly becoming hot. or suddenly realizing hermione is hot or that he loves her or something. or squishing an entire story into one chapter.
it would be freakin awesome to have another chapter of this.

FYI, I know you said in your author's note at the end that this was the last chapter. the story status says it's still in progress