Seems kinda rushed to me...after they got to miones place they all acted like it wasn't a big deal and there weren't many details to get the reader concerned enough

i'm gonna have to read through this again so i can actually catch the differences this time, (lol that was your plan wasn't it, haha).

eh brutal? well all the longing & near misses between harry/ginny and hermione/ron are making me queazy...really, i'm such a harmony shipper that i'm boycotting the rest of the hp movies.

but back on subject, i still haven't drawn any differences from the canon book and your story, will that come later?

That was great
molly was annoying but that's normal
I can't wait til they leave
update soon

This sounded interesting until I saw that you've written 3 chapters in 3 years!!! I'm sorry but you can't interest anyone in a story with no updates. Perhaps you are working on something of your own, since your profile says we'll see you on bookshelves before you're 25.

Not a flame - just reminding you that readers hate abandoned stories and at this rate of posting, it's technically abandoned.

You've stuck quite close to the origional book so far - will there be a diverging point, is it going to be more of a parallel thing?

Here's hoping updates are on their way
Discount

So, I followed your advice and reread the first two chapters before reading the new one. I definitely needed it,

The first one's good, I don't remember DH well (lucky me, ) so I don't know exactly what and how much you changed there, but the HHr hug was very nice indeed. And Ron didn't seem jealous (so far, at least) which is good too.

The second was good too. The "tastier" comment was priceless, I know it was in the book too (it was, right? I remember it...) which makes me even mor epuzzled on why JK didn't go for HHr if she could throw in bits like that and the "fanciable" comment in HBP, but I digress Did you change their target location? If I'm not mistaken Harry didn't go to the Granger's before the Burrow in DH...nor they went by Thestrals, and of course Hermione didn't travel with Harry, he travelled with Hagrid if I'm not mistaken
Also, you changed a bit the thing with her parents, didn't you? It was Hermione who thought to send them away in the book, but here it is an idea of the Order. Good job on that, I've never been very keen on Hermione planning that on her own, it's a bit too cynical for her to do so.

I'm not so pleased with Harry still pining after Ginny, but I guess we couldn't expect him to have already forgotten all about her, could we?

Now, onto this new chapter, I didn't like Harry being still set on pining over Ginny, and Ron beating Harry to comfort Hermione, just like I didn't like it in the book (although here, he has a chance to do that a bit later when he hugs her, ), but I know you're going for little changes here and there which will change the final outcome (tbh, there would be almost no need at all, it would be enough to modify the period when Hermione and Harry stay alone in the tent, and have them hook up then, or at least realize their feelings and then change the ending, I found DH quite HHr-ish for the most part, excluding of course the kisses and the epilogue, which is why when approaching the end I was even hoping she might have changed her mind, just to have my hopes crushed by the RHr kiss... )

All in all, it was a good chapter, I just think Gabrielle's older than 11, wasn't she 13 already when the Triwizard took place?

I hope you don't plan to have us wait another two years before you update again

I get to be brutal? Excelllllent. >

Nothing good to be said about the story. You follow the events in the book, but it is way too rushed. In the two years you spent away from this story, your style has not improved at all. Word choice needs work...the way you write is too choppy.

Make the story flow. Move from one setting to the next without abrupt interruptions. Describe character interactions more fluently. Put a slightly bigger emphasis on author narration. Explain emotions and thoughts...

The wedding is a frenzy, but your story shouldn't be. I hope the writing style improves SIGNIFICANTLY. Judging from your other stories, you're not a beginner, but you need a lot of work.

And these are my brutal two cents. Hope it helps. >

gti88

Actually a married French woman is called Madame your story seem a little disjointed but it's ok

Thank you for this story and the time
and effort that you have put in to it.
Please ignore any and all flames.Enjoy
your self when you write and have fun
in your life when you can.

Really good story! I really like the subtlety of Harry and Hermione. Most stories make real big changes to their feelings and it's nice to read something different. I'm also glad that the Delacours are portrayed as nice people. A lot of fanfics I've read have them stuck up. Overall great job and I can't wait until the next update.
`PotterBandFreak`

good. are harry and hermione going to get together anytime soon? i hope so! keep updating!

I wanted to day this is a grwat start to you version of the book. I have been reading your stories for a while now. If you rember me... Jeremy. I wanted to say hi and hope you would want to talk. There has been a lot hapen in my life for the good. If you want I am on AIM at Jettmbr. I would ike to catch up with you and see how all things are going. Again great start!

I like it so far... How much are you really going to change though? Looking forward to your next update...

its great....... i wish da seventh book was Lyk this.........Go harmony!!! and Merry Christmas!!