What a nice surprise!!!
I mean, I was just looking for good ficts and I found one that I really love! Guess what! Was yours!!!! But I must really say that I prefer this fic much more in spanish... maybe because I speak spanish and not english hahaha talking about that: sorry for my lack of spelling and grammar!!
Well, I still think that it's much warmer in spanish ('Vaya Cliché' jajaja  ), and I also missed Harry calling Hermione 'cariño' instead of 'sweets'  ...
Well I should stop destroying english! I'm waiting for a new fic of yours!
Kisses!
Carla |
| |
CateagleSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 08/06/07
Cliche'd perhaps, but still nice written and realized. It does build nicely to the end and wraps cleanly. |
| |
usha88Signed | Chapter : 1 | Date : 07/06/07
Hey,
That was a really interesting and cute fic. Nicej ob. I really liked it. It was pretty cliche..Nicej ob!  lol. |
| |
AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 06/06/07
Apesadumbrado, intentaré hablar en inglés.
No like Harry saying "Sweets" Hermione. No mean "Sweats". Sorry bad English.
Mucho amor, yo |
Author Feedback: Thanks for the review,
sakura_txell
PS: No termino de entender lo que querías decir. No sé si es porque no hablas ni español ni inglés. En caso de que quieras aclararme mis dudas, te pido, por favor, que seas tan amable de repetirme lo que tus palabras significaban. De todas formas, muchas gracias por tus comentarios.
///// I don't really understand what you are trying to tell me. I don't know if it is because you don't know English nor Spanish. In case you want to straighten up my doubts, I ask you to repeat the comment, please. However, I am very thankful for your reviews. |
| |
AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 06/06/07
¡Apesadumbrado! ¡Signifiqué decir los dulces, no sudo! ¡No tuve gusto de Harry que llamaba Hermione “dulces” no “sudo”!
Mucho amor, yo |
Author Feedback: Thanks for the review,
sakura_txell |
| |
AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 06/06/07
Era todo el muy bueno, yo apenas no estaba muy contento con “suda” la parte, él no cupo con el carácter de Harry. ¡Apesadumbrado, ésa es mi solamente queja sin embargo!
Gracias, mucho amor, yo. |
Author Feedback: Thanks for the review,
sakura_txell |
| |
lzodSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 05/06/07
I thought it was a very sweet little piece. The only thing that confused me was the use of Headquarters until I realized you meant the rooms for the HeadBoy & HeadGirl.
Lisa |
Author Feedback: I just didn't really know how to call them! So I used HEAD-quarters. I don't know if it's correct, but...
Thanks for the review,
sakura_txell |
| |
LieSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 05/06/07
It's me again 
Just since I have them still in mind and you'd have to search, here are the two mistakes I found:
"She couldn’t help the hot rush of disappointment that ran through her body: HER Harry, even after so many years of fighting for his life, couldn’t have a complete existence."
"Hermione couldn’t really recall the precise moment she fell in love with HER best friend, who happened to be the Boy-Who-Saved, the Boy-Who-Vanquished, the Boy-Who-Triumphed, the Boy-Who-... and so many more silly nicknames that Hermione couldn’t remember all of them. But she knew something. And that was that, for her, he was ‘just Harry’."
I hope I'm helpfull and not annoying
 Lie |
Author Feedback: Thanks again. And don't worry, it was annoying, but the excat opposite!
sakura_txell |
| |
LieSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 05/06/07
That's really a sweet little fic  In the end it got a bit too... how did you call it... cliché  but I can't say you didn't warn me... Anyways an enjoyable story, i hope you will write many more like that...
only one little thing: two times you wrote "his" instead of "her", that got me out of the flow a bit, so if you ever have the time to search for the two little mistakes and fix them...
thanks for writing and sharing,
 Lie |
Author Feedback: I found the mistakes, thank GOD! I thought I never would! I proofread the text like five times before considering there were no more confusions.
Thanks for the review, by the way,
sakura_txell |
| |
Julie3291Unsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 05/06/07
Very cute little one shot. Really meaningful. Keep up the good work. |
Author Feedback: Thanks for the review,
sakura_txell |
| |
|
Not bad. Watch your pronouns, and do a little more proofreading and you'll be just fine. |
Author Feedback: I have reread the story, and I just found a pronoun mistake in the last line. Were you referring to it?
Nevertheless, thanks for the review!
sakura_txell |
| |
|
|
Author Feedback: It was something I wrote a year ago, and I was just trying some things. 'Sweets' it was something I heard, and I thought it was cute. I prefer 'Mione too!
Thanks for your review,
sakura_txell |
| |
gingercatUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 05/06/07
You can never get tired of reading about the coming together of this wonderful pair. Too bad JK won't let it happen. Nice story. |
Author Feedback: Don't be so pessimistic!!! You only have to believe in HH!! If it doesn't happen in the books, just remember there's still this wonderful site!
And, yes, you can never get tired of this couple.
Thank you for the review!
sakura_txell |
| |
|
Very good, and I thought it was actually very in character. I mean, it would totally seem typical to me, as cliche as it now seems in fandom, that Harry would hide his feelings for his best friend and Hermione would do likewise, eventually spilling it out in a shouting-match/tearful, dramatic way (and although that sort of sarcastic, it's not intended to be).
As far as critiquing, the "sweets" thing got on my nerves honestly. Although, I reread your "Inside A Cupboard" and noticed the fact you said you translated it from Spanish, so I wondered if it was the same for this in some instances. That would answer the "Sweets" questions since I don't know that I've generally heard that as a term of endearment, so when I was like 1/3 story away from finishing, I actually copy/pasted it into a word processor and replaced all the "sweets" with "love," which for me personally was the only term of endearment I could handle from a guy.
Additionally, there were a few instances where you said "his best friend" when I think you meant "her best friend" since you were talking about Hermione in relation to Harry; it was meant to be a feminine possessor "her" instead of his. These are just basic beta-things to catch, but I'd thought I'd share in case you'd want to change them.
I really loved your story though, especially how Hermione would notice his loss of "a twinkling in his green eyes"!!!!
H&H4EVA
Hermione Rae |
Author Feedback: The sweets thing is just something that came up, and I wanted to use it... at least I wanted to use this a year ago! In Spain, (in my family) we use endearments a lot. We never use the same. And it is kind of boring (for me) to use the same.
No, I didn't translate it from Spanish. I usually don't translate from Spanish to English, but the other way. I prefer to write first in English, since it's more difficult to me, and then translate the text into Spanish.
As for the mistake you referred to me, I reread the story, but I didn't find THAT one. Care to tell me were you saw it?
Thank you for your words! I loved the long review!!
sakura_txell |
| |
|