Ah it was abit.. ah i dont know how to say it, but it was ok so far.

I have to say i really loved your rant, i also share your opinion when it comes to book six, and ron.... and the ships JK came up with. They all disgust me more then anything else in the world, the thought of Hermione in book six, becoming so... ugh, is the only word i can think of atm, but god how she acted over Ron and Harry ginny made me puke!

Then the whole plot of book six pissed me off to know end.

Book five kind of pissed me off aswell, i did see a more mature harry coming after book 4 but then came the agasty and emo harry. I just so wanted to hurt someone though after the end of book 5 and 6 i destoryed the book. I had half a mind to write JK and demand a refund for that trash she wrote.

Anyway hope your story will be enjoyable.

Dear god i sound like a pompuse jack ass when i read what i just wrote... ohwell!

I hope you update this story really really really really soon, cause i really really really like the ideas you have brought up so far...just found the story actually by randomly browsing the story lists. If this story has been put on pernament hold i swear i am going to go sulk for hours on end....i want to see where you take the story, it has the potential to match vox corporis. (which actually was the first fanfiction i have ever read) and have read vox corporis many many many times...that and circle's end...still like vox corporis the very best...but i utterly hate waiting for chapters!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sooooo....your going to update soon right????

It's rushed....but if you slow things down now and start to explore the relationship, now that you've brought the two of them together, you'll have a pretty good story on your hands.

Good luck & Happy Thanksgiving.


The_scribbler

Excellent start. It seemed somewhat slow to develop, but I feel there's a good basis to something more. I only hope that you continue to follow this thread to completion? I anxiously await further developments.

I love this story. Please update soon. and I agree about ron's character going down the drain during the second book. about the time that he suggested flying the car to hogwarts. Idiot.

Please write more, you bring a ton of wit to the story. My main example is the way you have Dumbledore an McGonagall acting. It is clear you have made careful note of how they interact.

Very cute concept. 'Soul mates' have been explored by various other stories on this site, but this is a most unique way of discovery.

I hope you'll consider continuing your tale.

Looking forward to all future installments. )

Whoa, there, Tex. Way too much exposition in too little area.

One of the things that shows a person is maturing as an author is their ability to show a person's thoughts and emotions on a subject without outright stating them. In other words, exposition is removed for actions. Your rampaging exposition there is not only too blunt, but also too rose-colored. Hermione has no faults? I may love her character, and seeing her paired with Harry, but she does have her faults. For instance, she tends to follow authority and what she's read in books almost blindly. Because she's afraid to question authority, she might not always be prepared to for upcoming events.

Also, all of that wordy exposition is hard to read. I understand that you want to go over what happened in the earlier books from a H/Hr perspective, but it would be better done through small snippets, like if Harry, watching Hermione while she was sleeping, remembered how painful it was to see Hermione after she had been petrified. Too much recap and emotional discourse without a VERY clear point gets boring. Also, you need to delve into that mentioned connection more before bluntly stating it is there.

Finally, I don't think a year-and-a-half counts as the Yule Ball being "all those years ago."

About the relationship that cannot be described (R/Hr), I told a friend of mine that it wouldn't, couldn't work. He said "but look at all the romantic tension! It's there from the first book! They tease each other!" I said, "oh, there's tension there, but it certaintly isn't romantic. Oh, teasing may be a sign of childhood crushes, but as people mature, they're supposed to grow past that, Ron never does. And also, Ron may tease Hermione, but Hermione NEVER did the same. Even if we see Ron as liking Hermione, there is no sign of reciprocation until it was forced in "The Book-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named.""

Very good story start, Great potential, I really hope you continue with this story on a regular basis.

Great story. I can't wait to read more Harry/Hermione action. Keep up the good work.

Oh, YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! Good chapter, very very good chapter!! Can't wait to see what happens next. I hope it doesn't take long to type up the next chapter. Keep up the good work, and God Bless You!!!

Hi Alexis,

First of all, this looks to be a promising start to what should hopefully be a great story.

Also can i just say that have to completely and utterly agree with your foreword. Without saying too much in case you haven't read the last book, I will just say that the class of the harry potter books takes a steep dive after the fifth book. I will refrain from some more colourful language but I like you ideas of 'the-books-that-must-not-be-named'

Great Work

Nice chapter, again! Can't wait to read the rest, are you updating doon?