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I am by no means an expert but here is my two cents
your grasp of the rules of english is very good, how ever you need a little work on your word choice for example the line "couldn’t do anything but see into her hazel pools" reads better as "couldn’t do anything but LOOK into her hazel pools"
if you wanted to make even better, you could reword it to read "couldn’t do anything but GAZE into THE hazel pools OF HER EYES" |
Author Feedback: You know, I had many problems with THAT sentence, I didn't like it. By the time I finished writing the fic, I revised it, but nothing came up so I could change it.
That's exactly what I need, somebody who will see my mistakes. I don't have my fics 'beta-ed', so I'm looking for one.
And, I don't know, if you are up for the job, just contact me!
Thanks for your words.
sakura_txell |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 10/05/07
dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble dribble drabble !!  |
Author Feedback: Thanks for the review,
sakura_txell
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Julie3291Unsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 10/05/07
Very cute little one shot. They can both be so clueless sometimes. Keep up the good work. |
Author Feedback: Thank you for the review.
sakura_txell |
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AnuUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 10/05/07
you don't? where are you from so that you don't speak english as much as you want to? nice story btw...it was short and sweett! |
Author Feedback: I am from Barcelona, Catalonia, Spain. And nobody in my family knows English, neither do my friends, but I love the language!
Thanks for your review.
sakura_txell |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 09/05/07
I liked this one as well. I think that you're writing is really good. Well i'm off to read some of your other one-shots. |
Author Feedback: Thank you! I hope you like the rest, too!
sakura_txell |
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Light256Signed | Chapter : 1 | Date : 09/05/07
Hey not bad, not bad at all. If english isn't your first language its written well enough that i can't tell. Most of the time i can tell when somone doesn't speak english as a first language, but yours looks as good as any. Keep up your work. and good luck with ur future writting. |
Author Feedback: Thank you! You don't know how happy that makes me! If there was some way to hear audio, I would talk just to know if you think the same about my pronunciation!
Thanks again for your review, and I hope to write more soon!
sakura_txell |
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Just for you to know” squeezing her hand against his heart “this is all yours”
that line was a bit weird. i think what you really wanted to say was" just so you know this is all yours" . otherwise the rest of the story flowed very well.... i am not a gramer expert but the story was fine except for that point. good luck with improving and kepp up the writing |
Author Feedback: Thanks for the point! I will look at it!
sakura_txell |
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