After the rather foul story that was DH and the crapilogue, I decided to read this and it was certain a breath of fresh air, quite brilliant, and cleansed me of the memory that was DH and Scorpius Malfoy and Albus Sevreus Potter. I think in your story, your strongest points are no doubt the plotting and your character creation with their interesting backgrounds. However on the other hand, I don\\\'t know if it was intentional, but some of the characters are plain unlikable and aren\\\'t characterized well at all. I for one think that overall the story is quite good though it lacks the extra omph for it to become excellent.

The premise is probably standard and has been used quite often since HP fan fiction began with the adventures of the next generation of the Potter house of course if it\\\'s not broken don\\\'t fix it though no reason to complain there. The plot of your story mirrors that for Prisoner of Azkaban where our main characters learn that they have a dark wizard after them. Like PoA, here we learn what we believe in the beginning to be false not as groundbreaking as the Sirius and Wormtail revealation mind you, but still unexpected and as a result, the worldview of the main character is changed though probably not as big as Wormtail going off to resurrect Voldemort however what happens here is still emotionally heartbreaking and significant to the Potter family as Harry, Hermione and their daughters deal with a son who is both a werewolf and a possible squib.

The two original characters of Magnolia and Rigel are particularly well rounded and have a life of their own. I like Magnolia and her attempts at dealing with family, her teachers and the apparent madman after her. At the end of the day, she is Harry\\\'s daughter even though she doesn\\\'t seem to be much like him or is willng to admit to any major resemblances. Like in PoA, the qualities of the parent shines through at the climax where she uses her broom with boyfriend and baby in tow to escape the maddened werewolf. Interaction with her muggle grandparents from the daughter of Harry and Hermione is usually a rarity and I like what you did with her grandparents and the brief stopover at Nice. I also love her two siblings, Mackenzie (thats also the name of Rowling\\\'s daughter) the scenes with her at the hospital are cute and Milo especially when he tells her to die from the cold when she forgets to buy everything he wanted and of course the heartbreaking end where he is bitten and is probably also a squb. I also love Rigel, he is a perfect blend of Weasle and Malfoy especially the snark. I think there is also a certain ambiguity in his actions and relations with Magnolia and I like what you did with his family situation being almost pull apart in the middle between his mother and his Grandmother/

However I HATE the character of Connor Lupin, the character is absolutely wooden and boring. He stinks of being a Gary Stu (boyfriend to Harry\\\'s daughter, metamorphagus who can turn into a man-wolf, brilliant at potions tutored by Snape, brillian artist with his best selling comic book and his own special patronus with special abilities). I hate the character and his interactions with Magnolia, there doesn\\\'t seem to be much chemistry between them and in fact the whole thing between them reminds me of H/G, characters falling in love just for the sake of it. The same goes with Camille Longbottom, the premise of her character is brilliant, Neville\\\'s adopted daughter who is secretly the love child of Bellatrix and Voldemort, however the execution is flawed, none of her background shines through into the story and into her character interaction . I hope both of them fall off the tracks due to their use of the dark arts and become antagonists though I don\\\'t see it happening.

As for the returning characters, I think you really missed the mark on Harry and Hermione, they do come off as Magnolia\\\'s parents, but they really don\\\'t come off as Harry or Hermione that we know. In fact Hermione\\\'s inability to fight the werewolf reminds me more of Tent-Crying-Hermione/Won Won!Hermione than the strong character in Ootp or PoA. The same goes for Harry, he seems to play his role as Magnolia\\\'s father however the character that we loved and who JKR created really doesn\\\'t shine through imo and his interactions with Snape strike me as being immature (they are no longer teacher and student and it\\\'s 15 years later) and I really don\\\'t like the fact that you had him killing (Harry using Unforgivables in DH was bad enough), I don\\\'t think having him kill is a good idea especially when we have been told killing is bad for the soul.

A succint and intriguing ending to the first part of a trilogy. I have to say that Magnolia Potter, Connor Lupin and Rigel Malfoy are among the best original characters I've encountered on Portkey. I look forward to their further adventures.

Thank you so much for this! I was really engaged as a reader throughout. I wish you good luck with your original novel as well.

ITL

Wow! I read this whole story at one go, it wasn't unappealing to me at first because of the vague title and not being about Harry & Hermione, but you introduced the second generation really well and it was really captivating. I could hardly stop reading, the temptation of the completed story was too much. My only regret is that now I'll have to wait for the new sequels and chapters and all the cliffies that come with them instead of reading it all at one go Great job!

i just read the whole of this story in one sitting and i just have to say... wow. i don't usually read second generation fics, so just the fact that it kept me hooked is amazing to me. other than that, your OCs were so well-developed-- magnolia is like the perfect blend of harry and hermione's finer qualities, connor is so very much like remus (such a sweet boy, really) and triple kudos for the idea behind camilla's true identity, that was a stroke of genius, though a bit squicky for me, i must admit, for just thinking about her biological parents being... together... makes me shiver, but camilla as a character is a good idea. i'd like to see more of her. but i have to say, over everyone else, i love rigel the best. oh, that boy is PERFECT! just what the world needed-- a mini draco with red weasley hair it can't get any better than that. i feel rather sad for connor, he's such a darling, but i'm really rooting for rigel to win lillie over at this point, haha wouldn't that make harry's life perfect, now, being related to the malfoys? anyway, this was really awesome and so congratulations for an excellent job; i'll definitely be waiting anxiously for the sequel (here's to hoping DH doesn't ruin our canon). i have a bit of a request, though: any chance of our seeing more of ron in the next installment? i miss the fella, he's my favorite character and there wasn't much of him in this one. but still, this is nothing short of brilliant!

Urghhhhhh!!! ..... damn the real life! .... I missed sooooo many updates ....

Finally all is revealed! ... poor poor milo.. that was so harsh - a werewolf and a squib ? ... The son of the two most powerful ppl and look at his fate ... Though i'm interested in where you are going to take this...

All this time, the attacker was never after her ... did not see that coming! ... good twist ... though a little tweeking of the storyline might be needed .. The letter in the great hall and the attack in the common room ... ummmm ... not all that convincing of the final motive... i feel when the writer reveals the criminal, the reader should feel like smacking their head and think "It was right under my nose, why didn't i see it ?" .... A bit patchy on that count ... plus hermione, bringing along her children near the place, knowing there had been a attack and the attacker had not been caught yet, doesn't seem all that intelligent .... little little stuff here and there, nothing a good beta can’t take care of …

I knew it !!!! ... I knew it !!!! ... tra la la la .... I just had the feeling that connor was dabbling in dark arts just to get a permanent cure for his dad! ...does a happy dance ! .... but i'll agree with you completely on this ... I don't think she came of as arrogant ... I can understand maggie's reaction to connor's revelation.. There is probably no other magical family who has had to bear the brunt of dark arts more than hers.. So to shun away connor makes sense to me ... It was probably the only thing she could never forgive (though hopefully she mellows down ) ...

In all, I Luuuuuuurveeeeeeeee the story…. Some absolutely great moments there and wonderful set of characters (which is laudable, since most of them are your own) .. The one thing that drew me into the story was the fact that no one was all white or all black… there was so much grey in between … Camilla, connor, Maggie, rigel …. All set out with good intentions but somewhere along the way something goes horribly wrong ….
Looking out for the next installment eagerly … hopefully there is happiness in store for little milo (btw, loved his attitude… ) …. And all the best for your original work

omg this has to be one of the best fics ive ever read! it was really really interesting and idk wht ur veiws are on this but i LOVE the thought of magnolia/rigel cuz i jus love rigel's character and i think he would be so good with magnolia but as im not the author i cant do anything about tht so cant wait for the update!

Well, well, what a way to end the first book. I didn't expect Connor and Lillie to have a "falling out" but considering his "dark arts" stuff, it gives her right too. I am glad MacNoil is dead. He made me cringe. About the attack-- I thought it was well planned. I thought there was something fishy about how Connor or one of his family always seemed to be there when Lillie was attacked. I am glad everyone, besides Milo ended up okay. Hopefully the Lupin clan can find housing soon. About Milo- a werewolf and what's this, a squib too? The only son of Harry Potter is a social pariah! Well I hope Milo's life isn't ruined because of his werewolfism and his squibness. I am happy Remus can help him during transformations. It is nice that they can go thur it together. I can't wait for the sequel. I am sorry I didn't review for the last two chapters. I read the last three subsequently. Great Job~
Love Amanda

Magnolia Potter is being an arrogant bint in this story. Magic is magic, period and done with, what matter is HOW YOU USE THE MAGIC, not whether is it 'dark' or 'light' which are basically moral judgements pushed on them by people with agendas and pre-conceived notions about certain kinds of magic.

The story is fine, but this latest chapter, where it was suggested that the 'Wizengamot' (who apparently are not very wise at all) would haul someone into court and put them into jail for life for using Dark Magic and dark books to find a cure for an illness that is a scourge on humanity?.......... That just makes them seem like Nazi's, in my opinon, judging something before they get all the facts about that something just because it is 'Dark' magic.

That had to have been one of the most saddest endings I have read in a while. I was close to crying for a moment there.
I hope Milo is ok.

Oh my God what a twist!!! I have enjoyed your story very much. It is the best of all the next generation stories I have read. It is filled with so many surprises and action. Also it is different from your other works.

Oh my gosh! They were after the LUPINS?! What a twist of events! And man, that totally sucks about Milo. There isn't going to be any kind of loophole is there? Poor Potters, this is going to be a real strain.

Well, her brother's life might not have been cursed forever. If the werewolf who was attacking them could figure out how to transform and control his transformations.... why couldn't Milo?

Something tells me that this will be the impetus that finally leads to them finding a cure for werewolfism, or at least a way for people to control it.

A great chapter, though I was not expecting Milo to get bit.

I'm speechless.

Ok...if, and I mean IF Milo is a spuib, will that alter his fate, werewholf-wise? Right now that's the only possible theory I'm coming up with.

It's heartbreaking.

Intriguing! I would say that I can't wait for the next one, but you've been doing a bang up job of getting these out quickly.

I'm still interested to see what Connor's secret is (or if he has any involvement in the current situation). I'm sure we'll learn all about it in time.

Thanks for the fast update! I'm really enjoying this story.

GAH! cliff hangers!!!!! I assume that would be Fenrir Greyback? so that is why snape was training her against werewolves...for all the good it did...hope to see the next one soon