I noticed the only people bitching are "Anonymous" reviewers for the most part. Great amount of courage in the world today, huh?

Damn straight, Kinsfire... you tell those douche bags. You rock my face off.

there is a site called fanfiction.net that u could put ur stories on

I would like to be able to read your stories, i was in the middle of one when it got taken off Portkey, and have tried to sign up with the new site so i could read them, but I have not recieved any of the letters for activating my account. Is there some special trick to making that work?

I'm a former author here on Porkey.org, and I must say, you are definately one of my favourite authors on the web. I've been to the site and I loved it. I hope you update there alot, because I love the owrk you've done there. I ahte anonomous flamers, who are either too lazy, or too cowardice to leave their email there too receive critics themselves. I'm going to miss you on portkey, but will enjoy all your works on your site.

Gurken

BTW: Notice I left my email there.

Hello again.

Since your "story" mentions me, I figure I better take advantage of having your attention and write down a word or two.

Perhaps my co-written review was more a flame than a review... oh, who I am kidding. It was definitely a flame. But gee, I guess that's just how I respond when I read a fic that's the equivalent of having someone take a dump in my eyes.

Regarding people "who think that because they have a large vocabulary they can also write," I can only express outward bafflement as I never claimed to be able to write. Are you saying that those who cannot write should not be critics? Oh, forgive... that would be putting words in your mouth, and I don't want to do to you what you've done to me. Please don't take this paragraph to meant that I am admitting I -can't- write; take it only to mean that I'm declining comment on the subject entirely. My own writing habits are neither here nor there. It is you who puts your own writing on the internet for all the sad, sorry world to see, and while I normally comply with the usual "if you don't like it, don't read it" M.O., some people simply need to be stopped, and you are one of them.

I realize, of course, that you won't stop. Which is fine. Leaves more for the rest of us to laugh at.

Oh, and before I go, so much chuckle for your equating lack of email address with lack of talent, as well as with jealousy and cowardice. I actually didn't leave an email because unlike sharing opinions on your writing, Mat and I do not share an email address. On the subject of talent: I think you've already proven that you wouldn't know talent unless it fucked your mother in law in the ass, or something. On the subject of jealousy: yes, I send flames to all the writers I am jealous of. Because that makes sooo much sense.

But, you know, whatever makes you feel better, Kinnsey.

SIGNED,
Rene

I hear you Kinsfire... i am really going to visit your site...i'll try at least... you see, my laptpop is a little picky with the internet...i'm even lucky enough to come here... but I'll really try to get there... but i'm not promising... i'll try...

I STILL THINK YOUR ONE OF THE BEST AUTHORS IN THE WORLD!!! NEXT TO J.K. ROWLING AND DAN BROWN!!!

Who could have predicted that my mentioning your awful fic on Fandom Wank about a year ago would have ended this way?

Since then, it's become a fandom-wide *classic*, read everywhere by people who go, "EWWWW, what the hell is this?" and then remember it as pretty much the worse fic they've ever read.

NM, much amused

Ding dong! The crap is dead!

The crap is dead
The crap is dead
THE CRAP IS DEAD!

*ahem*

Meh. Who gives a shit anyways...

Mat and Rene are my new sweethearts. Rock on, guys!

"Family Matters" was vile, and told me more about the author's sexual fantasies than I ever cared to know. Great to hear it's gone.

Oh, boo hoo. Don't let the door hit you on the arse on your way out.

I was wondering where they went, i loved Family Matters BTW and i was upto chapter 12 on Ring Of Doom oh well, stupid flamers

Sorry to hear that.
I must say, I'm not very aware of your writing or the work you've done (I've probably read it because I remember your name, but I can't really pinpoint it).

But I'll agree on what people does whenever they review under the Anonymous (how common is that name now?) option. It's sad, that the lack of talent from frustrated people draws artists away from their exposure places.
But I respect your decision, and the line of thought you followed to make it.

This review is to pay my respect for that.
Hope you do well,

Er... now who are you again, and why should I care?

"Family Matters" has always showed me that there may be other normal people in the world after all

HAHAHAHAHA!

Uh... no. No sirree!

Okay.

This is, without a doubt, the most dreadful, awful, horrible, adjectives-cannot-describe fic we have ever read. We only kept reading to see if the badness was actually INTENTIONAL or if this was all an elaborate joke. Having concluded that you do in fact mean it, let us get on with our review.

You are not a terrible writer, in the sense that you can form sentences and get your ideas across in coherent English. There is also one intriguing idea in this fic: "line theft."

That's where our praise ends.

From the "baby planting" talk (at 16, for christ's sweet sack) to the sugary-sweet pet names to the "knocking Helen up" to the "rape-coma cure" to the Ron/Luna/Patil twins four-way... this is just incomprehensible and unbelievable at all levels. Harry is a Gary Stu of the highest degree (MoM at 17?), and we can honestly say that we hate every single character in this fic with an intensity that rivals that of steaming hot bile. Everyone is stupider for having read this fic. The world is a worse place now that this has been written. Anyone who actually likes this is a moron who has gone seriously, seriously wrong in the mind-tank. And you, author, are the biggest fool of all for thinking that you have talent, style, and vision (which you clearly do think, going by your replies to other reviewers).

We should also add that it's really, REALLY obvious that you have never talked to or slept with a teenager. We almost doubt that you ever actually -have- been one, but then everyone is, at one time or another. Instead of real, 3-D teenagers, you've given us characters from a Boons and Mills novel -- and poor ones, at that. The way they spoke made us both want to vom up coat-hangers.

Another thing: spawning millions of twins is not "cute" or "sexy" as a happy ending. It's just stupid.

Please never, ever write again.

And before you think this a mere flame, please consider how much thought and length we put into the construction of this review. And hell, there's even two of us.

^
agrees with this reviewer wholeheartedly.