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ok, i think i understand this. lets see, this is somewhere near hermione's home where her parents lived. the death eaters attacked and burned them to the ground. harry tries to comfort hermione but she just freakin lost her parents - her family, something harry can't exactly comprehend right? so hermione is just...i don't know...making herself suffer for the choice she made? choosing to stick by harry partially knowing that that choice could and would make a HUGE kick in her arse if and when something goes wrong? wow. did i get that right? cuz if i did man i would be ballin like a baby who's lollipop was ripped from their mouth. anyway, good writing. real good.
melissa
acoustics
pounding_silence@yahoo.com |
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CaitieUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 02/02/06
This chapter holds so many truths in it. A lot of times, it is too late to take it back. And we never stop hurting. |
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SabineSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 04/01/06
You write emotions so, so well. Your pain and sadness is so beautiful, it makes me think that your happiness and good would be like looking at the sun, too bright to look at. Keep up the excellent work. I'm your eternal fan.  |
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I really, REALLY love this. I honestly cannot wait to see what direction you take this in. ANd you have smoker!Harry. I'm a SUCKER for smoker!Harry. It makes me swoon. |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 27/12/05
Umm, I'm a bit confused. This could be a good story, but it's kind of hard to tell who is Ron and who is Harry. 'You' is Harry and 'he' is Ron, right? I'm a bit lost.(Sorry.) Obviously something has happened to Hermione, but it's not very clear what happened aside from a fire. Whose coat is Harry wearing? Sorry again, but I think you could make this a lot better if you added some more detail.  |
Author Feedback: In a short story things are condensed to the most important parts.
I don't think you read this very well. The 'you' is Hermione, which is technically the narrator, and 'he' is Harry. It doesn't really matter whose coat she's wearing, only that there are cigarettes in it - it could have been her father's coat once, or it could have been Harry's - it doesn't matter. What happened was a fire. Her house was burned to the ground and her parents were killed in it. So you had it all wrong.
My suggestion is to go back and read it again and pay better attention. |
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EschivaSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 27/12/05
very powerful first chapter! i like that it is from hermione's point of view and is so meaningful. keep writing and update soon! |
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wooow this story is ...... different. lol. i like it becuase it gives mystery becuase it could mean anything. but now im stumped ! lol. i like how its written tho lol. good job, keep up the good work! im gonna go and read more of your stories. |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 27/12/05
That was awesome who died though, thats so sad... i liked it |
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