Very nice chapter and story as well. I love the way you combine history, science and even a bit of religion in your story. (Even though I'm not religious myself, and apparently there have been complaints about the relgious parts in your story, I think it fits the story. )

One thing though, which I woulnd't even notice if I hadn't studied it today. Photons do have a relative mass, they don't however have a mass when in rest. At least I hope so, or I have to study that chapter again.

I, for one am happy that you have references to religion in your story. I got some of the same criticisms when I posted a one-shot called "The Judgment of Tom Riddle of FF.net. It waqs funny though, the critics were forced to email me when I did not allow anonymous reviews...

I had read some of this story earlier, then kind of got away from Portkey. I was reviewing some earlier stuff and saw where I had reviewed an earlier chapter, so I decided to catch back up with the story...and darned glad I did!
Hamilton Wrye

I can't wait for the next chapter! I know its going to be freaking fantastic!!

Magorian

Die Geschichte was interesting but a little more detailed than I should have liked it. I am still a bit aglow from your comments about Apple, however, and I'll read anything you write without hesitation.
More, please... Old Chuck

a brilliant story so far and i love the little scenes of humor id like to take a guess at the person who had harry as a patronus was it colin creevey ?

Great story, and could find nothing to criticize. Looking forward to the coming chapters. Hope they come soon.

I had to skip around a lot to look for this chapter. So far it is the only one that has not made me cringe at some point.

This chapter has almost made me want to keep reading but when I went through skimming other chapters I found myself screaming at the screen in frustration again.

I'll jump over to the other chapters that made me scream in frustration to let you know why but at least this chapter showed that the story has potential but I might have to wait for you to completely finish it so that I can read it from the end, backwards so I can know that the it will turn out alright.

This story seems to be a candidate for the backwards reading I do on some stories, if you can tell me that it will be getting better, less Weasleys keeping Harry and Hermione apart and more chapters like this one where there is more Harry/Hermione interaction w/o the Weasley invasion.... which is what angered me in the other chapters so I tend to just skip those whole sections to shorten the chapters to hopefully get to good parts.

Well it looks like I won't have to go onto the other chapters now since I seem to be telling you what is going on here...

Just when things are going well, Weasleys get between Harry and Hermione. Harry spends too much time with Ginny and not enough time with Hermione. And it is taking far too long for Harry and Hermione to get together I feel.

I do like strong Harry so much and the ideas about Goblins and the Ministry and all that stuff but I hate having to skip through so much frustrating stuff to get to the good stuff.

Again, this story is making me think I'll have to wait to read it from the end backwards if I can keep getting through it.

How many chapters will it have so I can keep a look out for the end so I can do my strange reading style for better enjoyment? Also, I'd like a heads up as to when the angst and separation of Harry and Hermione will be over to know there is a light at the end of the neverending tunnel.

thanks

PJ

OK where to start...

Alright, some positives first before the negatives.

The action sequences are good.

The experimental magic ideas and new spells are good.

Using Dobby like you have been is really good.

I liked seeing Fudge's guys get creamed by Harry.

I liked seeing strong/battle form Harry. That was very good.

Now the downsides of this story. These are not flames, just things I see that bothered me in the story is all. Please don't get upset but I have to be honest.

There is too much Weasley stuff. I liked it much better when the Weasleys were not around and taking over. It feels a bit like an invasion. Maybe it is because I just can't stand the Molly character and her overbearing ways from canon. *shrugs* but the less the Weasleys are around the better I feel stories are, but that is just me.

Having too much Harry/ginny and ron/Hermione especially the ron/Hermione part. That could have been completely cut out as far as them kissing... That honestly made me very sick to my stomach.

There is not enough Harry and Hermione being together and it is starting to make me wonder if it is ever going to get better as far as this being classified as a Harry/Hermione story. I think it is taking way too long and is a bit too much angst as far as keeping them separated for this long. It makes me very frustrated and makes me want to scream at the screen a lot especially after seeing the disgusting part of ron kissing Hermione... makes me angry to see that. Normally that sort of thing makes me immediately stop reading stories. I don't read things that have ron any where near Hermione but you have explained it was because they are drugged. Still it really bothers me to have to see them together so often instead of Harry and Hermione together in a story that is supposed to be H/Hr.

How much longer will it be that you are planning to keep that going? I mean letting ron/Hermione keep visiting each other instead of her being with Harry like she is supposed to be? Which chapter does the Harry/Hermione part of the story actually start on? To get the images of the ron kissing Hermione out of my head, I might need to jump ahead to see the actual Harry/Hermione parts of the story to be sure I can keep reading.

the ron kissing Hermione parts were really upsetting and makes me not sure if I want to keep reading if it will continue.

Which chapter will Harry and Hermione start being together so I can see if I will be able to keep going?

Thanks

PJ

Well, I for one found that truly convincing history absolutely fascinating. I've always enjoyed "alternative" histories, and this is in a similar vein. It must have taken a great deal of time to plot this chapter.

absolutely positively and totally brilliant, i like the history on how the weasleys lost their vote, making a past weasley a slytherin was an excellent touch, and i'm definately hoping that the document that harry saw was actually deliberately altered so the weasleys would loose their vote for good when the time limit came up and harry and the weasley manage to get it back before that happens, though, while i liked the history- the characters were charming and interesting and im so now sorting out the states into the houses and i loved the way you continue to intertwine 'primary' history with wizarding history in a way that JKR could probably never dream of, it seemed to drag on just a teeny tiny bit
i like the interaction with harry and hermione and how they're definately partners instead of one being sort of the leader and the other being pretty useless, i love how you make their relationship bring out the best in the both of them
you're a talented writerand i'm definately looking forward to the next chapter of your fantastic story,

and i thought i've read some in depth fanfics before! lol. i really love the story line, but i completely agree with something you wrote a few chapters ago, it's way too in depth on the history side, and on the science side. it's great that you've thought all of this out, but it gets too hard to follow and i'm wondering just how important it is to the story. i ended up having to skip half of the founders story in this chapter due to it being too historical and not being able to tell what was important about it.

i'm also wondering what happened with the talk with draco, and i'm wondering what happened between his visit to azkaban and the attack on harry at hogwarts. i'm rather surprised that you did let him in the paladin program or that he wasn't automatically removed at that point.

there was also a chapter or two a while back ago where you were referring to ted granger as steph granger, which was highly confusing. you may want to go back and fix that.

i'm also really trying to figure out snape at this point.

i like the story, and i look forward to continue reading it. i know there was something else for me to remark on but i can't remember. good luck!

I have a quick question before I continue reading the rest of this chapter. When I got to this part of the story, here let me put it here:

(The Muggle governments of the world combined forces to bomb most of old Redmond, Washington, USA off the face of the globe in 2038, five months after Windows 2035 shipped.)

I just wanted to be sure it was not an anti-American dig before I continue to read. So far the story is very good and interesting and I would hate to have to give it up if the above was something that would make me have to stop reading it.

I thank you in advance for a prompt response so I can know if I can continue on reading. I have not gone any further in this chapter since I got to this point and saw that, which could be seen as questionable.

PJ

I don't think I'm one of the ones whinging about your 'detours'; I do recall complaining that sometimes a chapter is too ... 'bombastic', overly simple, Harry-can-do-everything sort of thing. I felt a twinge of that here, with Harry developing his Portus spell so easily. What's next - a 'kill any dark lord whose name begins with V' spell?

But I enjoyed the backstory in this chapter and thought it was clever how you tied it in to the canon families. I'm suspecting that Harry's going to - accidentally or deliberately? - discover that the current papers dealing with the loss of the Weasley votes on a permanent basis are forgeries or something!?

If the American founders abandoned the word 'muggle' because it rankled I'm surprised they didn't likewise jetison the term 'squib'.

Enjoyed the twist with Sir Percival; I'd been wondering if he was going to be a good guy or a bad guy, given your cliffhanger introduction. The idea of an honest man objectively examining all sides of a conflict is a powerful one.

I guess we'll be seeing a Mattie Madison one of these days too. Her predecessors sound pretty formidable, even near Harry/Dumbledore in power, if several of them have defeated dark lords of their own.

A couple of glitches in the last paragraphs of dialogue between Harry and Hermione, I think; those paragraphs with speech from one, and then the other, all in the same paragraph. That's a grammatical faux pas, isn't it?

Nice distinction between 'fate' and 'destiny'. I also liked your plugging Hermione's "you're a great wizard, Harry" into the chapter. I think Rowling missed a great opportunity in not having the series end as it began, with Harry and Hermione together discovering that there are "more important things -- friendship and bravery and ... *love*". Ah well. We might see their shared destiny in this story, yes? Thank you for the chapter.

I really liked your story about the Unusual Four - that showed a great deal of imagination. Can't wait to see how you work it into the on going main story. I also liked Harry and Hermione's banter there at the end. Very nice. Great chapter - can't wait to read more!

I wonder, does Clarinda have a thing for Harry? That would be interesting.

I love that you hook Harry up with Bill at Gringotts.

As for Hermione, sounds like she's "handling" Harry the right way. I don' know what to make of the whole Cilla thing and the computers but I look forward to seeing where you go with it. Great chapter!!