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Harry Potter and Hermione Granger: The Hall of Stones

Total Reviews: 9

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Anonymous
Unsigned | Chapter : 3 | Date : 14/05/06
I REALLY EJOYED THAT STORY i THOUGHT IT WAS SO CUTE..
 

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Anonymous
Unsigned | Chapter : 3 | Date : 08/11/05
this had potential to be great. you need to keep updating regularly, school is completely irrelevant and an invalid excuse..
 

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happylady
Signed | Chapter : 3 | Date : 08/11/05
LOVE THE STORY SO FAR, I LIKE THE FACT THEY LIVE
AT THE WEASLEY'S HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THERE SEEMS
TO A PROBLEM WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER. YOU NEED TO RE
UPLOAD IT
UNTIL NEXT TIME
GLORIA
Author Feedback: Re-uploaded Chapter 3.

Thanks for the review, it is much appreciated :-)
 

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Diana Black
Signed | Chapter : 2 | Date : 03/11/05
I've read both chapters, and it sounds interesting so far. I'm looking forward to what you have in store in the next chapters.

By the way, I liked the fact that, after Hogwarts, they're living at the Burrow. Usually, it's Godric's Hollow or Grimmuld Place, but this is new. Nice twist on things!

Keep up the good work!
 

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Dylan
Unsigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 30/10/05
I didn't mean to be too critical.
Regarding the dialogue. I wasn't particularly refering to the CP bit. More the part when Harry got home.
"Very good. Do you have time to drink tea with me......"
"Let's drink some tea together, that would be nice"
That's what I'm talking about.
Do you talk like that with your best friend?

I'd simply say, "I'm making some tea, you want some?"
Much more natural.


Don't get disheartened, after all, you did make it to author status.
And contructive criticism helps a writer improve all the time.
Author Feedback: Don't worry about it I am happy with any constructive critisism It improves my writing doesn't it :-)
 

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Dylan
Unsigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 30/10/05
This is a tediously slow start, and yes, you are very much in need of a beta.

The dialogue between the characters has not improved, (although I understand English is not your first language,) they still talk like they're strangers not best friends.

I'm sticking with it though, because I'm curious about the stones.
Author Feedback: Well why don't you tell me how I could make it seem like they are best friends. I mean the CP part was written that way because it are words on a piece of parchment and not talking dialogue. I guess that is the biggest flaw of CP. Anyway, I try and improve the writing for Chapter 3 and thanks for reviewing
 

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Dylan
Unsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 29/10/05
Not a bad start for your first fic.
You could maybe improve the dialogue a little.
It seems a bit stiff at times, and it feels like they don't have much chemistry.
The plot is a little thin, and the chapter seems slightly rushed.
I'm sure that will improve as the chapters progress, and your confidence grows.
Looking forward to more.
 

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Anonymous
Unsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 29/10/05
I really,really liked this chapter. I am ready for the next.
Author Feedback: I am now tweaking the second chapter and I will post it in a couple of days so be sure to check back later Thanks for reviewing and reading my fanfic
 

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joeygbh
Signed | Chapter : 1 | Date : 29/10/05
A good simple start, your english seems a bit too direct (possibly not your first language?), but it's okay for a first story. Keep at it.
Author Feedback: Indeed, English is not my first language. Anyway I am glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing.
 

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