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A little bit out of character for Hermione and Harry. I mean, with all the too-many-words-too-long-speech thing. They don't talk like that in JKR's book.
And Hermione would simply NOT snog anyone (well, maybe she would snog Harry) in the Common Room.
If you had not tied this piece to the mention of the seventh book in your preface words, the slightly out of characterisation would be okay, I guess. But you did, so my mindset when I started reading this was expecting that you stick to HP and JKR canon; characterisation, manner of speaking, and all.
The turnaroud at the end is too fast. It seems contrived.
But I'll continue reading your other works anyway.
So long as you don't start that Ron/Hermione nonsense again. |
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Really good story!! can't see anything wrong with it!! you just need to pick up the pace a little bit i think!! no offense ot you writing skills at all!!! |
Author Feedback: Hey! Oh thank so much! I'm very glad you liked it! It means a lot, and yes, I took no offense  I keep all constructive critisism in mind as I write new stories and try to change my mistakes  Thanks again! <3 <3 Erin |
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SummerUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 03/08/05
hehe...delusional. mabye it's not as bad as it seems, being delusional. i like this fic. really brought a smile to my face. thanks. i needed that.   |
Author Feedback: Aw, I'm so glad you liked it! Yes, being delusional is VERY very good. What does reality get? Fights and angst, and *gasps* hand grabbing. Delusional people get true love and awesome kisses. I know which one I'd prefer <3 <3 Erin |
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ShelcobraSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 03/08/05
Oh someone has been on Mugglenet recently, hmmm.
Good fic, but the turn around at the end was odd. I firmly believe in H/Hr, but you did pull a bit of a JKR with the ending I feel.
It was fun to read though and I liked the talk with Neville. |
Author Feedback: Hey! I'm very glad you liked it and enjoyed the Neville part too! About the end, oh I hope I didn't pull A JKR  What I was trying to go for was an, Omg, you've been under my nose for the past 17 years, and I've never realized we could be more than friends type of thing. They got swept up in the moment and couldn't believe they hadn't thought of it before. I'm sorry it seemed rushed, I'll work on developing the plot more in future novels! Thanks for the review! It really means a lot! <3 <3 Erin |
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EveStarUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 03/08/05
*sighs* Ahhh... delusional. I am loving that word by the day.
That 'making out' moment between R/Hr - I was about to pull my hair. Haha! My brain was screaming BLOODY MURDER!  |
Author Feedback: haha, thank you! that was one of my more genious ideas haha, I'm so joking.
And yeah, I completely agree about the making out, but I needed something to trigger his feelings and to get him thinking about friends, and Hermione, and all that good stuff. lol Thanks so much for the review! I'm very glad you liked it! I'm on a writing bug, so expect more stories from me in the future! <3 <3 Erin |
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rodrigoSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 03/08/05
great written, liked it a lot.
will be fun too if you choose to continue this fanfic and not one time thing.
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Author Feedback: Hey! Oh thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it Yeah, I considered continuing it, but if you look at my info page, I have three stories I started but never managed to finish. I always loose interest half-way along. It seems I do better with short stories, that way I get to finish them while I'm still interested in them. lol I will be writing more stories in the near future though, so keep on the look-out! Thanks again! Reviews like this really mean a lot to me <3 <3 Erin |
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I think you may be onto something... lovely story. I got that typical heart swelling, teary eyed sigh that can only be brought by something so touching |
Author Feedback: Aw, well thank you very much! It really means a lot to get reviews. Especially when they're positive I'm on a writing bug right now, and am actually just about to update another story (It's about Dumbledore's funeral). So if you happen to be on this site and see it, I'd love to get your comments on it! Thanks so much! <3 <3 Erin |
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Truly is spelled without the "e".
Wonderful little chapter and I loved the use of delusional. I think that you had a very plausible explanation for Hermione's behavior and I still find it horribly ironic that she had to not hersel to get together with Ron. |
Author Feedback: Oh, haha, sorry for the grammer error! I don't have a beta, and was so excited about this story I just glanced over it twice and rushed it out.
I'm so very glad you liked the story! I'm a very logical person, so I hate stories that are like, "Well I liked Ginny for a day, but it meant nothing to me. You however, are everything." It's just not how Harry would think. He did have something Ginny, so if you want to change the plot, you have to do it with feelings, and realizations and such. Sorry, lol, that was my little rant. I just hate stories that have no logic to them.
And yes, I find it horribly ironic too. I wish we could have old Hermione back
Well anyway, thanks again for the review! It really means a lot <3 <3 Erin
Oh, I actually just finished writing a story that I'll be posting on Portkey tonight about Dumbledore's funeral. If you happen to be around, I'd love for you to tell me what you think! |
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LindsayUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 03/08/05
Awwww that was so cute! The ending was a bit rushed...like all the sudden they're in love? But really, I completely loved it. You're a great writer! And those "delusional" references in the last few paragraphs were awesome. Especially the last line!! Haha that had me grinning so wide... |
Author Feedback: Hey! Oh thanks so much! I'm very glad you liked it I just sat down today and was like, I want to write a story. I probably should have taken more time to develop his feelings for her, I was just trying to go for a, Woah! How come I've never realized this before kind of reaction. lol And thanks again for the review! It really means a lot <3 <3 Erin |
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