First, I'd like to say I've liked it so far. I look forward to the next chapter. Now, I have some suggestions for your writing in general. When you introduce a character, don't be afraid to go into minute detail with some, including the main character's first impression, and nearly pass over others. You can say more about them later in the story, especially if it's multi-chaptered. In the beginning, what's more important is exactly what effect they have on the main character. Don't be afraid of length! Readers don't mind long chapters as long as they're good. Go into detail about some of the surroundings and what the character thinks about them. Don't tell about every little thing, but really try to get into Lily's world yourself.

Onto the next chapter!

CAz, please stop EM the hippiechic acount, I don't use it any more, and haven't been able to the last 3 or 4 months. EM me at blessthecharter@yahoo.com 4 now on......u should b able to figure out who his is

forgiven eacher? what did lily do to james (except habor a long-term grudge)?

Hmm it's a shame you stopped the storry kinda suddely like that I was liking it a lot. Hope you write something new soon I can really see how your writing has improved. Good job.

“Bethie, do you know why Prongs has barricaded himself in the Heads' Rooms yet? It's not about his parents and sister anymore.” Sirius the Sensitive obviously knows nothing about greif or trama. people can shut themselves away for good long periods of time.

these boys are very free with their secrets, even one's that could send them to azkaban for long periods of time. speaking of secrets, the 'i'm a werewolf' confession was a little anti-climatic.

'“Fine,” she sighed eventually. “You'll have to do.”
James refused to take offence' hehe. it's little things that gives you voice.

“Missy, when you get back you are telling us, okay? And I can't believe you told James and not us!” true, not the normal reaction to hearing your best friend's parents are dead, but it sure keeps things light.

when venting their greif, people rarely make sense let alone have blow by blow acounts. besides, you're readers already know that stuff. she doesn't add much flavor to it either, leaving the paragraph rather dry.

and nothing was in the prophet after voldermort made these attacks!

i did enjoy the obserdity of sirius and beth's confessions.

that lily's one smart cookie.

wow. they really know how to hold their grudges. i'm almost sad they're on speaking terms now. the insults were great.

good for you lily; you know your numbers. 9 3/4 is between 9 and 10. aren't boys (Snape) supposed to be afraid of cooties or something at age 11?

this story was really really really good and it has inspired me to write my own

Good story as ive said so menny times but I don't feel that that chapter was as good as your others... It didn't hsve enough BANG as the others did. but it was still a great story!

Yeah awsome chapter do you like the number three or what not? but I still love the story with almost all my eyes (if you havn't noticed I'm a little wacked!) lol yeah well can't wait to read more!!!

Personaly I didn't like the part whrere you wrote about james having a wet shirt to me it seamed like he didn't want to be with lily... I am like so pissed a the death eaters and Vman (thats what I call him so I dont have to write hi so long of a name)and what did you mean by negoiate...was it like verbal or violance? but i still love the story but all the more can you get back to me on the negoiate part? Thanks...

only afew words Smape should die!!! Malfoy should die!!! on a less angry note I feel so bad for lily!!! how can people be so mean!!! James is so sweet! im glad that 1 out of the 3 couples are together I cant wait to see what happens between them all! you might think that im crazy for reviewing every chapter but I hate it whem people dont review till the end (Im a writer too) but I havent written on this site yet so maybe things are diffrent here...well LOFF the story!

AHHHHHH *screams* I love it! you know I shoundn't be reading this during school but I coundnt take my eyes off this freaking totally awsome story! Yeah sorry I didn't review last chapter but the teacher caught me that was last class...LOL but like ive said before I love this story!