SSHHH. Can't tell. I got teary-eyed right about around this part...

"“Harry,” She said his name with a little more comfort this time, with a little more feeling. Her inflections in the word reminded him of a song. No one had said his name the way she did, or in the tone that she did. Her gaze seemed to burn into the side of his face. “Why won't you look at me?”




He wasn't expecting that. He was expecting anything but that, actually. He was expecting her to yell, or scold, or to even tell him to do his homework. He lifted his gaze to her, and it hurt. It hurt just looking at her and knowing that he couldn't have her. He stood up abruptly and walked away from her. He leaned on the edges of the fireplace. Hermione dared not to follow him.




“Why won't you sit by me?” Tears began slipping from her eyes. “What is it? What's wrong with me?” She was hiccuping as she talked, making it hard to understand, but Harry understood her perfectly. "

Oh yes...MAJOR tears started there. It's so touching, and I love the way you used your words. =] Great story!

That was quite lovely and angsty - is that really the end, or is there more? I hope for more. Well done.

that was so good.... im all choked up, that was just.. wow. i loved it amazing job cant wait to read more of your writings


-jenna

Wow. This was one of the best angsty fics I've read about Harry and Hermoine.
So, yes I really liked it.
Though the beginning was a tad bit frightening, I didn't know how the story was exactly going to end.
But, nonetheless, I really liked this a lot.
Great story!

Wow this was a great one shot. Very emotional and very well written. I loved hearing both their thoughts so we knew what was going on in both their heads. Some parts seemed rushed and some just seemed to drag too long.

Maybe it’s because we were not privy to what was said or done to finally push them apart at the beginning but even though I thought it was a good story I just couldn’t really get into it because the whole tine I kept thinking ‘Hermione is not stupid, she knows Harry has a ‘saving people thing’ how did she not see through what Harry was trying to do?’ I kept thinking she would figure it out on her own but she never did. Then the ending just seemed very unfinished and unresolved. We had this long story of separation and pain then he just says he wanted to keep them safe and she laughs in his face then they exchange I love you’s and that’s it? It just seemed like an unsatisfying ending even though you pretty much had them say what needed to be said to make it better, it just seemed rushed and like you cut the story off in the middle of an important conversation. I was seriously expecting a second part that continued the conversation and the resolution of the story and I was shocked to see that was it. I just felt like there wasn’t enough dialogue or discussion. Had we been able to hear at least snippets on what was said to drive everyone away then maybe Hermione not figuring out something so obvious would have seemed more plausible and had there been a lot more dialogue throughout the fic or even just at the end it would have felt like a thoroughly completed fic.

Despite the unfinished and rushed feeling to it, I still thought it was a good story.

Great beginning, and the narrative of the effects of their estrangement on their feelings was quite good. The shifts back and forth between Harry's and Hermione's thoughts were a bit jarring, but not too difficult to follow. However, the end scene, once Harry admits the reasons for his actions, feels sketchy and rushed, and coould have been fleshed out with a lot more dialog. This wasn't one or two days, but months of separation, the ease with which they got past it seems a bit too simple. Still, nice work overall,

The constant change in POV made it hard to get into and quite confusing pretty much until they started talking to eachother again.

aww.. very good.. very angsty.. i'm so happy that they made up at the end.. i'd really like another chapter, but i know this is prob. it.. but good job! yay!