Great overall, and I think your use of "the young boy" is effective if you're trying to prolong his identity, but I think you may have overused it a little.

poor harry.. talk about wripping out his heart.. i just hope they get bak together, i'm sry but ron idk just doesnt work, i'll probably feel bad for him later, o well lol.. really great job, i can't wait to read what else you have planned for the rest of the story. i hope u update soon, my friends and i are looking forward to it.

poor harry.. talk about wripping out his heart.. i just hope they get bak together, i'm sry but ron idk just doesnt work, i'll probably feel bad for him later, o well lol.. really great job, i can't wait to read what else you have planned for the rest of the story. i hope u update soon, my friends and i are looking forward to it.

wow i absolutely love hermione's logic in this.... i dont want to break ron's heart but its a-ok to break harry's


first harry wants to stop for ickle ronniekin's sake now hermione does when are these two gonna get clued in. i mean for real its rather frustrating.

um, yeah, so when exactly is hermione going to make her decision that involves leaving ron and hooking up with harry?

Oh man...only saturday...
well, I guess it's more important for you to keep your sanity, huh?

I am really beginning to like this story, and I also think that Ginny is a butt and Hermione needs to just break up with Ron and be with Harry, for christ's sake!!!

Cannot wait for Saturday!! I have something else to look forward to the weekend for now!

Luna

kool kool kool kool kool kool kool kool kool kool kool kool kool

this was a great chap. o do hope that the 2 of them can finaly heel in each others arms soon and for ginny to go Fuck her self in a corner. sorry if my words ofend u but i dont like ginny in this at all and i want to no y she is being such a bitch. BBFN

This is a very emotionally filled story. You have keep me on edge. One question though, at the begining of chapter 2, you stated that there was a passing mention of Ron and Hermione dating before she got with Harry after a couple of chapters. I know they got together in a way but she is still dating Ron. it is now chapter six and she is still with Ron. Is this going to go on long. As i had stated before, I hope she is not doing the same with Ron as she did with Harry. I know she is having her own problems, but if she is, it seems like she is someone who will be jumping from one bed to another and I really don't like that about her.

This story seems incredibly fragmented. It needs to be beta'd by someone who could assist with issues such as changing who is saying something mid sentence as well as issues with logic flow and rational vs. irrational behavior of characters. It's one thing to say that this story is OOC, but another thing to have a known character not only drink profusely (which Hermione seems to be against) but also not freak out over seeing Harry as a bloody mess. Even Tom and Stan would freak out more over seeing Harry's described condition than they did. Any sane person on the street would at least pause and check with authorities over seeing someone as Harry is described.

This story does not seem believeable, and needs some heavy beta'ing.

good chapter, so sad, i cried.... but it was good, really good. I can't wait to read more. keep up the good work!!

i really liked this chapter and i cant wait for the next one

This is getting really ridiculous - how can Hermione be so cruel - there's a limit to confusion and playing around as well!

She shouldnt have been with Harry in the first place, if she was going to leave him and she's being completely dishonourable - please give her a backbone as well as an apology to Harry, I think he's owed one from her!

You know what..screw them all....none of them deserve to have Harry in their lives ...Hermione the least of all of them.....I hope that they all live to regret the way the are treating him right now. I wish that when they realize their mistakes that Harry is the one to reject them all and tells them all to go to hell starting with Hermione. I hope they all get what they deserve for treating Harry this way. I just don'd understand Hermion either.

I'm starting to lose all respect for Hermione. I can't believe she said she loves Harry and then abandons him that way. This is really OOC for her.

I also can't believe Ron is letting Ginny make his decisions for him. He has never acted that way in any of the books. In fact, he has been the one to try and tell her what to do. Now he just rolls over? I don't think so.

I know what you're trying to do in showing the loneliness that Harry feels, but having Hermione behave the way she is just doesn't go with the Hermione from the books.