BiggyMUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 07/06/06
Not let me just say this. I am a bully, a jock, tough to the core. It takes some serioudly strong shite to soften me up. And by god by the end of this my eyes were watering. Thats strong.
I hate that Ron and Hermione were together in every sense of the bleedin word but I understand that it was needed.
This was one helluva story and I cant wait to read some more of your work. |
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Honestly, I really dont think you had a need to "explain yourself". I thought the story was beautiful. It nearly made me cry. You are right: we humans do do weird things when we are lonely. I think JKR herself has said that Hermione has self-esteem problems. If Harry has done such a thorough job of pushing her (and Ron) away, I could see that crushing her ego. So, suddenly Ron gets the courage to ask her out, and she accepts. That's totally believable (and understandable!). Ron shows interest, makes her feel good (even if she does daydream about Harry while they're together). Ron is showing her the attention she cant get from who she really wants if from.
Your death bed scene was heartbreaking! For everyone involved. You just think that if they were all honest with eachother, oh how things would be different.
Anyway, I just wanted to complement this story. Now, I have to go through your list and find something a little happier to chear myself up!  |
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That took a lot of guts, to write a story that went against what you believe in; not many writers could (or would!) have done it, so for that alone, you've earned my respect.
Even though it was a tough thing for you to do, you did it well, with skill, style, and craftsmanship; yes, it was a disturbing story to read, but it was truly original, and well written.
10! (Cha-ching!) |
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h&hr4evaSigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 07/03/05
I understand what you're saying about Hermione's actions because after all she is only human and we do make mistakes but I also think that even though we do make mistakes Hermione more than likely wouldn't have went as far as to have sex with ron knowing she loved Harry but it is your story and if you feel thats how it should have been then so be it but you are a great writer and all your stories are wonderful and I do hope you keep writing, and again this story was really good just promise next time to steer clear of all possible R/Hr sex scenes because like you said "that ain't right" so try not to be discouraged to write because " that ain't right" either |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 26/01/05
This was well written and all, buy I just don't believe that this is in anyway a H/Hr story. It just seems that you tried to make harry as miserable as possible and then make Hermione as unlikable a bitch as possible. To think that Harry's death actually made me happy just in that it made Hermione miserable just goes to show how much you made me dislike her character in this. Looking at the story, I just wonder how different it would be it the H/Hr was taken out? What would have changed? If there was no deathbed confessional, the whole thing would be Hr/R. It seems that Harry is just sort of tacked on at the end to make this story fit the site. I don't think I explained that very well, but simply put, the H/Hr seems inconsequential to the story. It seems just like an excuse to make Harry look bad. And I get enough of that at other sites, I'd rather not see that posted as a H/Hr. I do think that you are a good writer, however I respectfully disagree with your interpretations on how this fic plays out. |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 14/01/05
 I'm glad you put up this chapter because otherwise I would have just hated you for putting up a story like that. Now I understand why you put in the things you felt necessary. At least Harry rids the world of Voldemort so that gives more light to it. |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 13/01/05
usually, i hate when hermione fucks with ron then fall in love with harry, but yours is the one i hate the less. i think is a compliment, haha!!! anyway love it..... |
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Ok, I'm not going to berate you for writing a story that seems to be a bit Hr/r. I'm sure you've gotten a lot of that already. But let me give you my honest opinion.
I think what bugged me the most in this fic was the wording. You had said that ron and Hermione *shudder* were "making love." Now, if she doesn't love him, there's no such thing. Huge difference between having sex and making love. Which I guess leads into my other problem. Just because Hermione clung to ron for friendship/ companionship/ whatever, it doesn't mean that she would do that. I don't want it to happen, but a ron/Hermione relationship is possible. However, I just can't believe them having sex. Hermione doesn't seem the type to do that with someone she doesn't love, even if she is trying to convince herself otherwise. But then again, it is your fic and it's your choice.
Now, I know this piece is angsty and normally I won't go near the angst as I need a good daily dose of fluff, so, it's my own fault for reading it (this was pre-warning in the summary, however). But the title/concept had me curious. After reading this, I was a bit upset, I'll admit, but then I read most of your other pieces (I do hope to review them later). Do I think you're an Hr/r shipper? No. I don't think you're trying to infiltrate our ranks and slip some Hr/r under our noses. I just think that maybe certain aspects of this story caused some Pumpkin pie-ers to get on edge. It really is a beautifully angsty story. If not for the baby, I may have even enjoyed it (I just can't take the idea of a Granger/weasley baby ... sorry). Harry dying in her arms is the stuff that angst is made of. So, don't doubt your writing abilities from any bad reviews. I guess just be a little more careful on how you write the stories.
We're all just very proud of our ship and try to protect it at all costs (which I'm sure you know). I hope I didn't offend you or make you feel worse by saying this. I meant only to give some constructive criticism. Please keep writing! |
Author Feedback: Thanks for your honest opinion and review. (I seem to be saying that to a LOT of people lately!) I wanted to let you know that I am an AVID H/Hr shipper. Like you said, you've read my other stories, so you should know how I feel. This is the first ever story I have written that had R/Hr in any shape, form or fashion. I debated long and hard with myself before even attempting to write this. It's just something I couldn't get out of my head and I wanted to write it as a sort of catharsis.
The only thing I can tell people is to look at this as a "what if" story. Of course, all fanfiction technically is "what if".
When I wrote this, I really did not think it was going to create such a stir. I've seen other fics here on Portkey that seemed much, MUCH worse than mine. I can think of one that begins with Ron and Hermione having sex, and it was a lot more graphic than my story. Talk about a shocker when I started reading that one! And I have yet to read one negative comment regarding that scene.
As for the whole Ron/Hermione having sex issue, I've tried to make my case in the author's note that people do strange and stupid things when they are lonely and hurting. Hermione is human, and therefore fallible. I look at what she did much the same as Kate Beckinsale's character in Pearl Harbor. The only difference is that Harry was not presumed to be physically dead, but emotionally dead.
Again, for the record I DO NOT hate H/Hr. I DO HATE R/Hr. This is just a story about people, the mistakes they make, and the guilt they feel after those mistakes.
Because of some of the negative comments I've received, I've thought about taking this story off of Portkey. However, after speaking with Heaven, one of the admistrators of this site, I have decided to leave it here. I'm sorry if people don't like it, but I can honestly say that I have read stories by certain authors here that I personally don't like. That doesn't mean I will stop reading their stories, and I hope people will continue to read mine. And they will ALL be H/Hr, by the way, if I can work up the courage to write again!
Thanks for the constructive criticism. It will not go unheeded. |
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Sage ValeSigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 12/01/05
I liked this story, but you put the prophecy in. Both Voldemort and Harry died. I'm being too literal, because if, by some twisted chance you decide to continue this one-shot, Harry could (but probably won't) come back. Because, if Voldemort died, Harry shouldn't have. Yet, anyways. Hope I make sense.
P.S. I REALLY liked your story, except I wished Ron and Hermione, hadn't......yeah. Like you said," That ain't right!"  |
Author Feedback: I'm glad you liked the story. Your point is a valid one, but I took a literal interpretation of the prophecy. It said that neither could live while the other survives. It just didn't say how long! |
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SmileyRhiSigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 12/01/05
I thought it was very good,realistic. Everyone makes mistakes and most people have made that very mistake aswell. One of the great things about the characters that JK Rowling has created is that they are still so normal in a fantastical world. They experience the same hormones and experiences in the books as any other teenager in the real world, so why shouldn't they in fanfic too. |
Author Feedback: Thank you. I feel like I have spent all day trying to justify this story, and I'm really tired. I have a headache and I've been depressed because I'm afraid people will think me a R/Hr shipper trying to slip a story by the Portkey administrators. I've been trying to send thank you's out to everyone who reviewed in the positive.
I'm really glad you saw the story for what it was. Not many people are. They are focusing too much on the R/Hr aspect of the story and not looking at the overall picture. |
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helloUnsigned | Chapter : 2 | Date : 11/01/05
I think i know where you were going with this, I praise your writing skill, I loved your past storys, but am a bit sad about the content. not exactly in this story, but for future stories, I think you should give Hermione a little credit, she maybe insecured about somethings, but I believe she is a stronger person than that, she would not jump in to the arm of the first person that likes her just because Harry pushed her away..Harry pushed her away so many times and i never seen her giving up on him, and that is what makes Hermione so special to Harry, else why would we like H/Hr pair? Hermione is the older of the trio and had proven her maturity...well, sometimes she is a bit cildish, but most time she knows what shes doing, lets look past R/Hr sex scene, snoggin, scenes and go to the end when Harry was dying, I dont think Hermione would be insensitive enough to say all that in front of Ron, at this point, I dont even think this Hermione in the story deserves Harry's love, or Ron's love and I dont even like Ron. But truth be told, this IS a R/Hr centric fic, with Harry as a side note, I do see it as H/Hr because Hermione and Harry loves each other, but I do agree, action does speaks louder, and if Hermione truely loves Harry, she certainly wasnt showing it and the last part of her confession definitly looks like guilt more than love to me, but your experimental story did made me realize that how the trio would turn out in the book might be largely depends on Hermione and her actions. |
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Oh my gosh! That was so sad and so great. I've never read ANYTHING like that EVER! You're very creative, and a wonderful writer! It's really sad that Harry died though. |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 11/01/05
i hate ron now but good. die ron die ron i hate him now because of you
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  tha....tha...thats so sad.... i mean.. she and harry..him and..her... it just mind me really feel and i luved harry and i hermione... ok..well this story touched me so much that its goin in my fav list ..kk we-well bye..... |
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AnonymousUnsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 11/01/05
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