This was great, but I have a question. Are these all like, umm, ficlets? Cause if they are, THIS IS SOOO COOL!

Pretty good but I can't help but think sum parts were unnecessary (some flashbacks) since they don't help the main plot of what you're truly projecting. But I'm really liking it, I just can't feel the charm that was present in your past fluffs!

I hope the next "season" of fluffs will be your return to form

Got about half way through the chapter before giving up; the premise is good, but the characterizations are too choppy and har to follow. You also need a good beta reader to watch for tense errors and homonyms, both of which are jarring to the reader.

Finally, you have a few continuity errors that you interject for no good reason, as the same questions could be interjected without them. The most jarring one, and the one that made me stop reading, was the one during the flashback where Hermione is worrying over her powers, specifically whether or not she's some sort of 'mutant', when she's already received her letter to Hogwarts School for WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY.

I'm fairly certain canon has Professor McGonagall delivering the letter in person to explain its nature, so Hermione and he parents should both know what's going on at this point. Even without her presence, you could still set up the same scene with Alice without breaking canon; simply have Hermione trying to believe it's real, and Alice pointing out how it would explain all the weird things that happened to her growing up. After the bully incident when Hermione is freaking out, Alice could again remind her of the letter and how Hermione needed to go to the school and get her powers, whatever they were, under control.

If you absolutely have to have the mutant comment, refer to Hermione having thought that before receiving the letter, and how she had a hard time accepting witchcraft as a replacement for being a mutant. Frankly I think the story would be better without it, but whatever you like.

I seriously beginning to hate Alice, and this "new Harry" who really doesnt act like Harry at all. I nearly cried and Alice deserved that punch Hermione threw.
Otherwise i have really been looking forward to the next chapter. Great story.
~Micha~

I have to say that if anyone treated me the way Harry and Ron treated Hermione I would have thrown the cake at them. What good is a birthday cake after you have ignored some one, not even said happy birthday, once that was done the hurt was also done so it was way to late to wait til later to give a lousy chocolate cake, it would not be able to take back the tears and sorrow, the hurt and pain of having your best friends treat you that way.

another great chapter, I've been waiting for this chapter cos this ficlet is really amazing. Love the idea of Johnny, now cant wait to read the last part

another great chapter, I've been waiting for this chapter cos this ficlet is really amazing. Love the idea of Johnny, now cant wait to read the last part

.....errrr i wanna sa it was good or even remotely enjoyable but i would be lieing. This latest chapter just i don't even know i just couldn't get into it.

I am patienetly awaiting the next chapter, It's really good and I can't wait!

Well this chapter was ok.
But it's not what I ha in mind to read at 9:55 pm
at night.
Plase keep it up and try harder to make your
Ponet.
Sorry i a not a good speller.

Alice is a gift of character.

Readers should pass the Harry-Alice fact (oh come on why would a H/Hr story not end with H/Hr ending up together?) and appreciate her more.

I like how you're taking the direction of Hermione's past. I was expecting the young Hermione to go ballistic over Alice-John but i guess she didn't... i'll stick around to see where this goes.

One major annoyance though... don't let us wait months for another update!!

kutwg

-kkappletodd

All right, now Alice bugs me like WHOA! I am so totally confused, and I love it! I can't figure out what happened with Alice-John-Hermione, and I think you meant it to be that way...? Good job! Maybe just a bit too many Wicked inferences, but that's okay. Still good.

And update sooner! The last two chapters I had to go back and re-read because I forgot what happened!


UPDATE SOON!

Goldenrose

yes an update and wat a chapter.. it was great but i cant believe that harry is actually having a crush on alice like john did and stuff, well update soon hopefully it wont b months please

“I-I'll do that and open a book in bedroom - oh, wait, I know! While I do that, why don't you go to the corner street and entertain a man by opening your legs?!”

The greatest quote of all mankind.

You sir = ace in the dialogue


But your descriptions are very scattered at times but that's not a really big problem.

Can't wait for part 4!

Just don't take it too long this time

i loved it so so much! i can't wait to see what happens with alice!