That is really nice but is it finished ?

You left a big cliffhanger at the end and I want to see it Filled GDI !

Lovely story by the way

Very cute. I was surprised at the lack of confusion I felt while reading a story that is purely dialogue, but you are very good at clearing up who is speaking. Excellent job.

That was so confusing. I couldn't make any sense of some of the things at the beginning and wasn't able to get through it.

that was pretty gay. i mean the idea is wonderful and all but the story pretty much sucked all kinds of ass..

This is really good. Now if you could write a prequel to this, it'd be even better

Nice story, though spent most of the time confused as to who was speaking as speakers would come and go without warning.

I hate to say but I stopped reading this about 1/3 of the way through. It is just too hard to keep track of who is talking.

Well i got a little confused with who's saying what and where but other than that, i think that it's a great story!! Keep it up !
neni =)

Maybe it’s because I’m such a huge fan of your writings but I never had any doubts or questions about who said what throughout the story. I found it pretty easy to follow and I loved the constant character interaction. The continuous talking made me feel like I was in the room when all this was going on. I can just imagine its pretty hard writing a story but writing one that is all dialog I can not fathom how hard that is and I think your attempt at doing so went extremely well in my opinion. Great story.

Very nice. You did a good job with it only being dialogue. I thought there would be more confusion about who was speaking etc., but there were only a few. Keep up the good work.

Love the name Jessie, don't you? The story was excellent! Great job!

--Jessie

Um, you need to distinguish who's talking, and maybe add more descriptive paragraphs and the like. It was extremely confusing, so try to do that in the future.

good plot but I think I'm confuse with this writing style, I'm not sure who said this line and I need to know they action too.

umm yeh it was a good idea but you should have let us know who was talking at some points and maybe described the setting but otherwise good work.

it gets a little confusing at points, since it reads like a script, and is hard to make out who's talking, but it is a good attempt of a story