Hey,

First I'd like to say I did really enjoy your story. I do have a few criticisms though. Just ramblings perhaps, this is only my opinion and I'm by no means anything resembling a writer.

It's just a couple of things. First, you seemed to be writing alternatively between a first person then third person narrative (with first person insights). Now, generally mixing the two works great, but there were times where you jumped between them on the same thought/paragraph, it became a little disorientating. I think you would've been better off just sticking first person throughout. This might also relate to my next comment.

There seemed to be a lot of times you tried to describe Harry's feelings. I can imagine it being difficult writing an alter-POV from someone else's work (I imagine if I tried, I would failed horribly). But there were times where you seemed to try to force to describe Harry's emotions, when it would've been perfectly fine to simply not mention them. Part of the appeal in Nancy's story was the fact that it was purely Harry's POV. It flowed easily because of it while there were points in your story where it was obvious you were trying to justify Harry's reactions. It would've been perfect to just leave them as misunderstood (Because Hermione simply wouldn't have known). I'd say we got 85% Hermione's POV and 15% Harry's, it took a bit away from the story.

Anyway, regardless of what a git you might think I am now, I did really enjoy your story and I'll be sure to read the rest of your works. Thanks for writing this fic

Oh, MY!! This was so completely hot...can't wait to get to the next chapter!

"That night she dreamed that she was a Snitch and a pair of green eyes was chasing her." That really says it all, doesn't it?

This is a great story, and I am so enjoying it from Hermione's pov. It is a bit repetitive in parts after reading The Snitch; I wish you might have parapharsed a bit more, but that's just a stylistic preference on my part. I can't wait to see what Hermione thinks about the next bit...

I do hope that Harry does catch the Snitch, as out of all the people in the Harry Potter world, he is the one person that should be turly happy for once.

What a great start to the story, I cna't wait to see what happens next.

Again, you have my praise for taking things from Hermione's perspective. A snitch. Ha!~

I've read a couple stories where the different POVs were explored but nothing this elaborate. I like the concept. You and Nancy have both done a fantastic job.

But I would personally like to know how difficult it was for you to assume the POV of a character from someone else's story and write your own novella. Part of the reason I don't write fanfics myself (at least yet I'd like to think) is I can't put myself in the author's shoes as the character. My characters are mine and it's easy enough but you have made the act of assuming the role of an author's version of another author's character seem so damned easy. Brava.

really like this fic... am adding it to my faves so I don't have to do a search for it every time I want to read it!!

... It shouldn't have itched at all the second day, its still too fresh and open. It usually takes about 4 or 5 days to get all itchy (when it starts to really scab up).
I can imagine it prickled a little if she was laying on it maybe, but if she wasn't, she probably wouldn't have felt it at all.
And trying to rub the ink out.... that must have hurt like hell!!!

*grins* I do love that Hermione is a take charge kind of girl. Go Hermione!

haha i forgot to do the alerts and favorites! So i am doing this agian...sorry!

Excellent story! I loved it! I hope that maybe one day you will think of more to this even though nancy might not have lol.

I loved the part where hermione was telling lavender about putting the weasel tattoo on her butt! I thought it was so hilarious! Of coarse lavender was so drunk she would be oblivious to the fact that hermione was just trying to dissuade her from getting the snitch tattoo. But yeah i thought that part was particularly funny!

i luv this story. very well written. i love how you made hermione's pov fit in perfectly with harry's

i'm adding this to my fav stories

Hello this is my first time i have read a H/Hr fanfic (Apart from The Snitch like you said) and i think it will be the best! I really want to congratualate you on the size of the story i printed it all out on font 5 and it has 52 pages! That is just outstanding and the actual story is ver hot well well well done