I have just started reading this story and i m simply loving it. Thumbs up for u

Interesting end to the story, perhaps a little too 'neat' given the more practical aspect you usually took with the fic but still pleasing in its own right.

The only criticism i have for the story is the lack of depth and emotional analysis some rather powerful scenes receive. For example, after learning all the information from Gran Longbottom, Neville and Harry seem relatively unphased. That doesn't ring true with me and it feels like maybe there should have been some more thought and consideration after the fact.

On the other hand though that is kind of how JKR writes so i guess you could look at it as being true to form.

Anyway, i enjoyed the plot of the story and believe you crafted it well from start to finish. As an author of some experience i have two recommendations for your writing:

1) Investigate your characters emotions. Things happening progress a story but the characters emotions give it more flavour and depth.

2) Try to naturalise your dialogue. While this may seem odd, the way i do it is to try imagine the characters talking in my head like its a movie. That way you get all the contractions and slang that we tend to butcher the english language with.


Wow this review reads like a negative one. Don't take it that way. Remember i took the time to read this whole story (no small undertaking!!) so i clearly enjoyed it.

Good job/

Tom

Great start to a fic.

Not sure about you're take on the aussie accent though. With all the ta's instead of to's you make us sound like texan's.

And just so we're perfectly clear, australia is not in texas.

Good job otherwise though.

Wow! i can clearly see why this won the readers choice award! obviously i'm just a tad late to vote but the award is certainly deserved!
One of the things that i noticed that you do (which other writers don't) is at the end of chapters you give us your train of thought and logic about any major plot changes. It really helped me understand the story much better.

Wonderful job writing!

While I respect your reasoning, I would like to point out that Harry was a Parselmouth because Voldemort transferred that power to him, not because he came by it naturally. Therefore I don't believe that your argument stands up and that Harry would have some other animal spirit that he was attached to by birth.

i loved this story and can't wait to read more of your work...thanks for sharing this with us...please continue writing, it's obvious that you have talent in it

you did a wonderful job with this story and definitely gave jkr a run for her money...anyways i can't wait to read more of your work...thanks so much for writing this and sharing it with us

love it loved it and still love it. Read it all today. What a great story!!!

Love it love it love it. This is a great story and i and not stopping reading till I am done.

where is the harry and hermione interaction for goodness sake? Youve got Vicky and Her all over the place, at least let him have a damn romance! God!

Great chapter though I wonder why you have changed the first names of all the death eaters??

Such as bellatrix and Rodolphus... ah well, it doesnt bother me that much

"Aut vincere aut mori" Conquer or die? Lol I like it!!

Loving the ficso far btw, its very well written and the details that you include are fantsastic! i know that this fic is compleated so there isnt much need for me to say keep up the good work so i'll just say that I hope to read more of your fics in the future!!!

Sarah XxX

Fu**ing hell. That trial scene was one of the most awesome I've ever seen. If only we could make a screenplay of this fic! It's so much more inspiring than canon.

Interesting note with the ABC(D)E(you planned Ed well)FG... this is the second fic I've read (dont remember the other but it was a Percy/Oliver fic on FictionAlley) where the existence of a brother between Charlie and Percy is postulated, based on the large number of years between Charlie and Percy - all the other Weasley brood are close together in years.

imagining Dean and Hermione (an underused pairing, even as friends) to cheer on one of my favourite Queen songs is really something I can just imagine vividly! How I wish I could draw it!