You’ve got yourself another reviewer, Il-Duce.
So here I go…
Ratings out of 10:
Grammar: 9.9. In 60+ pages, I can barely see a grammar mistake.
Story: Hmm…I guess I have to read more to find out (because your fic is not yet finished). But for now, I will give you a 9.8. I know this would be a James-Lily, but still, I could sense a forthcoming love triangle, which is James-Lily-Remus. Am I right or is it just my desire to read such fic? Anyway, going on with my review…
Style: 9.7. It’s nice that you use songs to adjust the mood…but I’ve seen that in so many fics so it’s not original (the other Me: who cares about originality? As long as we’re reading your splendid fic and you’re makin’ it, then that’s it!). I suggest that you put titles in your chapters so as to pull reader’s interest and to get more reviews. (the other Me: well, that is a whole lot an unoriginal suggestion you made, huh.) (Me: yeah, right…)
Entertainment: 9.7. What I mean of entertainment is my interest in the story. It isn’t boring; it got a nice mystery/romance plot. And the scene where James and Lily had an intimate time together is kinda short. Well, I’ve read so many fics that has long narrations of that (*ahem* I’m not a pervert!). I think long narrations of that scene would help point out the romance between James and Lily. Anyway, that’s your style so go on with it.
By the way, it’s entertaining to see male protagonists, specifically James, cry. (You’ve got yourself a partner…*we both do an evil laugh*) (James: Why is it always me that suffers?)
Overall: 9.8. Not bad, eh? Keep up the good work! It could get higher if you continue the 6th chapter!
Other matters: Sorry if I put a blackmail note at the end of my overall review…I didn’t mean to put that, but your notes (A/N) brought me to that statement. It seems you are blackmailing the readers to review your work, even though some put worthless stuff on their so-called-review. I know many writers do that. *hits herself* I hope you (and your loyal reviewers) are not offended by my comments.
So, if you really wanted people reading and reviewing your fic, update more often (since it’s the end of classes) or advertise your fic. Post the url of your story on the deviantArt’s forum or on any appropriate forum and then say something about your story. If you want, I can do that for you, just ask me. I just hate the system here of if-you-got-more-reviews-then-you-got-a-good-fic.
Note: Please don’t take my ‘Other matters’ comments too seriously. I am not flaming you, I’m flaming the ideology. *_* Sorry…I just wanted to share my opinions to everyone.
