This is disappointing. The amount of depression you have Jame display shows you clearly know nothing about the subject.

'He looked skinnier than he sold(should), *and it looked* (cut, between *s, it's just repeating) as if he hadn't been eating properly either.'
'Dad and her were both aurors, so will I *be* when I get out of here.'

your grammar angers me. 'Judging from what I had hear(d), ...'

wait. he doesn't want to be around her any more than necessary, but voluntarily spending time with her as a stag is okay?

Great story I enjoy it loads!!! but there are some errors, and some times i dont know who's POV the story is in, so just ponder that...

i'm sorry, but i dont understand how this story is completed? dont you have to include something about lily and james getting together and loving each other? i really don't like the ending. its much too broad. could you possibly write another chapter explaining how they kiss and make up? i do like the story though... bye

Very good fan fiction in general. I liked the plot, I liked the way you developed the characters, and I like the way they learned, and grew. However, I have to agree you need a beta, lol. As long as I can make time, I'll beta for you, if you like. I'm also glad to hear about all the different things you write. I'm in the process of trying to write a play, and I sometimes write poetry in my spare time, but I couldn't see myself writing for a living for the rest of my life. Whatever else happens, good luck with your novel. I hope you finally get ProngsGurl to work on it, and that it gets published and all that. I can't wait for your next fic.

Just to be annoying, I love the Butterfly Tattoo. It's also called the White Mercedes. It's really sad, but I love stuff like that (I know, I'm weird!). It's a great love story by Philip Pullman. He's just about my favourite author. Okay, now I'll leave you to writing, instead of spouting endorsements.

Wow this sounds really good. Love the fact James was so patient and how she glared at him. It was funny when Lilys friend pulled out that parchment.

I know I already reviewed, but I have more to say. This story was beautifully written. it was so sad and funny and great! I can see Sirius as a puppy...and not just because his animagus form is a dog. my email is songsinmyhead217@sbcglobal.net if you wanted to drop me an email or anything. i also wouldn't mind being your beta for the sequel...i'm turning 13 on september 24th so i'm near your age. you write like you are older then 13, actually. Congradulations on such an amazing piece of art


that describes all the feelings I have for this story!

YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!! There has to be a sequel. Wow, I can't believe it's already over ! This story was one of the most amazing stories I've ever read. It was so emotional between friendship and love. I loved it. I loved it loved it loooooved it! There has to be a sequel, even though I said that already. You are an amazing writer. I agree with what you said: that writing is an outlet, an art, and it can't be forced. This story was so great, and I wish I could have been with you for every chapter (as in when you wanted to get so many review before you updated. i wanted to be there). Fantastic story. I loved it. You are an awesome writer and I think that if you publish your book then it will be a bestseller. Great job!


wow, this was a really cheesey review, but I mean every word of it.

Nice Chapter. The part with Lily and the Stag...so sweet. And the quidditch game, even though you said you were bad at writing quidditch, was great! you really sound like a professional writer, and I love this story!

That's it. James loves Lily even though he might not know it. And Lily loves James, even though he doesn't know it. Sirius is so awesome. That's so sweet of him. Fantastic chapter!

This is such an amazing story! It's so sad , but it's still great. I've never read a L/J fic that has this way of them getting together. I love it! And even though the chapter is already up, #3!!!

Wow, this story is great! Sirius is so amazing, and I think the Lily loves James without knowing it. But you know for sure, because you are the amazing author that wrote this brilliant story!