To comment on your story, I would have to say through chapter 12, it was a good read and I was glued (cookies to you ^^). Unfortunately, after that chapter, it lost its touch rather quickly. It was set up *too* perfectly and although I am a true H/Hr fan all the way, it became too perfect and slightly annoying

. To make a connection with you, I find that in my own writing, I sometimes tend to do the same thing – trying to make things go the exact perfect way you think that the couple hoped for and deserves. I’ve tried writing some wedding stories before and I overload them with fun gifts or special parts that embrace the perfect wizard wedding. I just don’t like how the end result is. In a way, it’s exactly what you hoped for but you end up hating what you’ve written. I'm sorry if I was rude, (truly!) but it’s just my opinion on the subject. In some situations, H/Hr’s cute flirting became a little too cheesy and I had to sigh and shake my head. Over all, it’s a cute idea but overdone. Still, cookies for you for keeping it up for 25 chapters – I wouldn’t have been able to do it.
"If you take out all the sugarcoated-ness it might be better." – a friend of mine