Great story! I loved Harry's password and the explanation behind R/H's Breakup. That's such a Ron thing to do. I'm glad Ron's going to be okay, even if he is a prat. And of course I'm very glad Harry and Hermione finally saw sense and got together.  |
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Wonderful one-shot, thanks for sharing. The bit about Ron and the wards was great, and I loved H/Hm dialogue. The setting under the rain was good, too. I'm afraid I didn't pay much attention to alchemy here, but that is good because it goes to show that you managed to write it in a totally unobtrusive way.
Cheers |
Author Feedback: Thank you very much for taking the time to comment and let me know you enjoyed it. I'm glad you liked the portrayal of Ron; it's a bit too negative for some readers' tastes, but I feel strongly that Ron and Hermione bring out the worst in one another. And yes, symbolism in writing shouldn't detract from the story but give it another level for those who want to look for it.
Thanks again for your kind comments! |
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 You couldn't wait for that skin, huh? It's OK, it'd probably be another two months before I could set that as the new default skin for the forums anyway. The Lake one's up next after Delusions.
Let me know anytime, as often as you want, if there's anything that needs to be fixed with any skin. Say, color clashes, too bright backgrounds, too small fonts or mis-aligned lines or boxes in the PM page, reply screen, quote boxes, smileys table, etc.
I don't quite like the dark blue background I've got for the boxes on Y-Rain's right margin, but that'd have to do until I find another hue that looks good in both XP & Vista.
There's hundreds of lines of code to change the color, alignment etc for each element, so what I usually do is to copy those codes from an older skin then change the root category bar's background colors to match the banner.
I'd be sure to update the margin boxes ('cept for Y-Rain's fic excerpt) before I display any new skin.  We tweak them lots before and after we display them.
Speaking of margin boxes, which is more correct: It takes more than food to tear them apart
or
It would take more than food to tear them apart?
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Well, we figured it's worth a shot relocating the alchemy forums here, where the latest posts would stay in the boards' main page longer.
I borrowed this part for a certain skin:
She stepped forward, burying her fingers in his hair, and pulled his head down so she could kiss him again. He returned it joyfully, feeling the rain cascade down their faces, drip from their fingers, as if nature itself was baptizing them, blessing their union of bodies, their melding of emotions.
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Author Feedback: I have that skin now. Wow.  |
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Oops, sorry for the extra 3-4 hits. For some reason, it always takes me 2-4 attempts to log in here in the fanfic section. Too quick fingers wrongly typing password. 
I have a hard time visualizing the chemistry part of alchemy, what sulfur and such look like. Guess I hadn't paid much attention to my chem subjects. Or maybe sulfur's too expensive for my country's schools.
I googled for Mercurius. Sounds like he's a local god identified with Mercury / Hermes?
*keeps googling* I might even dig up our PK-mates' explanations on what this chemical wedding's all about. One of these days, I'm gonna post questions in our alchemy forum. Not as analytical as what were already put in there.
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Author Feedback: No worries! I only check my author stats once in a while, and then I just shake my head at how many people read but so few review. I'm trying to do better in that department myself.
You know, I don't think *I* could reliably identify sulfur in its natural state. Mercury's easy, being all liquid-silver, but the only time I can remember that I would have seen sulfur would have been my first day in high school chem class, when the teacher dropped some pure sulfur in some water and created a nice little flare to demonstrate what NOT to do in his class I think it was lumpy and gray, hard to tell through the kerosene it was kept in.
And of course alchemy was a big deal hundreds of years ago. So it would be alchemists with stone crucibles and hot fires trying to mix these two elements and keep heating and cooling them, trying to clear away more of the supposed impurities each time until they were left with something that was capable of transmuting other elements...
It would be nice to revive the alchemy discussions. |
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Sent you a PM. You're gonna see some confidential PK stuff now.  |
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shadyBLUESigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 07/04/09
thank you for this fic. its so lovely and well written. i could cry.  its really beautiful. your characterization is really good. i love your take about their situation and the ending. i really can't imagine harry without hermione. i greatly enjoyed reading this.  keep writing. |
Author Feedback: Thanks again for reviewing! I certainly didn't mean to make you cry, but I'm glad to know you enjoyed it!
And I'll definitely keep writing as life permits and as the muse strikes. |
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BingblotSigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 07/04/09
Mm, the first H/Hr fanfic I've read in months-- I don't even remember the last one-- and it was just lovely. I love reading stories where Hermione is the one to set Harry straight with her understanding and her persistence; there's something so... right... about them in these more serious stories that tends to get lost in the more fluffy/smutty stories (fun as they are to read) and this was a beautiful example of what makes H/Hr so perfect.
Just wonderful, dear. |
Author Feedback: Thank you very, very much! Coming from one of my favorite H/Hr writers ever, it means a lot. And I owe you some reviews as well...now that Spring Break is here I may be able to do more than just read! |
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Thanks for the explanations. They helped a little, esp that part about Mercury. I like reading Greek/Roman myths but I haven't made the connection between Mercury and old PK discussions about Luna being Mercury -- or was it Ron?
This got me inspired to work a bit on our Rain skin again. Still need another graphic to go with it.
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Author Feedback: If I understand it correctly, there's Mercury (Hermione, the necessary silver metal that can purify Harry the sulphur until he/it becomes the hero/Philosopher's Stone) and then sometimes there's Mercurius. Mercurius is a trickster figure, sometimes male and sometimes female, and the "priest" to the chemical wedding between Sulphur and Mercury. I've seen some theories that put Ron in that role.
Luna is also something of a guide more than once in the HP series, so I can see why some people might link her with Mercury. But the elements for Mercury are earth and water and Hermione has those symbols all around her while Luna has markers as air. |
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Salamon2Unsigned | Chapter : 1 | Date : 05/04/09
Okay, after having jumped over to the Rec boards and answering your PM I couldn't help but return to compliment you on your fic for one last time (since it seems almost unappreciated in # of reviews).
Again, the symbolism was intriguing, and I think you've forever changed my outlook on Red & White character behavior from Harry's conclusions of seeing how the flowers interacted.
I loved how Harry finally came to realize that he did care for Hermione. It felt so natural, warm, and was simply lovely.
Thanks again!
~Salamon2 |
Author Feedback: I do appreciate you taking the time to review as well as recommend. Thank you!
(I think one-shots are destined to be under-reviewed unless written by one of the very popular authors here.)
I'm very glad to have added something to the traditional view of the roses. At the time I was trying to come up with two interpretations: the more traditional alchemy symbolism for readers who might pick up on it and one for Harry to consider that would show his conflicted state over never escaping his Boy-Who-Lived role.
And thank you for the comments; I do find it very easy to write Harry and Hermione together or coming together. |
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I like how Hermione knocked sense into Harry! Great job in capturing how'd they separately realize their feelings for each other; as well as Harry's doubts and sacrificing hero complex, Ron's carelessness; Hermione's loyalty, insights and determination to go for it with Harry this time.
I also like the reason for Herm and Ron's break up. Sometimes a little thing like that could drive one into reevaluating whether it's worthwhile to continue with the relationship. (Whoa, that makes me sound bitter, doesn't it? )
I've given up on understanding alchemy despite Laura's patience in answering my questions. I'm just not cut out for serious literary analysis. I'm sure there are layers I've missed here esp in the following lines, but I like them nonetheless:
Water poured down in sheets silvered by streetlamps in the darkening afternoon. ...
He looked at them moodily, seeing in the red the blood that he must continually spill fighting the remnants of Voldemort’s army in order to protect the white, the innocent wizards and Muggles. ...
He watched as the mist in her hair caught the light, giving the impression that she was dusted with tiny diamonds ...
And more:
not teased by the twins, which was the most telling point of it all ...
The frustrations with the job that was both a calling and a confinement ...
Even when the rest of the school had been against him, even when Ron had been against him, she had always believed in him and tried to steer him in the right direction.
All that rain imagery reminded me of Yethro and Gwendy's drawings. We've actually been working on a forum skin with Yethro's Rain. I've been asking our artists if they could combine it with Gwen's. Skin's almost ready but we'd probably wait 2 months to display it as we've got another one waiting in line. But we've already been showing part of Gwen's "Through the Rain" here.
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Author Feedback: I'm glad you finally got a minute to sit down and read!
Maybe it's because I've spent quite a few years studying literature in college and grad school, but the idea behind literary alchemy really attracted me as it fit the HP series so well until the last book...or really, until the epilogue. I still have to wonder what Rowling was thinking to get so much right about literary alchemy, only to blow it completely at the end (though the ideas I've seen Marcella put forth on the forums about Rowling never changing her fixed idea of Harry and Hermione as siblings help a bit). But yes, you did pick out a few things that tie into it.
The presence of the rain is akin to cleansing and healing: mercurial waters help transform the sulphur from its black stage to its white stage. Hermione the Mercury helps Harry the Sulphur obtain what he needs to grow and succeed constantly through the series. Silver is also a big element and color symbol for Mercury.
The red and white roses are a popular recurring symbol as well. Red=philosopher's stone and/or male aspect=Harry while white=white stage and/or feminine aspect=Hermione. Sometimes the white rose is another flower instead...a lily. I decided to have Harry see a more violent side in the colors of the roses, as his life experience and his job up to now have to have warped his outlook somewhat. I actually wrote them to represent how much Harry and Hermione need one another, that they can't be forced apart without weakening the both of them terribly.
The mist in Hermione's hair was mainly a pretty line that I came up with, but it does tie Hermione back to the rain/dew/living water that purifies Harry the eventual Stone.
Heh, you're not the only one to notice that if the twins aren't pranking that the situation is dire, indeed.
I think Harry-as-Auror would indeed feel that conflict, between continuing to do what his saving-people thing demands and what he's good at but resisting being defined by it and never completely escaping the Boy-Who-Lived tag.
Another idea behind the sulphur/mercury character dynamic is indeed the mercury acting as a guide (just as the Roman god Mercury would do at times in old myths) as well as a support.
I'd been mainly thinking of the song lyrics when I first thought of this story; that it ties into such beautiful fanarts is a lucky coincidence. *stares happily at the pretty pictures*
Thanks for such great feedback! |
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I enjoyed that - it was lovely. Good capture of the characters of brooding harry and helpful, caring hermione. good work |
Author Feedback: Thank you very much for taking the time to comment. I'm glad to know you enjoyed it. |
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Awwww how adorable!!! I love this. I love the drama, I love the angst, I love the romance, I love it all! Such a great fanfic. You're an amazing writer. I love this story. One of the best I've ever written. Keep writing! |
Author Feedback: One of the best you've written, eh? *winks*
Seriously, thank you very much for such lovely compliments and for taking the time to leave them. I'm very glad to know you enjoyed it. |
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Hi, this is for you: clicky!
Chalk up the last three hits to me. I wanted to read this but my brain's fried from RL work. Still not done with it, sigh.
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Author Feedback: Thank you!!! And whenever you get the chance to read it properly, I hope you enjoy it. *smites work* |
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"Ron has always looked for the easy way, the shortcut. He did it in school. He did it with his family. He did it with finding a job. And I finally admitted to myself that I could neither change him, nor let myself be changed. And I broke up with him."
And that, in a nutshell, is why I can never accept R/Hr, authorial edicts to the contrary.
This was a thoroughly enjoyable romp into what might have been, and every bit of it rang true to me: from Harry's concerns and survivor's guilt to Hermione's tough love (and later, not so tough!).
And the final imagery, of Harry standing in the rain and letting his cares be washed away, was just about perfect. Stories like this tend to keep using the same images, but this was new to me. Congratulations! |
Author Feedback: Exactly. It crossed my mind to include a 5-sentence summary of why Harry and Ginny are not and will never be a viable couple in my mind, but I decided that if Ginny wasn't worth Rowling's time to develop properly over seven books, then she wasn't worth my time either.
I'm glad you liked the ending imagery; I was bringing the alchemy symbolism to a close with the idea of Harry being washed clean of impurities and honed into a higher state, closer to the perfection of the philosopher's stone now that he=sulphur is united with Hermione=mercury . That was one of the more fun things about writing this, finding ways to sneak in alchemy references without them disturbing the flow of the story.
Thanks as always for the supportive reviews! |
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